Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Let's see. Are we going? All right. It looks like it. And welcome back to another episode of Long-Winded. Let me give you... Oh. Who shook that up? Who shook that up? Who's playing a prank on me? Who wanted my bubbles to fizzle over first thing in the morning to give me a problem like I don't already have enough problems since the second I woke up?
6 53 because Robbie had to go to set and I was like this is how you wake me up to say goodbye you don't You try not to wake me up. You give me a nice one of these. I demonstrate multiple times. You give me a full palm with fingertips as if you're giving a sample of your fingertips because you're in trouble. Your fingerprints, you put the whole thing on my back.
You rub in a circular motion from the right to the left very lightly. I'm not sure if you said goodbye in the morning and kiss whatever part of my head you can get to. Don't make me roll over. Don't find my mouth. Just kiss the back of my head. And today she tried, but she said, I couldn't get to your mouth. So she proceeded to wake me up.
Love her. Love her. Okay.
Okay.
Okay, that's a minute and 53 seconds down, so only a million more to go, but let's just get into it already. We're going to start with the Golden Globes because it just happened, and we stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel for our anniversary. We didn't know that the Golden Globes were happening, and this nice lady, shout out to Carolyn, Caroline, She upgraded our room.
They were going to do rose petals on the bed, but we didn't leave the room enough for them to actually turn down our room and do the rose petals. But I'm like, oh my God, I cannot believe that you upgraded our room when Sydney Sweeney was down the hall. That I don't know, but there was a security guard. And Robbie's so nosy, she cannot help herself.
So we literally left the door cracked to see if we could hear any familiar voices. And each time she poked her head out because she did, she wanted to see so bad. I'm like, babe, you run into these people all the time at the award shows that she goes to. Like she was just at Critics Choice. She just can't help herself. Her just like nose is so easy. She's got to know everything.
So she kept poking her head out and the security guard laser laser eyes that are he's I know what you're doing but he seemed frail for a security guard I'm not gonna lie and he seemed too good looking if I were to have a security guard I would need him butt ugly 250 to 300 pounds who maybe looked like he just got out of prison, and he learned a lot in prison, let me tell you.
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Chapter 2: What are the highlights of the Golden Globes looks?
It's like kind of dumb, but it's so funny. It's profound, and I'm so glad she went with it. And he's gorgeous. The pan after him, after she said jerkin', it just validated her joke. Honestly, the cameraman knew what they were doing. His side profile gives us permission to play with ourselves. It was a great pan. It put a button on the joke.
Chapter 3: How did the hosts experience the Golden Globes at the Beverly Hills Hotel?
I mean... Could we ask for more? Um, but okay. Who else? J J law. I wish Nikki Glaser said something about her facelift. I thought that J law was open about it, but she's just open about everything else, including talking shit on lost culture. He says, but I, um, I, before I said, you know, J law has been running her mouth about her on facelift. I naturally Googled it because I'm a,
fact checker, but AI Google said she denied. Even though she's known, she presents herself as this quirky little authentic diva. I mean, she looks gorgeous. She looks insane. That's objective. But you know what? and she doesn't care about me and I'm punching up here. I just don't think she has much sex appeal. I think that's what's missing.
She looks, she looks very demure, very beautiful, very sweet, but it's like, why am I not barking on all fours for her? And that sheer flower dress. I loved the flower dress. I did. Even those nude, like her skin tone, it really went with it. But it's like, You know, we're all J-Law, J-Law, J-Law. But in the depth of our honesty, we know she's not fuckable. But I'll tell you who is. J-Lo.
J-Lo is, you know, I would say, in my humble opinion, J-Lo is more fuckable than J-Law. Even in the worst dress of the night, J-Lo. You know, I say it's the worst dress of the night, which is, but it is something I would have worn maybe present or past. It was like a see-through with the pattern and it's got my name all over it. I'm trying to get away from the usual, but what can you do?
But I would have left that weird calf skirt. It's like a poof out. It's a circle of tulle. It's a skirt for your waist around your calves. It It's a calf skirt. It's a mid-shin skirt. It's a bottom leg flare. And you can see all the tulle. It's like, okay, is this dress like unmade? I don't want to see the tulle. Give us something else.
And I don't even know where to find dresses like that anymore. Maybe like David's Bridal. But it's giving mermaid, which like nothing against, I guess, yeah, yeah, something against mermaid dresses. Okay, I'm just going to be honest. Who else is in the room besides me? And these two lights and these cameras, I can say whatever I want because I'm alone and I prefer to be alone.
But it's giving 2000s. And I hate to be presumptuous, but I just don't even think she can swim. And I can say that because I can't swim either. You know, and I just know my non-swimmer kind. Like, we're not doing the freestyle. If anything, we're doing the breaststroke. Because I'm a lesbian. Selena Gomez, why is she bringing Benny Blanco to these huge red carpets?
He embarrasses her in any public interview. If he came near a red carpet host, Selena would have to put him in a double Nelson headlock in front of E! News with her fur-trimmed dress. She'd have to take those frail little arms and put them around his big head and take them down. And her dress is tailored just right. So with the bend of a knee and a flexion of the hip, oh, her zipper popped.
But she needs to use her hamstrings and her glute, the strongest muscle, to get into the double Nelson. And she only had her last tattered nude Victoria's Secret thong on from junior high for no reason. It's just the one that she picked out of the drawer. We're all guilty.
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Chapter 4: What controversies surrounded the Golden Globes this year?
Maybe because he has rhabdomyelosis because he was running so fast and his muscles started to break down and now he's on dialysis. And frankly, I'm surprised he can even run with that fat ass being weighed down by deprivation, corruption, and a power trip in the trunk. And it's not a compliment in this case, his large load.
And why would you want to flee a scene if you were acting in self-defense? Why would you run so far the other way? It's admitting guilt. Stay there. Obviously, people are going to have questions. Maybe you even want to check on the victim that you just killed and act concerned because you didn't want to do this. It was just an act of self-defense.
But if you run the other way, it implies that you've done something guilty. But what are you afraid of if you've done nothing wrong? I'm sure there's lots to do after you kill someone on the job in the name of self-defense. Why are you going the other way? To run to your mommy? Well, now Renee's kids don't have a mommy. They don't get to run to everyone.
Yes, they do, the other mommy, because they're lesbians, but they don't have Renee. Yeah, so maybe you were admitted to the hospital for, I don't know, an anxiety attack. I'm sure it's probably very panic-inducing knowing that you're a terrible person.
He was probably taken to the hospital for his weekly doses of tea and roids to shoot more innocent lesbians, knowing he will get away with it with absolute immunity. He needs his limitless drug. But it's not only an act of depravity, it's an abuse of power and profiling, but now we're dipping into homophobia. And there's a video of the actual shooting, which I don't know if you've seen.
It's everywhere. But there's like a couple different angles because one was taken by Renee's wife, who was the one who was having words with the ICE agent and like, obviously upset at the ICE agent. Like, please just, like, let my wife go. But she was frantic. She was upset. She was like, I can only imagine what Robbie would have to say to a police officer.
But, like, Renee was trying to really stay calm. She, like, rolled down the window and was willingly talking to them while they were walking beside her. And it's like... It's okay. Like, I'm not mad at you. Kind of like, please just let me go. And trying to de-escalate the situation. Because she has every right to be scared now that her, like, car is surrounded.
Like, she's trying to de-escalate and do what she can. She knows her car is surrounded. So she's just trying to, like, think on her feet and do everything. And she didn't, you know, pedal to the metal towards the ICE agent like she could have.
But there was another video taken by an ICE agent who wasn't doing his job or calling for backup or maybe preparing to get in his car ready to chase her because she's in her car and actively wanting to get away. Like... And the ICE agent who shot Renee was also taking a video of her. So you want to get your, I guess, your proudest moment of shooting an innocent person on camera.
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