Gabriel Mizrahi

I just want to acknowledge that there might, I think he should be curious about what she might be going through beyond just, I can't be near you because it reminds me of everything.

And maybe that's another way into rebuilding trust with her for him to say, look, if there's anything I did along the way to make our relationship harder, I'm happy to hear that.

And I'm eager to understand and make things right.

Yeah, and then they're talking.

I also wonder if his older sister, by the way, there's an older sister in the full letter that he didn't elaborate on, but it sounds like there are three siblings.

I wonder if they have a relationship and if maybe she could be helpful here too.

If the younger sister finds it easier to talk to the older sister, maybe one day the older sister could help bring them back together.

Maybe help her see that our friend here is not the true villain or whatever problems they have, they can work out.

Who knows?

Maybe she can host some kind of sibling chat about all of this one day when the time is right.

They might need a third party to work on things.

So once again, as I am ought to do, I will fall on the sword and say that you should strongly consider getting into therapy because we're dealing with wounds and relationships, formative relationships that are very primitive, very complicated.

Clearly, this goes back a long way.

You're also asking about aspects of self that are profound, feeling confident, feeling worthy, feeling like you have a place in the world, feeling secure enough to relate to new people in a way that feels safe.

There's some significant processing and talking and hopefully healing that has to happen here.

There's also some crucial stuff that needs to happen in order for you to rewrite this template.

that probably got created with your mom.

So to learn how to depend on someone who's healthy and consistent, who can give you a very different experience of closeness.

And by the way, that's one of the powerful things about working with a good therapist.

That relational piece is often one of the most healing parts of therapy.