Glennon Doyle

And for the first time I could see my daughter's eyes go dark.

Like I could see something blocking or hardening.

I don't know how to explain it.

Like dulling, dimming, nothing.

I kept going, but I noticed it.

Okay.

And it stayed with me for like

And I couldn't, I was like, oh my God, I just saw, I saw the effect of me passing that crap on to her.

And so a few days later, we went to dinner and I sat with her and I said something like, okay, so here's the thing.

Your mom, I have made this kind of like defense mechanism or this behavior that I do when I get scared.

And that thing is judgment.

And so I think that if I'm making a case against someone that you will stay away from them.

And so it's my attempt to protect you, but it's not protecting you.

It's like putting my dirty glasses on your clear eyes because I don't want you to be like me.

I want you to be like you.

Your way is better.

I want you to be open.

I want you to let people in.

I want you to trust yourself enough that if they cross a boundary, you can stop it.

You don't have to cut them off at the pass.