George Bonanno
speaker
364 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Aug 2025
last heard Aug 2025
George Bonanno’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I think the reason that it became popular because it's sort of a roadmap.
Something like grief has got lots of existential threat involved in it.
We don't think about death very much and life and death.
And suddenly we've lost somebody.
We don't know where they are, what that means.
And this theory provided very clear answers.
Unfortunately, it's far too neat and tidy to actually be true.
And the research has never supported it.
There's not really been any evidence that it's actually what people go through.
And a lot of research that contradicts it.
It does not match the evidence at all.
You know, many people don't go through any of these experiences.
There's a lot of idiosyncrasies to how people cope, how they react to things like the death of a loved one.
And this precision, this sort of sequential perfection, in a sense, doesn't really accommodate it.
And it's ended up, I think...
For all the comfort it might give some people at being a kind of a roadmap, it also causes a lot of harm because when people don't experience those stages, other people then argue that perhaps there's something wrong with them.
They're not doing the grief properly and they're going to suffer more if they don't straighten up and do the stages in sequence.
Yes, absolutely.
I actually recall in my own experience that after my father died, I returned to Colorado where I was living and went back to work right away.
And the people at work kept telling me, you know, you don't have to work.
Showing 161–180 of 364 · page 9 of 19
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