Emma Chamberlain

And maybe I'm reading this wrong and maybe this is just my own interpretation.

And by the way, if that's the case, I'm not claiming to be sort of a source of information.

wisdom here I'm more just talking about what I've discovered and how it's impacted me in a way like that's what I'm here to do today I'm not here to necessarily educate you more just share like what I've gathered from all this and how it's benefited me and then you can do whatever the fuck you want with it but it seems to me that the concept is like about detaching yourself enough from a particular person that you love that you can take care of yourself before you take care of them

So that you're not being completely consumed by their life, their pain, their challenges, what they're thinking, what they're doing.

You can maintain, honestly, a balanced nervous system at the end of the day that's rooted in you rather than anyone else.

But it's not about not caring.

It's basically a healthy boundary, really.

But I think there's something powerful about the word detach because at least for me, this is all stuff that I vaguely knew I believed in, right?

Like I didn't necessarily learn anything completely new going down this detachment rabbit hole, but rather it like really painted a beautiful picture in my head that's been really helpful ever since.

And yeah, the word detach to me was really helpful in painting that picture in my head in a way that I've never seen it before, where it's like, you're not detaching all the way, right?

Like you don't need to detach all the way because I think to detach all the way is to not care about somebody anymore, to like train yourself to not care about somebody anymore, right?

In this context.

But it seems that the concept of detachment is about maintaining a sense of independence in relationships in order to have a healthier relationship.

Because dependence breeds negative emotions on both sides, right?

The person who's perhaps more dependent is like constantly stressed about this other person because that other person is like their source of everything in life.

You know, source of joy, source of fulfillment, source of comfort, right?

The list goes on.

If your source of those things is in somebody else, oof, you know, that is not a reliable source.

Ideally, all those things come from as much as possible from within, right?

In theory.