Gemma Speck

speaker

6,373 appearances 17 recordings 1 series first heard Jan 2026 last heard 13 Jun

Gemma Speck’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 17 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 4.

Appearances

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The Psychology of your 20s · 425. Why we want people who don't want us back · 4 Jun 2026 podcast

We think that they're an amazing person.

If we like somebody, we obviously have a great opinion of them.

We think they have good taste.

We think they're cool.

So them not liking us feels like we didn't make the cut based on their standards.

We must not be all that good in the eyes of this great individual.

This cuts really deep to the core of our own self-acceptance and worth assessment.

Deep down, if this person has rejected us, we believe that means they must see themselves as better than us or deserving of more or deserving of somebody who is or of having standards that we can't meet.

The thing is, this obviously makes us feel awful, right?

Because we don't feel like we made the cut.

It also creates a strange competitiveness in us whereby if we were to eventually convince them to like us, this would prove that we must be good.

We must be worth something.

That's a great feeling to be striving for.

I fully believe people who are high achievers, very ambitious, very smart, fall a lot harder for unrequited love.

I know I've said it before, it's genuinely a hill I will die on.

You are so used to having to work for anything that you want, to having to put in long hours, to strive.

You may even live by the philosophy that anything worth having won't be easy.

So why wouldn't that be the same for love?

You feel that way for work.

You feel that way in your ambition, at school, in your goals.

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