Gemma Speck

Because it will keep you humble.

It will keep you polite.

It will keep people liking you.

But you can still be humble and polite and not hate yourself.

It's just called self-awareness.

So challenge it on those same practical grounds.

Self-hatred makes a practical argument.

You need me to be a good person.

You are saying to it, actually, no, I don't.

I don't have any evidence that you've actually helped me.

I have heaps of evidence that self-love has helped me, but no evidence for you.

And I know that I can continue being all the things I want to be without needing to rely on you.

I know this is such a commonly said phrase, but you cannot hate yourself into loving yourself and you cannot hate yourself into changing.

All of the psychology says it.

All of the motivational psychology, motivational architecture will say the same thing.

The third step is to give the little main voice a name and an identity.

We spoke about this in our Loving Yourself Will Make You More Attractive episode, which is honestly a great companion episode to this one.

If you're enjoying this ep, you can listen to that one after.

And it sounds silly, but giving that voice a name, giving that horrible, nagging, mean voice a name that tells you that you're embarrassing and you don't look great and you're not smart enough, calling it Kevin, calling it Sarah, calling it Brian, whatever, allows you to separate yourself

yourself from the thoughts that you're having.