Francesca Rudkin

Fantastic to have you here today to talk through all these things.

We might go here, there and everywhere, but I think we'll get there in the end.

That's a very good point because I was resting all my faith in what other people think of me as none of my business, but maybe it is depending on who the person is.

Yes.

And also, you know, if you're having a bad day and you might lash out, but we would probably –

apologise quite quickly.

Like you've got to have that, if you're the person giving that, you'd usually say, I'm sorry, I'm just having a really terrible day or something.

So I guess this thing, this process that you've just described means that the person receiving the information does have to take a beat.

I agree completely.

And then they move out of home and they reflect on having their own life somewhere else and they reflect on their home life or bring something back to you and you're like, I wish you'd said something at the time.

Oh, I couldn't agree more.

I think that is where the buck stops and it's beyond your rational brain because I think that is where it just swirls around in your head so much.

And it's that fairness thing and all of those things.

And I think we do have to recognise that there are occasional, definitely, situations where

you need to seek outside help.

And you're also entitled to say, stop, you don't need to tell that person, but tell yourself that there is that option of going to get professional help to work that through psychologically and physiologically because it has impacts on everything.

That's really interesting to me, just something that's going on in my life at the moment, not me personally, I'm not being bullied.

And just on the side,

And that's what I liked about something you've said, I think, is regardless of the responses you may have developed to this point, you're not locked into those behaviours.

So that's talking about the patterns over our lifetime, the familial patterns, patterns when you've gone out on your own, all of those kinds of things.