Fred Luskin

hey, I got a really crappy deal with this wife and she messed up my life for six months. That's a healthy story for a month or so. You know, it's like that's how your brain rebalances and reorganizes itself from the disruption. And it can't go directly to, oh, let's think about this. I didn't make a good choice in marriage. She gave me lots of clues.

hey, I got a really crappy deal with this wife and she messed up my life for six months. That's a healthy story for a month or so. You know, it's like that's how your brain rebalances and reorganizes itself from the disruption. And it can't go directly to, oh, let's think about this. I didn't make a good choice in marriage. She gave me lots of clues.

I didn't do X. You can't reorganize coherently right away. So she's a terrible human being is a wonderful way to reorganize. The grievance story is a practice for how it is we're going to explain to ourselves what happened and what's an appropriate response for us to deal with it. The practice of it is very useful short term and destructive long term.

I didn't do X. You can't reorganize coherently right away. So she's a terrible human being is a wonderful way to reorganize. The grievance story is a practice for how it is we're going to explain to ourselves what happened and what's an appropriate response for us to deal with it. The practice of it is very useful short term and destructive long term.

I didn't do X. You can't reorganize coherently right away. So she's a terrible human being is a wonderful way to reorganize. The grievance story is a practice for how it is we're going to explain to ourselves what happened and what's an appropriate response for us to deal with it. The practice of it is very useful short term and destructive long term.

When Dana wanted a promotion. She turned what she wanted into an expectation. I want to be promoted. She turned it into, I have to be promoted. When somebody gets married, they have a hope, you know, I want my partner to be faithful. but they change it into they have to be faithful. That is a rule for somebody else's behavior that you actually don't have power to enforce.

When Dana wanted a promotion. She turned what she wanted into an expectation. I want to be promoted. She turned it into, I have to be promoted. When somebody gets married, they have a hope, you know, I want my partner to be faithful. but they change it into they have to be faithful. That is a rule for somebody else's behavior that you actually don't have power to enforce.

When Dana wanted a promotion. She turned what she wanted into an expectation. I want to be promoted. She turned it into, I have to be promoted. When somebody gets married, they have a hope, you know, I want my partner to be faithful. but they change it into they have to be faithful. That is a rule for somebody else's behavior that you actually don't have power to enforce.

If you wake up in the morning and you say, hey, I got a big day today, it has to be sunny and it's pouring, most normal people recognize they don't control the weather. But when an adult person does something that you don't want, we bypass that, well, a normal adult person doesn't have to do what I want.

If you wake up in the morning and you say, hey, I got a big day today, it has to be sunny and it's pouring, most normal people recognize they don't control the weather. But when an adult person does something that you don't want, we bypass that, well, a normal adult person doesn't have to do what I want.

If you wake up in the morning and you say, hey, I got a big day today, it has to be sunny and it's pouring, most normal people recognize they don't control the weather. But when an adult person does something that you don't want, we bypass that, well, a normal adult person doesn't have to do what I want.

But when we create unenforceable rules, we start thinking an adult separate from me has to do what I want. They have to give me a promotion. They have to stay my friend. They have to be faithful. Or also, they have to talk to me. Those unenforceable rules are rigid rules. like substrates in our thinking that when they're broken, cause us to have all sorts of exaggerated distress.

But when we create unenforceable rules, we start thinking an adult separate from me has to do what I want. They have to give me a promotion. They have to stay my friend. They have to be faithful. Or also, they have to talk to me. Those unenforceable rules are rigid rules. like substrates in our thinking that when they're broken, cause us to have all sorts of exaggerated distress.

But when we create unenforceable rules, we start thinking an adult separate from me has to do what I want. They have to give me a promotion. They have to stay my friend. They have to be faithful. Or also, they have to talk to me. Those unenforceable rules are rigid rules. like substrates in our thinking that when they're broken, cause us to have all sorts of exaggerated distress.

You could say that. Let's just say it was a relationship challenge. But yes, there was one situation where she demanded that I do something in her home, and it was absolutely trivial. It was something along the lines of, don't put this back here. You have to put it back here. And she was yelling at me because I had put it back in the wrong place.

You could say that. Let's just say it was a relationship challenge. But yes, there was one situation where she demanded that I do something in her home, and it was absolutely trivial. It was something along the lines of, don't put this back here. You have to put it back here. And she was yelling at me because I had put it back in the wrong place.

You could say that. Let's just say it was a relationship challenge. But yes, there was one situation where she demanded that I do something in her home, and it was absolutely trivial. It was something along the lines of, don't put this back here. You have to put it back here. And she was yelling at me because I had put it back in the wrong place.

So she had an unenforceable, sons-in-law can't put things back where I don't want them put back. And then I had an unenforceable rule. Moms-in-law can't talk to me like this. I heard myself saying it. In my mind, you can't talk to me like this. And I ran out the front door. I literally ran out the front door, ran away from my wife and her family, literally took a run

So she had an unenforceable, sons-in-law can't put things back where I don't want them put back. And then I had an unenforceable rule. Moms-in-law can't talk to me like this. I heard myself saying it. In my mind, you can't talk to me like this. And I ran out the front door. I literally ran out the front door, ran away from my wife and her family, literally took a run

So she had an unenforceable, sons-in-law can't put things back where I don't want them put back. And then I had an unenforceable rule. Moms-in-law can't talk to me like this. I heard myself saying it. In my mind, you can't talk to me like this. And I ran out the front door. I literally ran out the front door, ran away from my wife and her family, literally took a run