Esther Perel

On some level, if I want you to take me as is without the slightest reaction from you that says I am different or I want something else or I'm another person, period.

It also implies that I can only see myself as a perfect little person.

And we are flawed people.

The reason there is no inconditionality is because we are flawed.

We engender reactions in other people.

We make other people mad, sad, cold, hot, you know, funny, irritated, frustrated.

We have an effect on others.

And they have an effect on us.

And part of love is the ability to accept that, not to eliminate that.

And I will remind you, it is a business product.

You know, because you can see when you ask the question, it's sometimes like, it's as if somebody said, you know, should she go back to that person, him, her, them?

Should they go back?

And so then you ask, well, it depends.

What are they doing?

You know, how have they answered?

How have they, you know, ah, they've been repeatedly lying.

You know, should the partner stay?

What does it mean for this partner to stay?

Here's the nuance that human beings get into because they handle complexity.

And this is a complex moment, right?