Erinn Hayes

I was actually starting to feel a connection with her, and I was thinking about asking if she'd ever want to get together sometime, roll boulders up a ravine or something.

when Matt doubled over and started to retch.

The blonde woman wrapped her arms around him, cooing into his hair as he sobbed, get out of here, Matt said, not looking at me.

The truth is, I was anxious to leave anyway.

Bridal bodies only have 12 hours before they begin to atrophy, and I still, I still had to find and wed Dwayna Thay, the Chalamet Johnson.

By piecing together visual clues from Timothy's Instagram, I was able to locate his apartment, but as I was shimmying up a storm drain to greet him, I heard the growing wail of police sirens.

Later at the precinct, the cop who arrested me said I could make one call.

I couldn't believe it had come to this.

I had worked so hard for this day, and here I was, locked away in a cell, watching it all fall apart before my eyes.

There was only one person I could turn to.

I winced as I dialed the number, doubting that it would still work.

And even if it did, why would he pick up after everything I'd put him through?

I did a series of lunge jumps as I waited, now a nervous tick from my years of training.

To my relief, he took the call.

He even sounded worried, said he'd be there as soon as he could.

As I walked back to my cell, I caught a glimpse of myself in the window and gasped.

My body had sagged fully back into its pre-bridal form.

The average arms, the mediocre abs.

I hung my head in shame.

20 minutes later, the guard announced that I had a visitor, and I looked up as Chainsaw walked through the door.