Gillian Sandstrom
speaker
124 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard 15 Apr
Gillian Sandstrom’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Apr 2026 with 1.
Appearances
I wanted to know, you know, does the number of interactions that people have with weak ties sort of relate to their happiness? So my hypothesis was, you know, given my personal experience, maybe on the days that you have more interactions with weak ties, you feel a little bit happier. So I got students at first and then later just members of the community involved.
to carry around two clickers, sort of in their pocket, two different colors. And every time that they talked to someone throughout the day, they were supposed to click. So one of the clickers was to count their interactions with strong ties. That would be people like you just mentioned, you know, a close friend or family member.
And then the other clicker was to count the number of interactions they had with weak ties.
And as you'd expect, the number of interactions you had with your close others, your strong ties, predicted happiness and feelings of belonging. But also, independently, the number of interactions that people had with weak ties also mattered. So on average, people who tended to have more interactions on a given day
with weak ties tend to be a little happier than people who have fewer interactions with weak ties. But then also regardless of what your personal average is, on a day when you talk to a few more weak ties than you usually do, you tend to be a little happier than you usually are.
So yeah, I was looking at weak ties as having other advantages that maybe hadn't been looked at before. So these well-being benefits and emotional benefits.
I think the difference is actually pretty small. So I think a weak tie, my definition is just someone with whom you have sort of mutual familiarity. So the hot dog lady was a weak tie. The first time I talked to her, she was a stranger. But when we saw each other again and she recognized me and I recognized her, I think at that point she's no longer a stranger. She is a weak tie. Okay.
Right. So I, you know, sort of inspired by the hot dog lady, I thought the closest thing I could think of, you know, I really wanted to study that phenomenon. And I was aware that lots of people have sort of their favorite barista at the coffee shop and people go into the coffee shop and the person knows their name and knows what their regular order is and it makes you feel really good.
And so I really wanted to study that phenomenon. So I asked people, I recruited people walking past a Starbucks in Vancouver, gave them a gift card. And I said, the only catch is that when you go in to buy your coffee, you have to follow some instructions. And some people, the instructions were, you know, when you go in to buy your coffee, just be as efficient as possible.
And I tried to tell people this would be a good thing. The barista's busy and just wants to get through their day and you'd be helping them out. So have your money ready. and avoid unnecessary conversation. I mean, you have to talk to place your order. And then the other group of people, I said, okay, when you go in, try to turn it into a real genuine social interaction.
So smile, make eye contact and have a little chat. And, you know, plenty of people said they do this anyway. And I said, well, just amp it up, you know, do it even more than you usually do. And so people bought their coffee, followed the instructions. And then when they came out, I asked them to fill out a short survey.
And what we found was that people who'd had this just tiny little social interaction, you know, had treated the barista as if they would treat one who knew their name and knew their order. If they had that social interaction, they were in a better mood and they felt more satisfied with their Starbucks experience and they felt a greater sense of connection to other people.
What we find is that after two people talk for the first time, they each tend to think that the other person liked them less than they actually did. So we have this negative voice in our head that says, oh, why did I say that? Why did I not say that? Did they understand me? Did I embarrass myself? And we tend to listen to that negative voice and think that everything went horribly wrong.
But our partner doesn't have that say, you know, they're probably doing the same thing. Right. So they don't even notice the thing that you think went horribly wrong because they're stuck in their own head thinking about what they did wrong. And so I read the abstract that Erica was part of where she was talking about the liking gap. And I thought, oh, I have I have data. We should talk.
And so I reached out to her via email and we've been collaborating ever since. So it's a great example of reaching out to a stranger.
Yes, absolutely. And I think norms and those kind of cultural messages make a huge difference to what we do. I think it's really hard, isn't it? Because it's a very nuanced message that we want to convey because we don't want to make people scared to talk to others, but we do need to be aware of our personal safety.
And I'm not suggesting that people go down a dark alley and start talking to people, but in most situations, if you're in a public place surrounded by other people, there's so many benefits to talking to strangers.
Yes, this was one of the first conversations that I can remember sort of deliberately starting with a stranger. And if I think about it, I've definitely had conversations before then, but this is one that was really memorable to me, I think because it felt like I'd deliberately done it rather than it just sort of happening accidentally.
And so I was on the train in Toronto and it was sort of during the time when all these very fancy cupcake shops were coming out. And this woman on the train had this beautiful, just delicious looking decadent cupcake. And so I couldn't help but ask her about it. Basically, I just wanted to comment on how beautiful this cupcake was.
And so we started talking and I think maybe it was her birthday or something. And she was reminiscing about other birthdays. And she told me that in the past she had gone on a trip to South Africa. And when she was there, she had ridden an ostrich. And, you know, you think about it. How did we get from cupcakes to ostriches? I don't know. And so I was really hooked.
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