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That's a little bit of the Jim Camp approach, too, from Start With No back in 2002. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's when I first started reading Camp's book back then, opened my eyes a lot. And Jim's approach was, you can say no to me at any time. And people are more collaborative if they feel like they're not being forced. Jim called that the right to veto.

That's a little bit of the Jim Camp approach, too, from Start With No back in 2002. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's when I first started reading Camp's book back then, opened my eyes a lot. And Jim's approach was, you can say no to me at any time. And people are more collaborative if they feel like they're not being forced. Jim called that the right to veto.

As long as I preserve your right to veto your autonomy, you're more likely to say yes because you don't feel shoved into it. And then consequently, you have fewer regrets. if you feel like you made a decision voluntarily. So just saying, look, man, just tell me this doesn't work, that's cool. And it's a really soft way to say, take it or leave it.

As long as I preserve your right to veto your autonomy, you're more likely to say yes because you don't feel shoved into it. And then consequently, you have fewer regrets. if you feel like you made a decision voluntarily. So just saying, look, man, just tell me this doesn't work, that's cool. And it's a really soft way to say, take it or leave it.

Yeah, it's really helpful to slow down. I mean, I slow down on purpose because you want your brain to continue to process. And most of the time, people are either talking or processing, or they're talking or waiting, and there isn't that much processing. So if I slow down and I work my way through it, more thoughts will occur to me. So, yeah, I'm trying to sit back. I'm trying to process.

Yeah, it's really helpful to slow down. I mean, I slow down on purpose because you want your brain to continue to process. And most of the time, people are either talking or processing, or they're talking or waiting, and there isn't that much processing. So if I slow down and I work my way through it, more thoughts will occur to me. So, yeah, I'm trying to sit back. I'm trying to process.

That's trainable. Learnable, I mean, there's a couple of books out there that claim that everything's learned. The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle, I think, contends that everything is learned. Like you can't learn to be seven feet tall. You can't learn to be as big as Shaq. But there are a lot of people as big as Shaq that were never in the NBA. So he learned something.

That's trainable. Learnable, I mean, there's a couple of books out there that claim that everything's learned. The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle, I think, contends that everything is learned. Like you can't learn to be seven feet tall. You can't learn to be as big as Shaq. But there are a lot of people as big as Shaq that were never in the NBA. So he learned something.

But you can learn to slow down. You can learn to listen more. Some people are horrified at slowing down or even gaps in the conversation at all. For very different reasons. Some people are horrified because when they go silent, they're indicating anger. So if the other side goes silent, they must be angry. Well, you know, you sit down and talk to Elon Musk, ask him a question.

But you can learn to slow down. You can learn to listen more. Some people are horrified at slowing down or even gaps in the conversation at all. For very different reasons. Some people are horrified because when they go silent, they're indicating anger. So if the other side goes silent, they must be angry. Well, you know, you sit down and talk to Elon Musk, ask him a question.

You're going to have to wait till he answers because he's going to think the thing through. He's not angry. He's thinking. Yeah. And then other people, if they're silent, they feel out of control. I got to keep talking. I got to stay in control. So those two types have trouble keeping their mouth shut.

You're going to have to wait till he answers because he's going to think the thing through. He's not angry. He's thinking. Yeah. And then other people, if they're silent, they feel out of control. I got to keep talking. I got to stay in control. So those two types have trouble keeping their mouth shut.

But when you learn how much you can gain and how much more you can think just by slowing down or even having a pause in a conversation. And I've had to teach myself that I'm the type that the assertive that wants to talk all the time to stay in control. But when I learned how much more I could get by slowing down and listening, then I like, oh, this is a better way.

But when you learn how much you can gain and how much more you can think just by slowing down or even having a pause in a conversation. And I've had to teach myself that I'm the type that the assertive that wants to talk all the time to stay in control. But when I learned how much more I could get by slowing down and listening, then I like, oh, this is a better way.

So, yeah, I do it intentionally.

So, yeah, I do it intentionally.

Well, which part?

Well, which part?

Yeah, right. So judging a book by its cover. You make people feel like they're a commodity. You might be right. See, here's the thing. People are afraid to be wrong. Like, all right, so you can and should make somewhat of an assessment of people based on what you see. But then take that as a hypothesis and an experiment. And then there's always much more interesting stuff underneath people.

Yeah, right. So judging a book by its cover. You make people feel like they're a commodity. You might be right. See, here's the thing. People are afraid to be wrong. Like, all right, so you can and should make somewhat of an assessment of people based on what you see. But then take that as a hypothesis and an experiment. And then there's always much more interesting stuff underneath people.