Esther Perel

And it means you can enter the world of imagination and where the rules are different. And every child at this moment, you know, around the Ukrainian crisis, you can see when kids are still able to play, it is the moments when they are not in hypervigilance. It is an essential survival skill. Underrated. And from that place came...

And it means you can enter the world of imagination and where the rules are different. And every child at this moment, you know, around the Ukrainian crisis, you can see when kids are still able to play, it is the moments when they are not in hypervigilance. It is an essential survival skill. Underrated. And from that place came...

Where should we begin?

Where should we begin?

It's ascension.

It's ascension.

Yeah, that's a terrible way to think. I mean, and everybody knows it. If you give the best of yourself at work, if you bring the leftovers home, if when you come home, you say, I've given everything I had. Now I'm just putting my feet on the table. I just need to chill. I don't want to make any effort. You know, slowly your relationship degrades, period. And then there's all kinds of ways it ends.

Yeah, that's a terrible way to think. I mean, and everybody knows it. If you give the best of yourself at work, if you bring the leftovers home, if when you come home, you say, I've given everything I had. Now I'm just putting my feet on the table. I just need to chill. I don't want to make any effort. You know, slowly your relationship degrades, period. And then there's all kinds of ways it ends.

None of them are particularly joyful. And basically, if people were able to put a little bit of creativity, attention, attention into their relationships as they do with their customers or their guests, relationships would be doing a lot better and my profession would be seeing a lot less people. I mean, there's no doubt. And why are people so lazy, so complacent, so unimaginative?

None of them are particularly joyful. And basically, if people were able to put a little bit of creativity, attention, attention into their relationships as they do with their customers or their guests, relationships would be doing a lot better and my profession would be seeing a lot less people. I mean, there's no doubt. And why are people so lazy, so complacent, so unimaginative?

with their relationships at home. I mean, I see so many people when you, like here, you know, you're not taking out your phone. You're not, you're looking at me, you're paying attention on occasion, you look for your questions and where we go, but basically you're with me. But at home, if you do this or this.

with their relationships at home. I mean, I see so many people when you, like here, you know, you're not taking out your phone. You're not, you're looking at me, you're paying attention on occasion, you look for your questions and where we go, but basically you're with me. But at home, if you do this or this.

You know, and then when the person tells you something really important, you go, uh-huh. Uh-huh. You know, and you're kind of there, but not present. And that's the beginning of a kind of modern loneliness, actually, is that this idea that you can share something really important to someone who is half there, half there.

You know, and then when the person tells you something really important, you go, uh-huh. Uh-huh. You know, and you're kind of there, but not present. And that's the beginning of a kind of modern loneliness, actually, is that this idea that you can share something really important to someone who is half there, half there.

And I think that that's what's happening with a lot of younger people these days, is that they experience a lot of half there-ness, right? And that begins to cultivate a real sense of loneliness that is to do not with I'm physically alone, that has to do with do I matter? Who hears me? Who cares? Who pays attention? Who notices me? So sometimes the advice is very banal.

And I think that that's what's happening with a lot of younger people these days, is that they experience a lot of half there-ness, right? And that begins to cultivate a real sense of loneliness that is to do not with I'm physically alone, that has to do with do I matter? Who hears me? Who cares? Who pays attention? Who notices me? So sometimes the advice is very banal.

It's to tell people, put your freaking phone down. Take an hour and put your phone down.

It's to tell people, put your freaking phone down. Take an hour and put your phone down.

Huh?

Huh?