Gemma Speck

It's just a thought.

It's not true.

When the thought appears, the self-hating thought, attributing it to something that almost feels outside of you, almost feels like another character that's coming in and interrupting the vibe and like getting in your way, creates cognitive distancing.

It means that you can rationally examine the thought because it doesn't hold as much self-truth as if it was coming from you, all about you, absolutely true.

Instead of fusing with the critical voice and those words that seem to just like appear unconsciously, naming it and giving it an identity just gives you some control.

It gives you enough distance to choose what

whether you want to listen to it, to ask whether this voice is actually yours or whether it is a bully or a panicked younger version of you or a perfectionist teacher or a cruel parent who got in your head way too early for you to have any say in it.

I think something that also helps us have more empathy is to remember that this voice often, the reason it appears is to protect us.

It is trying to keep us safe.

It's trying to encourage us to act in ways that avoid judgment or avoid external criticism.

So a nice practice for this is, yes, call out the voice, give it a name, be like, you're a bully.

Miranda, you're a bully.

Brian.

But also, I know this may sound counterintuitive, thank the voice a little bit as well.

The reason that it came up, the reason that it's here, the reason that it started was because it thought it was helping you.

It thought that it was a way that it could prevent you from being judged or making mistakes.

If it was harsh on you first, then, you know, the world wasn't going to be harsh on you second or at all.

So thanking it, appreciating it, saying like, you've done your job.

Now it's my turn.

I can handle it from here.