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Gabby Windey

👤 Person
3633 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

That's who's looking back in the mirror at me today. What's all over my face besides the pimples staring back at me? A white head. How am I supposed to keep my wife? I'm breaking out. I feel ugly. Because I'm working hard at a new addiction called nicotine pouches. No, I'm not selling them. Maybe I'll bleep that. But everyone knows I'm always looking for a new addiction. I need to feel something.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I need a fix. I need a buzz. As you know, I'm off the cigarettes. I have to protect my lungs from the bronchitis. Yes, I'm still fighting it. Yes, I still have to sleep with a cold diffuser every night with a little eucalyptus peppermint. And if I'm lucky, orange tree months later. So here I am. It doesn't come as easy at first and you have to fight through the breakouts.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I need a fix. I need a buzz. As you know, I'm off the cigarettes. I have to protect my lungs from the bronchitis. Yes, I'm still fighting it. Yes, I still have to sleep with a cold diffuser every night with a little eucalyptus peppermint. And if I'm lucky, orange tree months later. So here I am. It doesn't come as easy at first and you have to fight through the breakouts.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I need a fix. I need a buzz. As you know, I'm off the cigarettes. I have to protect my lungs from the bronchitis. Yes, I'm still fighting it. Yes, I still have to sleep with a cold diffuser every night with a little eucalyptus peppermint. And if I'm lucky, orange tree months later. So here I am. It doesn't come as easy at first and you have to fight through the breakouts.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

But if there's one thing I'm dedicated and I am driven now. And that's all my seven Capricorn placements. Can you believe? No. This? No. I was born into this treachery. Why don't I want to go to the party tonight? Why does it fill me with dread to come face to face with a room full of people at a chic, mind you, location while I'm draped in something equally as chic?

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

But if there's one thing I'm dedicated and I am driven now. And that's all my seven Capricorn placements. Can you believe? No. This? No. I was born into this treachery. Why don't I want to go to the party tonight? Why does it fill me with dread to come face to face with a room full of people at a chic, mind you, location while I'm draped in something equally as chic?

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

But if there's one thing I'm dedicated and I am driven now. And that's all my seven Capricorn placements. Can you believe? No. This? No. I was born into this treachery. Why don't I want to go to the party tonight? Why does it fill me with dread to come face to face with a room full of people at a chic, mind you, location while I'm draped in something equally as chic?

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

How come I can't look forward to it? I don't know. I wish I knew. I wish I could tell you. Maybe because I'm ugly. You can't tell because I put my hair in a high pony, and I put an overlined lip and a gloss on, and now I'm feeling like myself again, so here we go. So here we go. I did cancel my glam because that is equally exhausting. I have to start my day two hours later.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

How come I can't look forward to it? I don't know. I wish I knew. I wish I could tell you. Maybe because I'm ugly. You can't tell because I put my hair in a high pony, and I put an overlined lip and a gloss on, and now I'm feeling like myself again, so here we go. So here we go. I did cancel my glam because that is equally exhausting. I have to start my day two hours later.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

How come I can't look forward to it? I don't know. I wish I knew. I wish I could tell you. Maybe because I'm ugly. You can't tell because I put my hair in a high pony, and I put an overlined lip and a gloss on, and now I'm feeling like myself again, so here we go. So here we go. I did cancel my glam because that is equally exhausting. I have to start my day two hours later.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I will put on the foundation that doesn't match my neck and gives me a cast over my face so I look like Mark Zuckerberg on that boogie board, but... So at some point you have to conserve your energy because of your seven Capricorn placements. I'll do my best. I'll do my best. but I still have to pay my glam fee. Money lost. Money lost either way. But now I get to sip on a Diet Coke.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I will put on the foundation that doesn't match my neck and gives me a cast over my face so I look like Mark Zuckerberg on that boogie board, but... So at some point you have to conserve your energy because of your seven Capricorn placements. I'll do my best. I'll do my best. but I still have to pay my glam fee. Money lost. Money lost either way. But now I get to sip on a Diet Coke.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I will put on the foundation that doesn't match my neck and gives me a cast over my face so I look like Mark Zuckerberg on that boogie board, but... So at some point you have to conserve your energy because of your seven Capricorn placements. I'll do my best. I'll do my best. but I still have to pay my glam fee. Money lost. Money lost either way. But now I get to sip on a Diet Coke.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I was asking my baby, Robbie, what should I do? Why do I feel like this? This is a 12 and a half of Benadryl I took last night. It can't be. She said, no, baby. I think if you record, you'll actually feel better. So here I am today. Today, today with a lot on my mind. naturally as they do.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I was asking my baby, Robbie, what should I do? Why do I feel like this? This is a 12 and a half of Benadryl I took last night. It can't be. She said, no, baby. I think if you record, you'll actually feel better. So here I am today. Today, today with a lot on my mind. naturally as they do.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I was asking my baby, Robbie, what should I do? Why do I feel like this? This is a 12 and a half of Benadryl I took last night. It can't be. She said, no, baby. I think if you record, you'll actually feel better. So here I am today. Today, today with a lot on my mind. naturally as they do.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

As they do, I see Carol every Wednesday with her four eyes looking back at me wondering where the fuck my pleasure centers went. Well, if I knew, well, if I knew I wouldn't be here sitting every Wednesday with the camera so far up my double chin, it doesn't know what to focus on. But I need some insight from my dear friend.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

As they do, I see Carol every Wednesday with her four eyes looking back at me wondering where the fuck my pleasure centers went. Well, if I knew, well, if I knew I wouldn't be here sitting every Wednesday with the camera so far up my double chin, it doesn't know what to focus on. But I need some insight from my dear friend.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

As they do, I see Carol every Wednesday with her four eyes looking back at me wondering where the fuck my pleasure centers went. Well, if I knew, well, if I knew I wouldn't be here sitting every Wednesday with the camera so far up my double chin, it doesn't know what to focus on. But I need some insight from my dear friend.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

And then it got me thinking, what might make the pleasure centers a little more pleasurable? We know how I ended up here. It's the drama. What's going to soften the blow of the childhood that is my past? And I'll tell you, an accessible bed of sorts. Yeah, it doesn't roll off the tongue. It doesn't make it any less efficient. And this is my call, Patton. of the bed.