Gemma Speck

better with more information especially if it's like institutional betrayal or like a workplace betrayal it's like good to have your evidence and it's good to have things documented and to be like oh other people know and if there's like a legal case like that's very important but especially for like interpersonal betrayal at this stage like the obsessional thoughts are normal try not to feed the beast stage four is anger and sadness during stage four you will find yourself furious

Furious.

Like, deeply, deeply angry at the other person.

I think this is a great sign.

Congratulations.

If you've gotten to the anger stage, congratulations.

this is great.

Because probably for the first half, you've been like, wow, this is just terrible.

Everybody's sad.

Everybody's hurt.

Maybe even making excuses.

And now you are like, I'm ready to fight.

And that person shouldn't have done that to me.

It's when you can see your sense of self-returning.

You might also be angry at the person who told you what happened.

Because you might see that as the source of betrayal, like shooting the messenger, if that's how you found out.

You might be

furious as well at this person for the transference of guilt right they alleviated their conscience by by telling you and so they've passed the guilt onto you like a little baton like now it's your turn to carry this they finally feel relieved

Weird sidebar, if you guys remember the Try Guys, the YouTubers, and the guy, what was his name, Ned Fulmer, who like publicly cheated on his wife, he like did this whole YouTube video with her maybe like six months ago when he was like, oh, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to,

Yeah, did this whole YouTube video of like, I'm going to launch this thing about people's rock bottoms and I'm going to interview my wife who I cheated on for the first episode.