Expert Guest

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164 appearances 7 recordings 4 series first heard Nov 2024 last heard May 2025

Expert Guest’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Home Service Expert Podcast · Mastering the Art of Negotiation with Chris Voss · 13 Dec 2024 podcast

Now, there's a pretty good chance the first person they talk about or the reasons they admire them, they may be answering what they think you want to hear. But that exercise is exhaustive enough that by the time they get into the second person, they're giving you real answers. And then they're going to start to tell you what their core values are without realizing it.

And you run them all the way through it. You are going to find out really quickly what they're about. And I've heard enough stories. I think it might have been the haunted house Ouija board guy. Yeah. His answer was, you know, I admire the future of me. So first of all, it's a bullshit answer. Secondly, that's a ripoff of something Matthew McConaughey said.

And so what you've just told me is you're a plagiarist. Yeah. You're a copycat. You don't have an original thought. You admire an answer that seemed to be completely self-absorbed and self-centered. And that ain't the truth. But I didn't even bother going all the way through The three, three things in the three, because I already know this at this point in time, this dude is up.

You know, sometimes I wonder like, what are the chances? I haven't already heard that. Sometimes people talk to me and they hit me with a cliche thing. That's a rip off of somebody else's story. And I've been around long enough. I probably heard the story.

So we got into some other stuff and I just said to myself, all right, so this dude's really interesting. I want to find out more about this guy. You know, how did he get, how did he get to this point? And we can abandon this because the job interview is over now and I'm just curious about using human bank, but that's kind of what I'm going for.

And then I just got to ask my gut instinct, are they ambitious? Are they competitive? And the more you just ask yourself that gut, then the more accurate it's going to be. No interview process is flawless. You tell people we work hard. And then I've had people say, you guys are working harder. And I, yeah, this job's harder than I thought.

And my answer to them when we have a conversation is, what promise did I break? Because I promised you we were going to work hard. And in point of fact, if you come to work for me, I really believe the sky's the limit. If I got to create an entire division of my company that you could head, You know, what would make you happy? You know, how could I grow you into that?

And there's anybody that's going to say that, yeah, you know, sounds great. Yeah, I'd love to do that. And I'll say pressure makes diamonds, but you got to want to be a diamond. Yeah. And then when they really get into it, they go like, ah, this is harder than I thought it was going to be. I'm like, okay, we're just a bad fit. That's all.

Where you want to be is not that would make you happy someplace other than here. So I'm trying to guess at it to answer your question. I'm guessing at it and I'm saying things to people up front in case I missed where I can say, what promise did I break? I promise you we're going to work hard. I promise you we're going to help people.

I promise you there's no limit to what you could do if you're willing to work hard. And when they say, yeah, this is harder than I thought, I'm like, okay, I didn't lie to you.

Right. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. I hadn't thought of it in those times where you see what their home life is like. When they come to work, are they trying to overcome what they went through over the last 8 to 10 hours? Or were they launched over the weekend?

Right, right, right. Guy running a service business. Yeah. Entrepreneurial guy and tracking his numbers. And he just had all his salespeople switch from yes to no questions. You know, again, do you disagree? Are you against this? Does this look like a bad idea? Have you given up on, is now a bad time? You know, have you given up on finding the man of your dreams? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the dating advice, right? Yeah. But I think at one point in time, probably what you're referring to, getting people to say yes, the yes momentum, I think it was probably was valid at one point in time. And everybody in sales has learned it. And many of the people that have learned it went from making no sales to some sales.

You know, again, they went from being an F student to a C student. but they had no idea they were only a C student because if you're an F student and you become a C student, suddenly life looks great. Like if you're an F student in college, they throw you out. If you're a C student, you get a degree. You go from totally failing to get a degree and you measure yourself by the progress you made.

And then you start to measure yourself by the people around you. And most people are handed in C level performance. So you're like, I'm doing okay. You know, I'm following best practices. But there are those that are exploiters, and there's a number of things. Derek Gaunt on my team starts talking about common ground is weaponized against us. The word yes is weaponized against us.

There are a lot of things that people that don't care about us, they found it to be successful. The throat cutters, people are just trying to take the money out of our pockets and not care about the long-term relationship. And so then you start getting stung by it. And I don't know anybody that hasn't been stung by the yes momentum. Talked into something, yeah, I'd like to make more money.

Yeah, you know, yeah, I would like to stay in a five-star resort whenever I wanted to, anywhere in the world. Yeah, I'd love that. And the next thing you know, they're saddled with something that's killing them. And they didn't really realize it was, consciously it was the yes momentum that got them, but their gut instinct processed it. Gut instinct is an extremely accurate supercomputer.

And listening to your gut versus listening to your amygdala fear centers is kind of the struggle that we all go through. But you get stung a couple of times with the yes momentum, then you're going to be suspicious of everybody that tries to get you to say yes. The same way a battered child is suspicious of every adult the minute their hands raise. Some adults are trying to give them a genuine hug.

And a hug is actually good for you. And if you're that adult who's trying to give a battered child a hug, it doesn't matter what your intention is. The battered child is still going to react to their bad experiences. And that's why I think this yes momentum stuff is so harmful. Like across the board, I'm seeing it.

No matter who it is, as soon as you start trying to get somebody to say yes, people's guard starts to go up. So that's a Pavlovian response. The stupid idea is since you always feel safe and protected when you say no, then it clears your mind. You're more willing to listen. Any parent that's got a teenage kid, dad, can I? No. But then you start to listen after having said no.

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