Gemma Spake

So if you feel like your options are dwindling, come back two, three, four months, six months.

Also, the reserves are going to be refreshed.

It's going to be a whole new set of people.

People break up all the time.

People suddenly heal from breakups and come back on the apps all the time, back on the market.

The last thing dating apps should make you feel is like your options are limited or scarce because that is what they want you to feel and they want to trap you into spending money and

maybe even settling.

So remember, fun and sexy is your objective.

Dating burnout is so real and it's not sexy and it's not fun.

So take a step back until you feel like you want to give it another try.

There is no rush.

I know, especially as we kind of get into like our late 20s and 30s and even older, like there's such an urgency to find somebody before opportunities and options and doors close.

This is going to maybe be advice you don't want to hear, but I think urgency and panic is the worst thing you can do because it's always going to mean that you make a poorer decision.

Going steadier, slower, having rules for yourself, having practices, rituals around dating is

like treating dating apps like the game and the business model they are is going to make you so much more effective in the long run.

And I think the mindset that has united every single person who I've seen been successful in a dating app is just, I am here to not take this very seriously and I'm here with very low, if not no expectations.

And in that way, I'm actually able to enjoy this.

So I hope this advice has been helpful.

Thank you so much for listening.

Thank you as always to our researcher Libby Colbert for her contributions to this episode.