Esther Perel

I think the first thing you do is what belongs to you and what belongs to them.

Don't personalize.

It's a strange thing.

It's what you said before, you know, somehow it's sometimes it's even worse if it has nothing to do with you.

It's like I would rather be part of a bad story than not be part of the story at all.

Cast me, please.

And it's like, wait, you know, it's like, it's not your story.

And if when and you know, sometimes what it means, because a friend can tell you something, and you don't instantly think it's you.

Why do people personalize it though?

Because there are only two relationships that really mirror each other.

The one you had with your family or your original caretakers, caregivers, and the one you have in your romantic intimacies.

Those two match.

People can tell you, I don't have this with any of my friends.

And I believe them.

You don't, I'm sure.

You know to maintain that differentiation is what we call this.

that there are two people here.

And when one person feels something, the other person can feel for them, but they're not feeling the same thing as them.

I remember the first time you told me that.

I care about it.