Gabby Windey

It's the devil shaped like a 12-prong dildo that's coming for your health of your previously beautiful gams that go all the way up, don't they?

They just go right all the way up.

Not anymore.

They're transforming.

So I finally got the flash of blaster in the mail after days of impatient excitement and checking the shop app and checking the shop app is supposed to be delivered two days ago.

When's it gonna be here?

I need to save my legs.

I can't work out anymore.

This is going to give me the possibility of perfect legs and no lumps or bumps peeking out of my thong bikini on the beautiful beach of Venice, California ridden with sewage.

But you know what?

My cheeks don't judge.

And the dimples don't hide no matter what debris lies near them.

So I read the directions carefully as I am a global leader in devices, just like her website says, have endorsed this fascia blaster.

A global leader.

What's a global leader?

I'm one right now.

I have some across the pond, Switzerland, other countries.

But I love a device.

You know me, I love a self-care and I love a smooth leg and I love to take a sativa edible with a one to three ratio of CBD after having sat in my red light panel with an exfoliation mask for 30 minutes in an intermission of an American spirit.

Oh, and Real Housewives of New York on this is the life I want and try to live.