Gemma Speck

There is no off switch.

You use self-hatred for motivation.

It will eventually demotivate you because inherent in your self-hatred is this feeling that you are not worthy.

You are not capable.

This hard thing that you are trying to do, you actually can't do it.

So on the surface, it might seem that that like self-criticizing voice is helping you improve.

But actually, that same inner voice has a much deeper, more profound, more wounding impact because it's simply, it's just not sustainable.

And we know by now that that same self-hatred will fuel burnout.

It will fuel anxiety.

It will have long-term negative impacts.

There's this really fascinating 2022 study that measured levels of self-hatred

perfectionism and stress in 220 students in the UK.

And this study found that self-hatred is one of, well, is actually the main driver for perfectionist tendencies.

People are rarely perfectionists because they like themselves.

They're perfectionists because they're searching for this final and elusive piece of proof they actually deserve to be here.

And

And that creates an intense and great deal of stress and pressure.

In this way, self-hatred works the same way as any maladaptive coping mechanism.

For example, if you drink a lot to counteract social anxiety, yes, you may feel more confident in the moment.

But the next day, this only fuels your anxiety further.