Esther Perel

I want to stay with this person because despite what happened, there was a very good relationship.

We have a beautiful life together, a tight family.

I do not want to tell the people that are in my family because I don't want them to dislike him, even though he's the one who's hurt me so much.

And I don't want them to pity me for having decided to stay with him because that's not the place from which it's coming.

Some of these are paradoxes that you manage, these relational dilemmas.

They are not problems that you solve.

Take chauvinism.

is a way of thinking that sees technical solutions for every complex social problem.

And I say that many of these complex social problems don't have a solution.

They are just paradoxes that you will live with and find meaning in and make sense of.

Why do we cheat?

And why do happy people cheat?

And when we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean?

Is it a hookup?

A love story?

Paid sex?

A chat room?

A massage with happy endings?

Why do we think that men cheat out of boredom and fear of intimacy, but women cheat out of loneliness and hunger for intimacy?

And is an affair always the end of a relationship?