Gabriel Mizrahi

And when you found out that he was lying again, you bounced.

And I would be curious to know what exactly you were running from, if it was to teach him a lesson or if it was just that the feelings in the house were so chaotic, you just needed to get away from them.

But when it became a practical necessity to move back, you did, all of which I get, but it just, there isn't really a clear strategy or stance here.

But then another question is, let's say you get clear on this thing we were just talking about, how much of your hurt is about being cheated on in the past, and how much of it is about your partner lying to you now, and if it's even the same kind of secrecy, let's say you parse that.

and you realize, oh, okay, I'm actually responsible for this piece of my anger, my hurt, not him.

Do you still want to leave?

Do you still feel the need to show him that you can't stay if he's not taking better care of himself?

So I'm asking you that.

That is not a leading question.

Both seem fair.

Both seem possible.

But I raise it because, again, I think part of the confusion here and the inconsistency is actually about not being totally clear yourself.

Right, so her choices are constrained to some degree.

I totally get that.

Okay, so there's another good question.

How much do I prioritize these practical needs right now?

My cat, my money situation, keeping a roof over my head, and how much do I stand on principle?

Of course, and I hate that she doesn't have total freedom right now to make this choice from a place of what's right or what she needs to feel totally safe and respected.

On the other hand, it might clarify what actually does matter most to her right now.

And that cost is what provoking her, hurting her, hurting her.