Grace Beverley

And like, as we were saying before, it does feel like the real risk is not following the path that you think is made for you because you're worried about other people.

Because at the end of the day, it doesn't affect them.

And I think this with my career a lot too, just because when I was starting on Instagram, it was so embarrassing because it just was like so far from like what people were doing.

There have been so many things I've done since that feel embarrassing.

Like sometimes when I'm posting, I'm like, yeah, there are people from school who follow me.

I'm just like, oh, they're supposed to be like, oh, that's nice.

And I just, I don't know, if you spend any more time thinking about those people, you're spending less time thinking about yourself and your own trajectory, which sounds like narcissistic.

But it's kind of like, okay, well, if this is me making a decision for me in my life and my trajectory and my career, surely what it does for me is the important question, not what other people think of it.

And I just think there have been so many people who've come on this podcast and be like, I did this one random thing or this one really embarrassing thing and that's what led to XYZ.

And fear is just holding so many of us back from them.

yeah god it's so cringy isn't it no but like I feel like everything worth doing is on the other side of doing something difficult or cringe or that's gonna make you feel like oh I'm gonna make you nervous like whatever it might be yeah and I feel like too many people are held back by the fear of being perceived and it's like you're gonna be perceived anyway and you might end up being perceived as someone who's done nothing because you did nothing because you were so worried about like everyone's gonna think some shit anyway yeah

No matter what you do, no matter how palatable you try and be to everyone, there's going to be someone who thinks you're embarrassing.

I really love that episode with Sophie we talk about this type of thing a lot so if you haven't listened to it then do go back and listen she talks a lot about starting your own thing online and particularly anything creative which I feel like is particularly useful around this type of thing where you probably have to try a lot more publicly than maybe in other industries

Now going on to step two, this is to redefine cringe as evidence of growth.

The reason for this is because the feeling of cringe is usually a signal that you are stretching yourself beyond your current identity.

Psychologists actually talk about identity-based fear, where actually the discomfort of acting in a new way feels threatening because it does not align with how you've previously seen yourself.

so if you've always been the quiet one speaking up will feel cringe if you've never been the creative one posting content will feel cringe but that discomfort is not proof that you should stop it is proof that you are expanding the problem is that both feel equally uncomfortable and the easiest thing to do is just to stop which obviously makes sense it's the path of least resistance but that's not going to get you anywhere you actually want to get to in your life

I can promise you that every founder, creator, public figure, or successful person has a deeply embarrassing archive at the beginning.

The difference between those who succeed and those who do not is genuinely not all about talent.

It is tolerance for awkwardness and failure, particularly at the beginning, particularly very publicly.