Gemma Speck
speaker
6,373 appearances
17 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2026
last heard 13 Jun
Gemma Speck’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 17 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 4.
Appearances
And once we have this thing, all of our wildest dreams will come true.
This is a big explanation for why we long and why we yearn.
We know we'll never have this thing and therefore it's easy to place all of our hopes and desires and long lost wishes at its feet.
a person, a relationship, especially one we know we cannot have, is like the perfect candidate for this elusive role of representing everything that would fix our lives for us because love is painted that way.
It's something that is everything.
I also think that the very fact that this person doesn't want us makes them mysterious and that mystery means we can create whatever fantasy we want of them, you know?
They're flawless in our minds.
Because we aren't around them as much because we don't have a relationship, we can create whatever fantasy version of a soulmate we want, even if it's not real.
We can build them into whatever we want them to be.
And the sides of somebody that are only revealed in a relationship...
the sides that are kind of ugly or not likeable, those aren't there, and so our obsession only deepens because we believe we found the last person on earth who might actually be perfect.
The idealized version of somebody that you are at a distance from is a lot easier to love and a lot easier to be obsessed with.
The thing is, if you were to get to know them, they probably wouldn't be like that.
But when somebody is distant or unavailable, they remain undefined.
And undefined people can be calm, be present, be seen as anything we want them to be.
So that makes it a lot harder to move on.
There are a few other explanations for why unrequited love keeps us hooked.
Obviously attachment theory is a big one.
I'm not going to talk about it today though because I just feel like we've done so many episodes on it that you can go and find.
I just feel like it's such a big topic.
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