Esther Perel

You're just a slob. You're just a this. You're just a that. It's a fantastic way we have to organize the world. So that is one of those nasty things that really make relationships not thrive. You know, name calling the other person, the whole thing. And then I'll ask you one other one that I think is really crucial. When you fight, because fighting is a major piece of relationship, it's intrinsic.

You're just a slob. You're just a this. You're just a that. It's a fantastic way we have to organize the world. So that is one of those nasty things that really make relationships not thrive. You know, name calling the other person, the whole thing. And then I'll ask you one other one that I think is really crucial. When you fight, because fighting is a major piece of relationship, it's intrinsic.

Conflict is part of love and relationships, all relationships. But don't think that what matters is what you're fighting about, but always ask yourself, what is it that I'm fighting for? What people fight for when they fight is usually three things. You fight for care and closeness. You fight for respect and recognition. And you fight for power and control. Who makes the decisions?

Conflict is part of love and relationships, all relationships. But don't think that what matters is what you're fighting about, but always ask yourself, what is it that I'm fighting for? What people fight for when they fight is usually three things. You fight for care and closeness. You fight for respect and recognition. And you fight for power and control. Who makes the decisions?

Whose priorities matter more? Power and control. Care and closeness, do you have my back? Can I trust you? And respect and recognition, can you value me? Most fights you will find are about one of those three things. But that's not what we say. What we say is, why did you leave your shoes once again? In my tour, I have this couple, and they fight about the cat closet, the litter, the cat box.

Whose priorities matter more? Power and control. Care and closeness, do you have my back? Can I trust you? And respect and recognition, can you value me? Most fights you will find are about one of those three things. But that's not what we say. What we say is, why did you leave your shoes once again? In my tour, I have this couple, and they fight about the cat closet, the litter, the cat box.

And I'm thinking, seriously, we're going to talk here about cat litter? I mean, this is an important session. And then I understand that when she says, why didn't you close the closet? It has nothing to do with the closet. It has to do with his father who told him all the time what to do, who stood with his foot on his neck, who never let him breathe,

And I'm thinking, seriously, we're going to talk here about cat litter? I mean, this is an important session. And then I understand that when she says, why didn't you close the closet? It has nothing to do with the closet. It has to do with his father who told him all the time what to do, who stood with his foot on his neck, who never let him breathe,

And this guy grew up saying, nobody's going to be the boss of me. This is what he's saying when he says, why should I close the closet? That's power and control. And then she grew up all alone, taking care of the whole family, really miserable situation. And when he says, why should I close the closet? You close the closet. What does she hear? I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

And this guy grew up saying, nobody's going to be the boss of me. This is what he's saying when he says, why should I close the closet? That's power and control. And then she grew up all alone, taking care of the whole family, really miserable situation. And when he says, why should I close the closet? You close the closet. What does she hear? I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

I've always had to do it for everybody. I took care of everyone. And this is going to continue. You know, this is the underlying thing. But people will get so caught in the closet and the cat litter, it's phenomenal. This is why... Do you get, this is the, what are you fighting for? Ask yourself that, it will shorten your therapy hours by many.

I've always had to do it for everybody. I took care of everyone. And this is going to continue. You know, this is the underlying thing. But people will get so caught in the closet and the cat litter, it's phenomenal. This is why... Do you get, this is the, what are you fighting for? Ask yourself that, it will shorten your therapy hours by many.

Yes, yes, these days we trust our robots more than our partners. I know, right? It's amazing.

Yes, yes, these days we trust our robots more than our partners. I know, right? It's amazing.

Coming out this week.

Coming out this week.

Yes. Half of me was so excited I have an answer and half of me wished I didn't have to have an answer. But you'll hear why. Basically, when did we go to Australia? Two years ago, two and a half years ago. I came to LA on November 1st. I was with my husband and we were on our way to New Zealand. I was starting a whole tour. My kids were already waiting for us there.

Yes. Half of me was so excited I have an answer and half of me wished I didn't have to have an answer. But you'll hear why. Basically, when did we go to Australia? Two years ago, two and a half years ago. I came to LA on November 1st. I was with my husband and we were on our way to New Zealand. I was starting a whole tour. My kids were already waiting for us there.

And basically we entered the doctor's office and the doctor said, you ain't going on any plane. You're not flying. You have 10% kidney function left.

And basically we entered the doctor's office and the doctor said, you ain't going on any plane. You're not flying. You have 10% kidney function left.