Gemma Speck
speaker
6,373 appearances
17 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2026
last heard 13 Jun
Gemma Speck’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 17 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 4.
Appearances
Over time, your brain, like you're in such a heightened state of craving that it feels like genuine attraction.
The anxiety, the obsession, the excitement, it's so intense that intensity obviously registers deeply with our brain and therefore it can be mistaken for actual chemistry and for something that's very, very real to your mind, even if rationally you know it's not.
But what you're often experiencing is not a real connection, it's a loop.
Uncertainty, again, creates anticipation.
Anticipation releases dopamine.
Dopamine increases desire.
The lack of resolution keeps the cycle going.
I just want to really make this a core point.
Your inability to move on from this person, even though you know there's no future, even though you know they don't feel the same way, is not because you lack willpower.
It's because there are insanely powerful chemical loops bringing you back again and again and again, hoping, expecting, wanting a different outcome.
So you are biologically being hijacked by this kind of relationship.
It is a relationship.
There's another reason we want people who don't want us back.
It's the promise of the ultimate self-worth achievement.
if they were to eventually want us back, everyone who has ever rejected us, every bad feeling we have about ourselves, every moment of unrequited love, every second we've doubted ourselves, it would all be proven false.
We would finally have confirmation that we were good enough for somebody, that we can prove ourselves to somebody who initially dismissed us, that we do have value, that somebody does want us back.
The thing is, the person who doesn't want us holds all the power right now.
They hold all the power because we can't give ourselves the validation of being wanted by somebody else, especially not by them.
Only they can give us that.
Of course, we can think that we're great, but we think that they're wonderful.
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