Gemma Speck

And I know that can be a very awkward conversation because sometimes it can feel like holier than thou or like you're scolding them.

Yeah, maybe it will feel like that.

Maybe that's how they will interpret it as well.

But I think it's worth having boundaries around the language that people use with you as a way to also maintain boundaries around the language that

that you use with yourself, especially considering everything we've spoken about today and how important it is.

The fifth thing I would suggest is also just keep an ongoing list of what you like about yourself and add to it as much as possible every day, if not once a week, to almost aggressively prove to yourself you are worth liking and you are worth feeling proud of.

This list tip uses like this simple attentional trick that what we focus on expands.

Think of it like when a biased researcher looks only at evidence that like confirms their hypothesis.

That is what I want you to do.

When we're in the mindset of self-hatred, like that's what's happening in reverse.

We only pay attention to the negative evidence and we think that that must mean it's the truth and that that must confirm everything that our inner critical voice is saying, missing like 50% of the picture.

Flip it, reverse it.

Instead, try to create a really deliberate, ongoing set of reasons or pieces of evidence why you are amazing, why you care about yourself, why you are a productive person, why you deserve to feel proud of your achievements, why you look amazing, why people like you.

It should be like the small granular details that make you who you are.

You make people feel less awkward.

You are observant.

You make people laugh.

Dogs always seem to want to be near you.

I feel like that one's an amazing one.

You keep your word.