Gemma Speck

Your brain operates best when a story has a beginning, it has a middle or a lesson, and it has an end.

For unrequited love, you don't get the end.

So you have to provide it for yourself in order to then move forward and discover the lesson as to why this particular individual is so desirable to you.

When you give yourself a day to properly, intentionally grieve, be dramatic, even if you don't think you deserve to, just do it.

You're doing something very psychologically sophisticated.

You're taking something abstract and unresolved, which is this connection, this one-sided connection, and you're making it concrete.

You're saying this happened, this was real, and you're giving it a finale.

You are ritualizing something that would otherwise feel very confusing.

You are giving it the ending that you deserve and that your brain needs to clearly see in order to move forward.

Finally, once you've provided yourself with the ending, this is when you can start to reframe the situation from loss into lesson.

And I know that sounds corny, but I think creating an ending is one level of moving forward.

Finding the meaning is the next level and is what allows us to integrate this experience and experience.

Really, it's what allows us to grow as individuals, which probably doesn't sound very meaningful to you right now, but is very important.

Instead of asking, why didn't this work out?

What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with me?

You start asking more constructive questions like, what did this actually reveal about what I need in a future person?

What patterns did this bring to the surface?

What am I being shown about my standards, my attachment style that doesn't sit right with me?

What do I need to concentrate on within before I date somebody else or have another crush?