Gabriel Mizrahi

It's not just what you talk about, but whom you're talking about it with and the quality of that connection and the quality of their attention, which can be so different from the influences growing up.

This is going to take some time.

And I would just love for you to have a partner in that.

And 29 is a great age to begin therapy.

You're still young.

And these are crucial years to work on this stuff and still enjoy decades of benefits.

I also hear you that if you can't reconnect with your sister, you at least want to make peace with all this.

And that's also a crucial part of life, knowing what you can change, accepting what you can't, you know, the wisdom of the serenity prayers.

That's an ancient kind of idea.

And that always ends up being a process of grief as we talk about.

I wish that there were a clear playbook for this kind of acceptance, but there unfortunately isn't.

I could use it.

Same.

There's really no rubric for like surrendering.

There's no easy how-to guide for this stuff.

But he's right that that's a part of the equation.

So I find that it usually ends up being more about what you don't do than what you do do, which is yet another source of grief and sometimes even an injury because you have to confront, I can't fix this overnight.

I can't change it.

I can't make this situation anything other than what it is.

I can't make my sister feel differently about me magically.