Esther Perel

Um, we all thought we would sort of try and bring a question to you from our own lives or relationships.

And we've sort of realized in the discussion, they sort of fall under three categories.

We think intimacy, trust, and then workplace relationships.

So, so this is, I want to ask a question about my relationship and I have the permission of my wife, Penny, um,

to do so.

For context, Penny and I have been married since 2019.

We now have three kids aged nine, six and three.

We're on a slightly different parenting journey to everyone else or to a lot of people.

We have a neurodivergent child, just for context.

When Penny and I first met, it became very obvious very early on that she didn't like affection as much as I did.

If it was up to me, we would hold hands making the dinner.

I love

Affection, not that much, but I love affection.

I remember very early on in the relationship saying to her as a passing comment, I said, how good is spooning, like just hugging in bed?

And she said, oh, no, I don't like that at all.

And I remember thinking, oh, gosh, that's disappointing.

That's something I like doing.

And I remember thinking early on in the relationship, well –

Maybe I don't need affection as much as I think I do, or maybe she'll change over time and then she'll grow to really like it because we'll be so in love and it'll be great.

But my main thought was maybe I don't really need it that much.