Gianmarco Soresi

Or as I call it, our weekly free yoga class.

And we're walking home to my apartment, and we turn a corner when there was a man there, crumpled gray suit,

He's holding a cardboard box, and in the cardboard box were five kittens.

And entirely unprompted, he launches into a monologue, basically.

He says that he's a funeral director, and he was leaving a service that morning.

He heard some meows by the steps, saw the box, no note or anything, and he thought they were adorable, but his wife was very allergic, so he simply could not keep them.

And I could see where this was going.

So I said to my girlfriend, let's go.

We need to go home.

I have a business meeting.

And she said, you know, can I pet them?

And I said, okay, fine.

So she starts petting them.

Then she starts holding them.

Then she starts naming them.

And I'm like, all right, we gotta go.

So we turn to leave and that's when this guy says, to no one in particular, though very clearly to us, well, if no one adopts him by the end of the day, I'm gonna have to drown him in my pool.

You know, cause those are your only two options in that situation.

And without saying a word, my girlfriend turns, grabs the box, and just gallops off into the sunset.

Not even in the right direction, just like a mother lioness with her cubs.