Gordon Flett

Yes, it does.

I think especially for young people and perhaps older people as well, that the feeling of not mattering is used as a self-evaluative cue.

So you have the self-criticism and even self-hatred, but you're also confronted with, hey,

My life's not going the way it's supposed to go, and it must be something about me.

And what happens is, sadly, people internalize what they see as the messages in their life so that they can now not matter to themselves.

So the key that I try to say to younger people is know that when you're going to get this, you're going to be getting it through messages on the internet, social media.

The key is not to internalize it.

I think it's a detachment.

Sometimes people are carrying around an anger or resentment.

You know, how can they treat me like this?

And that will spill over in terms of daily interactions where there'll be a low level of anger or hostility.

And we did show in some of our research on this with just self-report measures that when asked to rate themselves in terms of daily experiences, that those with a higher level of antimattering said they had more conflict and less positive engagement with other people.

And, you know, what would happen if you're very sensitive to that is then you'll become more removed from other people and more aloof.

And you might actually be generating some of those interactions by people saying, why is this person being so standoffish to me?

And remember that it's an interaction between two people or more in a dyad.

And, you know, you can generate your own stress by the way that you're responding to how you think other people are seeing you.

Yeah, and it can go on to the point where somebody can feel so isolated and alone.

This is a big thing about that mindset and that interaction pattern is that there are some people who then say, I don't matter to anyone.

And, you know, in fact, they do, but this is what they've convinced themselves of.

So that's why it's critical that one caring person at least shows them that they do matter so they at least don't go into the I don't matter to anyone mode and can start to look at things in a more differentiated way.