Esther Perel

And look, I've had more than one, in this instance, men in hetero relationships tell me, you know, if I knew...

It's about how much my partner, my girlfriend, my wife, whatever, my girlfriend tells her girlfriends about us, betrayal would be redefined.

I think that there is often a sense among women, girls, that it's not a betrayal because I'm talking to my best friend.

Whereas for many people, many men who are much less likely to share that much about their girlfriends to their male friends, if they were to discover all what she is able to put out there,

Betrayal would be redefined.

And I think that there is something to think about that.

Now, when you talk to your girlfriends, the question is this, are you ever actually saying what you have done as well?

Or are you only talking about what he or she or they did to you?

and that's where the girlfriends can come in and say look everything starts with the name of the other person alex did this and alex said that and alex didn't and you know what alex and what have alex again alex alex alex at some point you want to say and where is esther in the story

And if Esther is not mentioned, and what did you do?

You know, when I see a couple and I see one person telling me a story, and then when the other one arrives, it's like everything this one left out is what this one starts with.

It's in the tone, it's in the way.

Of course you come to your friends.

I'm struggling with something.

I don't know what to do.

And good friends sometimes give advice and sometimes really make space and listen and just say, you will figure this out.

I'm here for you if you need to.

Sometimes I need to tell you, this is what I think is happening now.

You need to talk to her.

You need to tell her what's happening with you.