Gillian Sandstrom
speaker
124 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard 15 Apr
Gillian Sandstrom’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Apr 2026 with 1.
Appearances
I just thought, this is amazing. Like, I would never have known this if I hadn't talked to a complete stranger.
Yeah, I've learned all sorts of things that, you know, I found interesting. Like, I remember talking to someone on a plane who was from Slovenia who told me that Slovenia is 70% forest. And I thought, OK, someday I need to go to Slovenia because that sounds awesome. Forests are a great place for an introvert, right?
I remember talking to someone on the bus out at the university who told me that there was a region in China where the majority of people, or there was a huge number of people who have red hair like me. And I went home and Googled it right away and found that indeed it was true. I have had free vegetables from people. I got a ride from a
a couple once that saved me from having to, you know, the train wasn't running. And so they gave me a ride so that I didn't have to take the bus instead of the train late at night. I was with my husband. I felt very safe about it. Again, not suggesting people get in a stranger's car, but I felt comfortable having talked to them for ages first. I joined a book club after talking to a stranger.
I've talked to all sorts of different interesting kinds of people. I've talked to, you Freemasons. I talked to someone who made theatrical wigs. I've talked to children's book authors and a poet. And I don't know, I've just met all sorts of really interesting people and just had some really interesting conversations and also a lot of just sort of average conversations.
During the pandemic, people generally found ways to stay in touch with the people they were closest to. But with acquaintances, sometimes we don't even know how to reach them. They're just the people that we happen to cross paths with during the course of our day. So because the patterns of our day change, we just didn't see them.
You know, I had Barry at the pet store who would remember me and recognize me and ask about my cats. You know, I wouldn't reach out to Barry at the pet store, would I? I mean, I don't even know how to do that. So I think we've kind of, you know, the pandemic sort of disproportionately affected our relationships with weak ties.
I think that's true. And I think that that has a bigger or maybe different impact than people think. So talking to our close friends, we're probably already watching the same shows on Netflix. We already know all their opinions. we sort of have nothing new to talk about because nobody was able to go out and do new things.
And so I think, you know, it's the weak ties that sort of get us access to new kinds of information or new stories or new adventures. And because we were cut off from them, I think we really missed out on a huge portion of the novelty that we tend to get day to day.
When I was doing my PhD, I used to talk to people on the bus all the time. And it wasn't a common thing to do. You don't talk to people on the bus. So when I would do that, I think people's original reaction, their initial gut reaction is, do I know you? I think that's, you know, they think maybe that's why you're talking to me. Maybe I've met you before.
And then they realize, oh, I don't know you. And then they think, oh, what is happening here? What do you want? You know, what what is going on? And then I think you get to the third phase, which is just, oh, you're being friendly. Cool. And then you have a nice chat.
So I think sometimes people, you know, it's you have to be aware that there is going to be that awkward moment because unfortunately it is just not the norm. And so people have to sort of make sense of what's going on. But I think if you can be a little bit patient, you You know, you almost always get to that stage where people can accept that you're just being friendly.
I can think of a time not too long ago when I was on the tube in London. And the unwritten rule is that you do not talk to people on the tube. So it's just breaking all of the norms to do it. But I've had some really great chats on the tube, so I just keep doing it. But I remember once being on the tube and turning to the person sitting on my right and trying to start a conversation.
And, you know, she was polite. She, you know, I think I started to say, you know, how are you? Have you had a busy day? And, you know, she responded, but it was very clear from her body language that she just did not want to talk. She was getting out a book and sort of getting herself set up and plugged in, whatever. And so I thought, OK, that's fine.
You know, I don't think we should push ourselves on people. And so I literally turned my head to the person sitting on my left and I started talking to them. And we had a really nice chat. People worry too much about rejection because, first of all, I don't know why that woman didn't want to talk to me.
But, you know, there's a hundred reasons and I could choose to believe that she didn't like me or something about me. But I could also choose to believe that, you know, like I said, maybe she's shy, maybe she's anxious, maybe she just really is reading an amazing book. And, you know, I get it.
So, you know, I can choose to believe something that isn't so personally negative and just, you know, most people do want to talk and, you know, it didn't surprise me that the person on my left was a bit more willing.
I think it helps to sort of pre-think, you know, what might I do if that happened? And it could be things like, well, I'll share something about myself or I'll comment on something that was in the news today or I'll ask them a question or I'll take a breath and just wait a moment and it'll be fine. But I have to make sure I don't panic. That would be a good thing to think about.
I saw this man with a net, and he was scooping up fish. And I thought, what in the heck is he doing? And so I went up and I asked him, I said, what are you doing? And he said he lived nearby, and he said, you know, this happens sometimes. We get a heavy rain, and the fish sort of wash downstream, and they get stuck somewhere, and then the water stops. goes down and they're in big trouble.
So I'm just, you know, catching the fish and moving them to somewhere where they're safe. And I thought, oh, this is amazing. This guy's a fish hero. And what a cool story, you know? And so we continued talking and the conversation shifted away from the fish and You know, it was early days in the pandemic, so inevitably we ended up talking about that.
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