Gemma Speck

What's the alternative?

Because it actually might not just be self-love.

I think it's going to be, and I know that it's going to be something a little bit more complicated.

So stay with us.

We lose a lot when we hate ourselves because we implicitly feel less deserving.

We implicitly feel less capable and we implicitly feel less lucky.

Now, obviously having a little bit of humility is great and is very, very important.

And I think also

allows us to not seem like an asshole.

But when it is just pure self-hatred, that quickly turns into unconscious self-sabotage.

I did a whole episode on self-sabotage way back when I first started the podcast, so I may need to do a little bit of a refresh.

But self-sabotage is essentially when we protect ourselves from possible failure by creating a

excuses to not try, by delaying a decision, by rejecting ourselves before anyone else gets the chance to do it for us because we unconsciously believe their rejection is inevitable anyways.

Now, it might be that you say to yourself, you know, I won't apply for that job because I probably I'm not going to get it anyways because I'm not worth it.

Like, I'm not going to go talk to that person because they're probably never going to be interested.

I'm not going to post that thing, post the content that I care about.

Launch the business, launch the course, do anything that I actually think is important because then I would have to find out that I didn't deserve it all along.

Then I would be embarrassed.

Then I would be judged when it failed.

That is how self-hatred works.