Gabriel Mizrahi

In her view, it's less important to try not to make your kids anxious and afraid at all, although obviously you should do everything you can to not freak them out for no reason.

But in Dr. Margolis' view, it's much more about, if your kids do become anxious or afraid, how can you help them navigate those feelings?

How can you listen to them?

How can you support them?

How can you help them understand how to work with their anxiety and fear?

That's your job.

I'm sure you would rather your children be a little anxious and not become victims than have zero anxiety and be vulnerable.

And that's actually what Dr. Margolis felt was the real issue in your letter.

Your own trauma, your own anxiety, and how badly you want to control it.

And I get that.

What happened to you and your child is just awful.

But...

Dr. Margolis wondered if the fact that you couldn't stop this from happening might be creating some guilt on your part.

So much of your letter seems to be coming from this place of,

wanting to prevent anything bad from happening to your kids in the past, in the future, which again, of course you do.

But as Dr. Margolis pointed out, you can do everything right as a parent, and something bad could still happen.

Short of, you know, never letting them leave the house ever again, the reality is that you cannot completely protect your children forever.

So, maybe part of what you're coming to terms with is the limit of your ability to protect your kids, and in this specific situation with this organization,

Maybe a sense of powerlessness after the way they responded, which again, so infuriating, so crazy-making.

But that doesn't mean you can't still talk to your kids about all this.