Esther Perel

Where shall we begin?

As we say on the podcast.

Where should we begin?

There's a lot of things behind what's happening to dating.

Dating is the symptom.

But maybe one way of asking is what's going on in the world of relationships?

that is making dating more complicated.

The world of dating itself, romantic consumerism is really challenging.

when you are constantly looking for the perfect and afraid to settle for the good, when you are dealing continuously with the paradox of choice with so many options and looking for a soulmate on an app, and with the tremendous case of FOMO, when the ick factor is so omnipresent and very, very quick to kick in.

When we need more social skills than we ever needed before because we are living in such a contactless reality and we actually don't have the skills to speak to people, to look at them.

One of the first things we just did when we saw each other is touch.

You know, we have been so disembodied.

So we looked at each other, we smiled to each other, we touched each other, and we kind of really grounded ourselves in each other's presence so that we can have a conversation rather than trying to look for algorithmic perfection.

So the first thing is, where does the perfection come from?

Right?

Many different sources, but one that comes up immediately is when you look at your phone, it will tell you from app to app, everything

where to go, what to listen to, where to eat, what to watch next, what to listen for next.

And it gives it to you without any ambiguity.

It gives it to you with utter predictability and perfection.

And all those technologies that we are having in the palm of our hand are promising to unburden us of all the inconveniences of life.