Gabby Windey

It's literally neighborhood watch.

This is what happens when you give a civilian, when you give a guy a gun who looks like Buzz Lightyear any kind of power.

This is what happens.

These are a bunch of loser plebeians and their mothers never loved them for a reason.

They saw the devil in their black little eyes the second they were born and now they're trying to gain any kind of self-respect back by turning on everybody else and shooting them through the windshield in the head for no reason.

They have fake badges, fake vests, they're all DIY, fake personalities, they're fake.

They cut the coupons online for Hobby Lobby.

There's always some 50% off.

They're still rummaging through some kind of a local newspaper to find a Hobby Lobby coupon.

And they make their vests with assorted crafts like a silver permanent marker and Gorilla Glue and the iron-on letter patches.

They don't even know how to spell ice.

Half of them say I-E-C.

Ike.

And then they make their badges with a seven-plus-year-old police Halloween costume that are also on sale left over from Amazon.

These are ICE agents.

And then they have to permanent marker their last name on it, but it's not quite straight because they can barely write.

And now they say, it's officer to you.

My nephew was wearing that outfit three months ago, and you took it from him and put it on?

in the name of federal agency.

But they get so mad on Sundays because Hobby Lobby's closed and they forgot the double sticky tape to tape their vests just straight on their gray Hanes tee so it doesn't show and it looks like very tailored and it always stays in place when they're videoing a murder they commit.