Gemma Speck

The fact that you do not understand shows how differently you are as people and shows how much this was a them problem, not a you problem.

But let's actually unpack some of the common reasons.

The common reasons why people betray others that have nothing to do with the person themselves.

Firstly, biggest explanation for betrayal of this person is just selfish.

There's a lot of self-interest in the world.

People often betray others to gain power, to gain attention, to gain money.

They might also betray somebody to avoid negative consequences, to protect themselves from harm.

In this instance, the betrayer has placed their own needs above the well-being of others.

They might even feel justified.

Like, you know, well, I'm not actually happy in that relationship, so like, why not?

Or like, that person upset me this one time, so like, I get one chance to get back at them.

This selfishness really stems from a sense of scarcity or a sense of entitlement that their needs are better and need to be more protected than yours.

Next, insecurity.

People commit acts of betrayal because they have low self-esteem.

They might feel like they need to control or manipulate others to feel better about themselves, to avoid rejection, to earn a sense of validation that they so desperately need.

Does this mean they deserve sympathy?

that's up to you.

You can decide because, I don't know, we all have insecurities.

Most of us don't act this way.

I don't know.