Esther Perel

For him.

For him.

For him. And we knew he had kidney issues, but not that bad. Not that bad. That meant... And you know, in the United States, there are no organs because the system is set up that if you want to be a donor, you have to specify it on your driver's license. In Belgium, where I'm from, everybody is a donor unless you specify on your driver's license that you don't want to be a donor.

For him. And we knew he had kidney issues, but not that bad. Not that bad. That meant... And you know, in the United States, there are no organs because the system is set up that if you want to be a donor, you have to specify it on your driver's license. In Belgium, where I'm from, everybody is a donor unless you specify on your driver's license that you don't want to be a donor.

So think about that because it really saves lives. But now I needed to find a kidney. Wow. And that meant I needed to let people help me. And I was at a mercy. So I began to talk to small groups of friends. Just grew the circle every time a little bit. Who would like to donate a kidney? I'm not a match. My son is not a match. My other son was not going to be able to do.

So think about that because it really saves lives. But now I needed to find a kidney. Wow. And that meant I needed to let people help me. And I was at a mercy. So I began to talk to small groups of friends. Just grew the circle every time a little bit. Who would like to donate a kidney? I'm not a match. My son is not a match. My other son was not going to be able to do.

And it's an amazingly humble thing. you know, experience to... I had no problem asking, I have to say. I genuinely have no problem asking for help. I am not the person who helps others but can't ask for myself.

And it's an amazingly humble thing. you know, experience to... I had no problem asking, I have to say. I genuinely have no problem asking for help. I am not the person who helps others but can't ask for myself.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And I got a point where we had 10 people, 10 people who were willing to donate, but one match. And anyway, the match came through. It was our friend. We brought her over from Europe. We created this whole ritual with friends in my house where the night before they went in, instead of it just being an organ donation, we turned it into a sacred gift.

And I got a point where we had 10 people, 10 people who were willing to donate, but one match. And anyway, the match came through. It was our friend. We brought her over from Europe. We created this whole ritual with friends in my house where the night before they went in, instead of it just being an organ donation, we turned it into a sacred gift.

We sat in a circle and talked about what is our experience in life about giving and receiving. We brought them together the next day. And then for the next months while they were recovering, basically I had all our friends, this one took them to the hospital every morning at 7, this one cooked, this one this, this one that.

We sat in a circle and talked about what is our experience in life about giving and receiving. We brought them together the next day. And then for the next months while they were recovering, basically I had all our friends, this one took them to the hospital every morning at 7, this one cooked, this one this, this one that.

And here's the important thing, I live with an expert on community resilience. His work, his lifelong work is about collective trauma and community resilience, but he had never experienced it himself in action. Wow. So this is my story. Oh my goodness. Oh my God. That's beautiful. I have not yet told this in public.

And here's the important thing, I live with an expert on community resilience. His work, his lifelong work is about collective trauma and community resilience, but he had never experienced it himself in action. Wow. So this is my story. Oh my goodness. Oh my God. That's beautiful. I have not yet told this in public.

So here's the interesting thing. There is a moment that is a lesson. At one point early on, I said I talked to so-and-so and they said we should go see the doctor so-and-so, which we're going to see now in LA. And he said, why do you talk about this with people? I'm entitled to my privacy. any of you who are in this room who are that person.

So here's the interesting thing. There is a moment that is a lesson. At one point early on, I said I talked to so-and-so and they said we should go see the doctor so-and-so, which we're going to see now in LA. And he said, why do you talk about this with people? I'm entitled to my privacy. any of you who are in this room who are that person.

And I said, but come on, it's because I talked to these people that I got this name, that I now have this appointment, that this is how it works, community. I mean, do you think we're just gonna sit here and find a doctor who's gonna see us in less than six months? That's what I meant by I talk.

And I said, but come on, it's because I talked to these people that I got this name, that I now have this appointment, that this is how it works, community. I mean, do you think we're just gonna sit here and find a doctor who's gonna see us in less than six months? That's what I meant by I talk.