Fergus Crawley

I could think but I couldn't really move.

I was in a puddle of my own vomit and the first thought I had was that I was an idiot because I'd failed.

Like the one initiative I'd taken to not feel this way hadn't worked, you idiot.

That was how I felt at the time.

And this is the stuff that scares me so much now because I didn't write a note or anything.

I didn't think about the consequences really.

I was slumped up against my bed and there were footsteps outside of the door afterwards.

And I was kind of there sort of...

Limp.

I wasn't completely incapacitated, but I wasn't moving well physically.

I was kind of in and out a little bit.

And the thoughts I do remember then were, they were all self-destructive.

It wasn't, you've made a mistake.

It was, you've done this wrong.

And it took a couple of days after that for me to start to see reality.

And it actually took... So I was fortunate enough to be a part of a documentary with Roman Kemp in 2021 called Our Silent Emergency.

And he was exploring why his friend Joe had died by suicide.

And I was the segment in that documentary as the survivor.

So he spoke to me about that.

And he wanted to, from my perspective, understand how I framed...