Gabriel Mizrahi

It's brutal, but knowing when it's time to just allow things to be, that can sometimes get you closer to the progress that you're looking for than actively doing something.

It's a weird paradox.

I would also ask you what exactly you're looking for in wanting to reconnect with your mom beyond just the basic need to have a mom.

What are you hoping to achieve?

What experience are you hoping to have with her?

There's nothing abnormal about wanting a mom in your life, of course, but given the mom you have and all of the data you have about how that might go,

There's probably something more going on here, and that would be good for you to understand.

Are you hoping to try things in a new way and find a different result with her?

If so, what would that give you?

Or are you hoping to not have to live with the sadness anymore, this loss?

Again, perfectly understandable, but if reconnecting with her is a way to avoid that feeling as opposed to building a meaningful relationship with her, which honestly is

does not sound very possible right now.

I would just try to sit with that a little bit before you reach out because I think there might be a few things going on here.

Dear Jordan and Gabe, I've been with my partner for over five years, and he's the most loving, supportive man I've ever been with.

He notices the little things, is always quick to compliment me, and makes me feel truly seen and valued.

Even when he's busy with his phone or video games, I never have to fight for his attention.

He'll stop whatever he's doing to give me his full focus.

He's attentive and affectionate and always puts me first, even with a demanding military job that includes long, physically exhausting hours.

But he doesn't handle stress well and relies on alcohol to cope drinking every day.

While he's never gotten sloppy or out of control, it's frustrating watching him turn to something unhealthy.