Grace O'Malley
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
All right. So I'm moving to Nevada. You might have to go to Nevada to get it.
All right. So I'm moving to Nevada. You might have to go to Nevada to get it.
All right. So I'm moving to Nevada. You might have to go to Nevada to get it.
Yeah, a mystical pussy.
Yeah, a mystical pussy.
Yeah, a mystical pussy.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's like the prize. Yeah, the Mecca.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's like the prize. Yeah, the Mecca.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's like the prize. Yeah, the Mecca.
Clinical. Okay. So it's routine. It's like an appointment.
Clinical. Okay. So it's routine. It's like an appointment.
Clinical. Okay. So it's routine. It's like an appointment.
Were you looking for lust and love?
Were you looking for lust and love?
Were you looking for lust and love?
I thought you were looking for just like a wet willy. No.
I thought you were looking for just like a wet willy. No.
I thought you were looking for just like a wet willy. No.
You're going to give her a pep talk the next time you go in. Like, hey, Annabelle magic.
You're going to give her a pep talk the next time you go in. Like, hey, Annabelle magic.
You're going to give her a pep talk the next time you go in. Like, hey, Annabelle magic.
So much better than this. You could be so much more. Oh, wow. That sure is something.
So much better than this. You could be so much more. Oh, wow. That sure is something.
So much better than this. You could be so much more. Oh, wow. That sure is something.
Have you ever spent a night in jail?
Have you ever spent a night in jail?
Have you ever spent a night in jail?
So that's like exactly that. How could you get – Right. How could you get off? That feels like jail.
So that's like exactly that. How could you get – Right. How could you get off? That feels like jail.
So that's like exactly that. How could you get – Right. How could you get off? That feels like jail.
With just a little silk.
With just a little silk.
With just a little silk.
That's kind of crazy.
That's kind of crazy.
That's kind of crazy.
Silky jail. I would go to silky jail.
Silky jail. I would go to silky jail.
Silky jail. I would go to silky jail.
Do you have a mugshot?
Do you have a mugshot?
Do you have a mugshot?
That would be sick merch.
That would be sick merch.
That would be sick merch.
Is that supposed to be you? Damn.
Is that supposed to be you? Damn.
Is that supposed to be you? Damn.
I can't believe neither one of those are me. And then this one's just literally your headshot, not a mugshot.
I can't believe neither one of those are me. And then this one's just literally your headshot, not a mugshot.
I can't believe neither one of those are me. And then this one's just literally your headshot, not a mugshot.
Oh, you're a tiny baby boy in that blue shirt one.
Oh, you're a tiny baby boy in that blue shirt one.
Oh, you're a tiny baby boy in that blue shirt one.
Oh, it was kiddie porn.
Oh, it was kiddie porn.
Oh, it was kiddie porn.
Oh, so it was meow?
Oh, so it was meow?
Oh, so it was meow?
All right, no problem.
All right, no problem.
All right, no problem.
I've got three younger sisters. But I'm the milkman's because I'm a redhead.
I've got three younger sisters. But I'm the milkman's because I'm a redhead.
I've got three younger sisters. But I'm the milkman's because I'm a redhead.
No, I'm dying to, though, because I would like a mugshot.
No, I'm dying to, though, because I would like a mugshot.
No, I'm dying to, though, because I would like a mugshot.
Yeah, it would be good. I think I'd run that thing, like a McDonald's.
Yeah, it would be good. I think I'd run that thing, like a McDonald's.
Yeah, it would be good. I think I'd run that thing, like a McDonald's.
Yeah, and, like, they come to me, and they got to ask, like, oh, do you want red dye number two? You want some lipstick? Because that's what the girls do in there. They go crazy.
Yeah, and, like, they come to me, and they got to ask, like, oh, do you want red dye number two? You want some lipstick? Because that's what the girls do in there. They go crazy.
Yeah, and, like, they come to me, and they got to ask, like, oh, do you want red dye number two? You want some lipstick? Because that's what the girls do in there. They go crazy.
You want me to thread your eyebrows with some... I don't know what they'd use, but I'll find out. And I'll be the head of the market.
You want me to thread your eyebrows with some... I don't know what they'd use, but I'll find out. And I'll be the head of the market.
You want me to thread your eyebrows with some... I don't know what they'd use, but I'll find out. And I'll be the head of the market.
I don't know what that is.
I don't know what that is.
I don't know what that is.
I'm not sure. I could pretend.
I'm not sure. I could pretend.
I'm not sure. I could pretend.
I do not have a boyfriend. You might have said that too.
I do not have a boyfriend. You might have said that too.
I do not have a boyfriend. You might have said that too.
I've never had one and I'm 26.
I've never had one and I'm 26.
I've never had one and I'm 26.
I know. And it's like everyone always does that. And it's like, oh, rats. Like, damn. Every single time I'm like, oh, I should just let that person have that reaction because it is crazy. It is crazy, but I have to address it.
I know. And it's like everyone always does that. And it's like, oh, rats. Like, damn. Every single time I'm like, oh, I should just let that person have that reaction because it is crazy. It is crazy, but I have to address it.
I know. And it's like everyone always does that. And it's like, oh, rats. Like, damn. Every single time I'm like, oh, I should just let that person have that reaction because it is crazy. It is crazy, but I have to address it.
Yeah. When I find that Mr. Special guy, it's going to be real good because I've waited this long, I suppose.
Yeah. When I find that Mr. Special guy, it's going to be real good because I've waited this long, I suppose.
Yeah. When I find that Mr. Special guy, it's going to be real good because I've waited this long, I suppose.
So, yeah, 26 years.
So, yeah, 26 years.
So, yeah, 26 years.
Yeah, my mom's a whore.
Yeah, my mom's a whore.
Yeah, my mom's a whore.
No, no. They don't really flock. You'd be totally shocked that I'm not – I don't really scream fuck me. Like I don't really have fuck me eyes ever. So I think I'm more of like a bro to some people. Like my way of flirting is like misogynistic.
No, no. They don't really flock. You'd be totally shocked that I'm not – I don't really scream fuck me. Like I don't really have fuck me eyes ever. So I think I'm more of like a bro to some people. Like my way of flirting is like misogynistic.
No, no. They don't really flock. You'd be totally shocked that I'm not – I don't really scream fuck me. Like I don't really have fuck me eyes ever. So I think I'm more of like a bro to some people. Like my way of flirting is like misogynistic.
Yeah, just being like, yo, dude, like check out her tits or you can check out mine if you prefer. Yeah. Kind of thing. Yeah.
Yeah, just being like, yo, dude, like check out her tits or you can check out mine if you prefer. Yeah. Kind of thing. Yeah.
Yeah, just being like, yo, dude, like check out her tits or you can check out mine if you prefer. Yeah. Kind of thing. Yeah.
Yeah. So I haven't had luck thus far, hence the male hooker.
Yeah. So I haven't had luck thus far, hence the male hooker.
Yeah. So I haven't had luck thus far, hence the male hooker.
Um, he is now, I had to ask him, he was a year older and he is now she, and we don't, I haven't, I haven't.
Um, he is now, I had to ask him, he was a year older and he is now she, and we don't, I haven't, I haven't.
Um, he is now, I had to ask him, he was a year older and he is now she, and we don't, I haven't, I haven't.
That was good, yeah. Thanks.
That was good, yeah. Thanks.
That was good, yeah. Thanks.
I'm having a hard time picking up the pieces because we don't talk. You know, those people, you just have to be like, fix the clues in and see what they're all about. Like the little, the little clues that they put out there. Oh yeah. Um, and then I didn't go to my senior prom.
I'm having a hard time picking up the pieces because we don't talk. You know, those people, you just have to be like, fix the clues in and see what they're all about. Like the little, the little clues that they put out there. Oh yeah. Um, and then I didn't go to my senior prom.
I'm having a hard time picking up the pieces because we don't talk. You know, those people, you just have to be like, fix the clues in and see what they're all about. Like the little, the little clues that they put out there. Oh yeah. Um, and then I didn't go to my senior prom.
No, I was one of those. I'm still waiting to get picked up for my senior prom in my head.
No, I was one of those. I'm still waiting to get picked up for my senior prom in my head.
No, I was one of those. I'm still waiting to get picked up for my senior prom in my head.
But this was your buddy.
But this was your buddy.
But this was your buddy.
Damn, it's not that bad. Take it off. Just wear the t-shirt.
Damn, it's not that bad. Take it off. Just wear the t-shirt.
Damn, it's not that bad. Take it off. Just wear the t-shirt.
You wanted to wear that. You bought it specially.
You wanted to wear that. You bought it specially.
You wanted to wear that. You bought it specially.
No, no, that's actually, I think it's hilarious.
No, no, that's actually, I think it's hilarious.
No, no, that's actually, I think it's hilarious.
Yeah, like I'm like too far in now. So it's like, I don't really, I'm not looking. I don't really give a shit at this point. It's just, it is what it is. If it comes, it comes. But I would love to come one day.
Yeah, like I'm like too far in now. So it's like, I don't really, I'm not looking. I don't really give a shit at this point. It's just, it is what it is. If it comes, it comes. But I would love to come one day.
Yeah, like I'm like too far in now. So it's like, I don't really, I'm not looking. I don't really give a shit at this point. It's just, it is what it is. If it comes, it comes. But I would love to come one day.
No, I'm not there. Well, I would be if I could be. If I had it coming towards me like that, oh, my God, I'd be a whore. But I'm basically accidentally celibate, which is a beautiful thing, really. You know, some women, they say, oh, it's so easy for a woman to get laid. They can have whoever they want. No, it's not true. There are some of us that have a really hard time living.
No, I'm not there. Well, I would be if I could be. If I had it coming towards me like that, oh, my God, I'd be a whore. But I'm basically accidentally celibate, which is a beautiful thing, really. You know, some women, they say, oh, it's so easy for a woman to get laid. They can have whoever they want. No, it's not true. There are some of us that have a really hard time living.
No, I'm not there. Well, I would be if I could be. If I had it coming towards me like that, oh, my God, I'd be a whore. But I'm basically accidentally celibate, which is a beautiful thing, really. You know, some women, they say, oh, it's so easy for a woman to get laid. They can have whoever they want. No, it's not true. There are some of us that have a really hard time living.
A lot of undercarriage.
A lot of undercarriage.
A lot of undercarriage.
Wow, and you've got some cool pals.
Wow, and you've got some cool pals.
Wow, and you've got some cool pals.
No, it's great to hear. Actually, that just gave me a little bit of a boost. Dude, yeah.
No, it's great to hear. Actually, that just gave me a little bit of a boost. Dude, yeah.
No, it's great to hear. Actually, that just gave me a little bit of a boost. Dude, yeah.
That would be amazing. I was thinking about it the other night. I'm like, you know what? I'm so anti having a kid, but I guess if I had one, I would have to have it because that would be my only shot.
That would be amazing. I was thinking about it the other night. I'm like, you know what? I'm so anti having a kid, but I guess if I had one, I would have to have it because that would be my only shot.
That would be amazing. I was thinking about it the other night. I'm like, you know what? I'm so anti having a kid, but I guess if I had one, I would have to have it because that would be my only shot.
Having a child. Because if this one guy wants to bust it in, then I guess I got to put one out. It's like, it seems like a sad thing to people, but this is just my life.
Having a child. Because if this one guy wants to bust it in, then I guess I got to put one out. It's like, it seems like a sad thing to people, but this is just my life.
Having a child. Because if this one guy wants to bust it in, then I guess I got to put one out. It's like, it seems like a sad thing to people, but this is just my life.
Oh my God, I can't wait to guzzle it down my man. It's going That'd be good. But, like, it's funny to not be a whore but, like, really want to be. Yeah. There's something special about that.
Oh my God, I can't wait to guzzle it down my man. It's going That'd be good. But, like, it's funny to not be a whore but, like, really want to be. Yeah. There's something special about that.
Oh my God, I can't wait to guzzle it down my man. It's going That'd be good. But, like, it's funny to not be a whore but, like, really want to be. Yeah. There's something special about that.
Because most whores, they don't want to be. They want to be known for something other than their hole or their box.
Because most whores, they don't want to be. They want to be known for something other than their hole or their box.
Because most whores, they don't want to be. They want to be known for something other than their hole or their box.
Yeah, I guess. I guess. But, you know. Most wide open. I'll wait for my special day.
Yeah, I guess. I guess. But, you know. Most wide open. I'll wait for my special day.
Yeah, I guess. I guess. But, you know. Most wide open. I'll wait for my special day.
I think when you start having the talk is when they develop more of a daddy problem. It's like there's nothing you can do as a father, I feel like. It's just like their decision to be what they want to do, I suppose. I don't know. I've never been a whore yet. So we'll see. If you had a daughter, what would her name be?
I think when you start having the talk is when they develop more of a daddy problem. It's like there's nothing you can do as a father, I feel like. It's just like their decision to be what they want to do, I suppose. I don't know. I've never been a whore yet. So we'll see. If you had a daughter, what would her name be?
I think when you start having the talk is when they develop more of a daddy problem. It's like there's nothing you can do as a father, I feel like. It's just like their decision to be what they want to do, I suppose. I don't know. I've never been a whore yet. So we'll see. If you had a daughter, what would her name be?
Hester, that's beautiful.
Hester, that's beautiful.
Hester, that's beautiful.
I only have a boy name if I were to have a boy.
I only have a boy name if I were to have a boy.
I only have a boy name if I were to have a boy.
I got Danger, but we call him Danny.
I got Danger, but we call him Danny.
I got Danger, but we call him Danny.
Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah.
literally be roger and turn into danny yeah it's my name is it's roger but they call me danny yeah but this kid he had so like when he's filling out medical forms he has to write danger but everybody knows him as dan or danny oh yeah i think it's good that's a cool name yeah danger and he could get a cool job he could be i'm trying to think of what he could be anything he could be uh the caution sign when you mop the floor yeah
literally be roger and turn into danny yeah it's my name is it's roger but they call me danny yeah but this kid he had so like when he's filling out medical forms he has to write danger but everybody knows him as dan or danny oh yeah i think it's good that's a cool name yeah danger and he could get a cool job he could be i'm trying to think of what he could be anything he could be uh the caution sign when you mop the floor yeah
literally be roger and turn into danny yeah it's my name is it's roger but they call me danny yeah but this kid he had so like when he's filling out medical forms he has to write danger but everybody knows him as dan or danny oh yeah i think it's good that's a cool name yeah danger and he could get a cool job he could be i'm trying to think of what he could be anything he could be uh the caution sign when you mop the floor yeah
Could be a traffic guard. I feel like I'm blowing this. Am I blowing this?
Could be a traffic guard. I feel like I'm blowing this. Am I blowing this?
Could be a traffic guard. I feel like I'm blowing this. Am I blowing this?
No, I feel like I'm blowing this.
No, I feel like I'm blowing this.
No, I feel like I'm blowing this.
Like tag, you're it. You've got the car now.
Like tag, you're it. You've got the car now.
Like tag, you're it. You've got the car now.
I think I'm too honest sometimes where I just have to be like, I feel like I'm fucking this up.
I think I'm too honest sometimes where I just have to be like, I feel like I'm fucking this up.
I think I'm too honest sometimes where I just have to be like, I feel like I'm fucking this up.
I never talk about sex.
I never talk about sex.
I never talk about sex.
I'm just trying my very best.
I'm just trying my very best.
I'm just trying my very best.
I have no personal experience. I'm like writing a book report on a book I've never read.
I have no personal experience. I'm like writing a book report on a book I've never read.
I have no personal experience. I'm like writing a book report on a book I've never read.
Oh, gotcha. All right, cool, cool.
Oh, gotcha. All right, cool, cool.
Oh, gotcha. All right, cool, cool.
Oh, I never come empty-handed to anything, but I've been in limbo all day, so this is the best I can do. I heard you're on again, off again, quitting.
Oh, I never come empty-handed to anything, but I've been in limbo all day, so this is the best I can do. I heard you're on again, off again, quitting.
Oh, I never come empty-handed to anything, but I've been in limbo all day, so this is the best I can do. I heard you're on again, off again, quitting.
I heard sometimes you quit and sometimes you're not. Yeah. But mostly you try to quit, so I feel like an ass, but I don't want to come empty-handed. No, it's nice of you.
I heard sometimes you quit and sometimes you're not. Yeah. But mostly you try to quit, so I feel like an ass, but I don't want to come empty-handed. No, it's nice of you.
I heard sometimes you quit and sometimes you're not. Yeah. But mostly you try to quit, so I feel like an ass, but I don't want to come empty-handed. No, it's nice of you.
everything was miserable kind of yeah i feel that i had an ear blow out i can't hear out of this one really yeah like at all what were you you guys out on the water i was on an airplane and uh like three weeks ago it just just blew and uh this is just a nightmare i've never had it i can't hear yeah it's pretty brutal but um other than that pretty classic of a holiday good stuff you spent time with your family i did yeah nice are your parents still married
everything was miserable kind of yeah i feel that i had an ear blow out i can't hear out of this one really yeah like at all what were you you guys out on the water i was on an airplane and uh like three weeks ago it just just blew and uh this is just a nightmare i've never had it i can't hear yeah it's pretty brutal but um other than that pretty classic of a holiday good stuff you spent time with your family i did yeah nice are your parents still married
everything was miserable kind of yeah i feel that i had an ear blow out i can't hear out of this one really yeah like at all what were you you guys out on the water i was on an airplane and uh like three weeks ago it just just blew and uh this is just a nightmare i've never had it i can't hear yeah it's pretty brutal but um other than that pretty classic of a holiday good stuff you spent time with your family i did yeah nice are your parents still married
They shouldn't be. They can't afford the divorce. They looked into it. And so I'm just working really hard this year so they can get there.
They shouldn't be. They can't afford the divorce. They looked into it. And so I'm just working really hard this year so they can get there.
They shouldn't be. They can't afford the divorce. They looked into it. And so I'm just working really hard this year so they can get there.
I think they'll be stoked.
I think they'll be stoked.
I think they'll be stoked.
It'll be really good.
It'll be really good.
It'll be really good.
Yeah, we were friends forever. Okay. Since we were like in fifth grade.
Yeah, we were friends forever. Okay. Since we were like in fifth grade.
Yeah, we were friends forever. Okay. Since we were like in fifth grade.
Since we were little baby children.
Since we were little baby children.
Since we were little baby children.
yeah um i was just i've always just um like in 2020 she got the job at barstool and like had to move to new york for it and i was taking a semester off from college and she was like do you want to come with me and i was like yeah fuck it why not and so like i door dashed on foot when we got there and stuff and like she slowly but surely like was trying to get me a job at barstool oh really so really hustling for you yeah so like she like really like like
yeah um i was just i've always just um like in 2020 she got the job at barstool and like had to move to new york for it and i was taking a semester off from college and she was like do you want to come with me and i was like yeah fuck it why not and so like i door dashed on foot when we got there and stuff and like she slowly but surely like was trying to get me a job at barstool oh really so really hustling for you yeah so like she like really like like
yeah um i was just i've always just um like in 2020 she got the job at barstool and like had to move to new york for it and i was taking a semester off from college and she was like do you want to come with me and i was like yeah fuck it why not and so like i door dashed on foot when we got there and stuff and like she slowly but surely like was trying to get me a job at barstool oh really so really hustling for you yeah so like she like really like like
stuck her neck out for me and like we ended up doing the podcast together after like a year of living there and it was just so much fun we had a blast it was always fun doing it yeah a lot of y'all's clips are so great dude we were just shoot the shit good banter but um you know uh we're just I think we're just going through a rough patch right now and uh we'll
stuck her neck out for me and like we ended up doing the podcast together after like a year of living there and it was just so much fun we had a blast it was always fun doing it yeah a lot of y'all's clips are so great dude we were just shoot the shit good banter but um you know uh we're just I think we're just going through a rough patch right now and uh we'll
stuck her neck out for me and like we ended up doing the podcast together after like a year of living there and it was just so much fun we had a blast it was always fun doing it yeah a lot of y'all's clips are so great dude we were just shoot the shit good banter but um you know uh we're just I think we're just going through a rough patch right now and uh we'll
I think one day we're going to figure it out. Yeah. She's doing her thing. I'm doing my thing. And I still love her. So I'm being a politician right now.
I think one day we're going to figure it out. Yeah. She's doing her thing. I'm doing my thing. And I still love her. So I'm being a politician right now.
I think one day we're going to figure it out. Yeah. She's doing her thing. I'm doing my thing. And I still love her. So I'm being a politician right now.
Yeah. So that's very nice.
Yeah. So that's very nice.
Yeah. So that's very nice.
I'm so fucking fired up. When you get done with the conversation, you're like, ah, dude, you know who would really help me out with this? Exactly who I'm talking about. It's fucking brutal. It's tough.
I'm so fucking fired up. When you get done with the conversation, you're like, ah, dude, you know who would really help me out with this? Exactly who I'm talking about. It's fucking brutal. It's tough.
I'm so fucking fired up. When you get done with the conversation, you're like, ah, dude, you know who would really help me out with this? Exactly who I'm talking about. It's fucking brutal. It's tough.
Yeah. Do you still have pals from growing up?
Yeah. Do you still have pals from growing up?
Yeah. Do you still have pals from growing up?
Well, at least they locked it in beforehand.
Well, at least they locked it in beforehand.
Well, at least they locked it in beforehand.
Yeah. They have an idea. They're like, oh, I'm going to lock it in. I'm going to get that.
Yeah. They have an idea. They're like, oh, I'm going to lock it in. I'm going to get that.
Yeah. They have an idea. They're like, oh, I'm going to lock it in. I'm going to get that.
Hey, buddy, it's time to get that ring and put the knee down.
Hey, buddy, it's time to get that ring and put the knee down.
Hey, buddy, it's time to get that ring and put the knee down.
Yeah. I do think everyone should get out of their town at some point. Oh, yeah. Because like you don't know what you're missing if you don't.
Yeah. I do think everyone should get out of their town at some point. Oh, yeah. Because like you don't know what you're missing if you don't.
Yeah. I do think everyone should get out of their town at some point. Oh, yeah. Because like you don't know what you're missing if you don't.
Like I thought everybody was Catholic growing up. I never knew any Jewish people. I never knew anyone who was different. And I didn't find out until my junior year of high school that there's other religions.
Like I thought everybody was Catholic growing up. I never knew any Jewish people. I never knew anyone who was different. And I didn't find out until my junior year of high school that there's other religions.
Like I thought everybody was Catholic growing up. I never knew any Jewish people. I never knew anyone who was different. And I didn't find out until my junior year of high school that there's other religions.
Yeah. It's a commitment that I just don't have the willpower to do.
Yeah. It's a commitment that I just don't have the willpower to do.
Yeah. It's a commitment that I just don't have the willpower to do.
That's pretty retarded.
That's pretty retarded.
That's pretty retarded.
And that's where I thought I could get some, but— Oh, really? They only like the boys.
And that's where I thought I could get some, but— Oh, really? They only like the boys.
And that's where I thought I could get some, but— Oh, really? They only like the boys.
Yeah, I've been trying every angle for years.
Yeah, I've been trying every angle for years.
Yeah, I've been trying every angle for years.
I guess I could have shaved my head, but they see right through that with the tits, you know?
I guess I could have shaved my head, but they see right through that with the tits, you know?
I guess I could have shaved my head, but they see right through that with the tits, you know?
You shall not be blessed. I don't know what they say.
You shall not be blessed. I don't know what they say.
You shall not be blessed. I don't know what they say.
I was supposed to try January yesterday, and I just didn't.
I was supposed to try January yesterday, and I just didn't.
I was supposed to try January yesterday, and I just didn't.
Is that like Mormon shit?
Is that like Mormon shit?
Is that like Mormon shit?
The Lemonade Stand Church.
The Lemonade Stand Church.
The Lemonade Stand Church.
I couldn't. I didn't have the willpower.
I couldn't. I didn't have the willpower.
I couldn't. I didn't have the willpower.
Yes, yeah. So I've been there for like four years.
Yes, yeah. So I've been there for like four years.
Yes, yeah. So I've been there for like four years.
Well, now with stand-up, I'm like, oh, finally, I love New York. I needed my thing, and I finally found my thing. And so I've been loving that. And I was just too scared to do it. I was just being such a pussy.
Well, now with stand-up, I'm like, oh, finally, I love New York. I needed my thing, and I finally found my thing. And so I've been loving that. And I was just too scared to do it. I was just being such a pussy.
Well, now with stand-up, I'm like, oh, finally, I love New York. I needed my thing, and I finally found my thing. And so I've been loving that. And I was just too scared to do it. I was just being such a pussy.
I wanted to stop this going on, so we're going to try again today.
I wanted to stop this going on, so we're going to try again today.
I wanted to stop this going on, so we're going to try again today.
I try to be, like, just myself and, like, open and honest. But my problem is I do this accent and it comes out only sometimes.
I try to be, like, just myself and, like, open and honest. But my problem is I do this accent and it comes out only sometimes.
I try to be, like, just myself and, like, open and honest. But my problem is I do this accent and it comes out only sometimes.
So I've got, like, this Boston accent, but sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off. So people are like, you're doing a fake accent. I don't even know I'm doing it.
So I've got, like, this Boston accent, but sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off. So people are like, you're doing a fake accent. I don't even know I'm doing it.
So I've got, like, this Boston accent, but sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off. So people are like, you're doing a fake accent. I don't even know I'm doing it.
So I don't know who I am.
So I don't know who I am.
So I don't know who I am.
Yeah. Cause you can't, you can't fake a laugh, right?
Yeah. Cause you can't, you can't fake a laugh, right?
Yeah. Cause you can't, you can't fake a laugh, right?
Yeah, but for what, though? Like, we're just new all of a sudden? We're just going to flip it off?
Yeah, but for what, though? Like, we're just new all of a sudden? We're just going to flip it off?
Yeah, but for what, though? Like, we're just new all of a sudden? We're just going to flip it off?
Yeah. I know a genuine laugh and I know a fake laugh. Yeah. And if you're just going to fucking hate me and be a dick, then you're not going to laugh in general. And then I could wean you out.
Yeah. I know a genuine laugh and I know a fake laugh. Yeah. And if you're just going to fucking hate me and be a dick, then you're not going to laugh in general. And then I could wean you out.
Yeah. I know a genuine laugh and I know a fake laugh. Yeah. And if you're just going to fucking hate me and be a dick, then you're not going to laugh in general. And then I could wean you out.
I've always wanted to do stand-up. I just didn't think I could. I didn't think it was an option. And there's a part of me that wishes that, and this is, I guess, serious, but there's a part of me that wishes I was able to get into stand-up before anything else because I just want to be... I don't want people to think I'm just like doing it for shits and gigs to have like this other thing.
I've always wanted to do stand-up. I just didn't think I could. I didn't think it was an option. And there's a part of me that wishes that, and this is, I guess, serious, but there's a part of me that wishes I was able to get into stand-up before anything else because I just want to be... I don't want people to think I'm just like doing it for shits and gigs to have like this other thing.
I've always wanted to do stand-up. I just didn't think I could. I didn't think it was an option. And there's a part of me that wishes that, and this is, I guess, serious, but there's a part of me that wishes I was able to get into stand-up before anything else because I just want to be... I don't want people to think I'm just like doing it for shits and gigs to have like this other thing.
It's like that's what my main focus is and that's what like I love. It just so happened that one came before the other kind of thing. And like I wish I like... I don't know, got more of the reps in before people started coming.
It's like that's what my main focus is and that's what like I love. It just so happened that one came before the other kind of thing. And like I wish I like... I don't know, got more of the reps in before people started coming.
It's like that's what my main focus is and that's what like I love. It just so happened that one came before the other kind of thing. And like I wish I like... I don't know, got more of the reps in before people started coming.
Which I appreciate people coming and seeing me, but I really wanted to get it right. I didn't even want you to stay the other night. Over the set? One day you could see it. Not yet. It's not there yet. It's good enough to buy tickets, but it's not there yet for you. No, no shot.
Which I appreciate people coming and seeing me, but I really wanted to get it right. I didn't even want you to stay the other night. Over the set? One day you could see it. Not yet. It's not there yet. It's good enough to buy tickets, but it's not there yet for you. No, no shot.
Which I appreciate people coming and seeing me, but I really wanted to get it right. I didn't even want you to stay the other night. Over the set? One day you could see it. Not yet. It's not there yet. It's good enough to buy tickets, but it's not there yet for you. No, no shot.
Yeah. It's a lot of pressure.
Yeah. It's a lot of pressure.
Yeah. It's a lot of pressure.
And I've done the podcast touring. That shit is so easy.
And I've done the podcast touring. That shit is so easy.
And I've done the podcast touring. That shit is so easy.
It's so easy. You have segments. You do the same thing every night. You can switch around with jokes depending on the crowd, but compared to stand-up, it's a walk at the park. It feels like stealing. You're stealing money from fans that adore you. It's not fair. But I never made any money off of it.
It's so easy. You have segments. You do the same thing every night. You can switch around with jokes depending on the crowd, but compared to stand-up, it's a walk at the park. It feels like stealing. You're stealing money from fans that adore you. It's not fair. But I never made any money off of it.
It's so easy. You have segments. You do the same thing every night. You can switch around with jokes depending on the crowd, but compared to stand-up, it's a walk at the park. It feels like stealing. You're stealing money from fans that adore you. It's not fair. But I never made any money off of it.
Barstool took it all, yeah.
Barstool took it all, yeah.
Barstool took it all, yeah.
Yeah. No way. I had an interesting contract.
Yeah. No way. I had an interesting contract.
Yeah. No way. I had an interesting contract.
But I loved them so much.
But I loved them so much.
But I loved them so much.
I actually just recently left.
I actually just recently left.
I actually just recently left.
Um, yeah. So I got, I had a salary.
Um, yeah. So I got, I had a salary.
Um, yeah. So I got, I had a salary.
And that was, that was kind of it. And so I had the option to leave and I took it.
And that was, that was kind of it. And so I had the option to leave and I took it.
And that was, that was kind of it. And so I had the option to leave and I took it.
It was decent. Um, it wasn't, uh, equated to...
It was decent. Um, it wasn't, uh, equated to...
It was decent. Um, it wasn't, uh, equated to...
No, nothing close to that, no. My buddy was making a little bit more, a lot of it more, a whole shit ton more.
No, nothing close to that, no. My buddy was making a little bit more, a lot of it more, a whole shit ton more.
No, nothing close to that, no. My buddy was making a little bit more, a lot of it more, a whole shit ton more.
But she was doing another podcast and whatnot.
But she was doing another podcast and whatnot.
But she was doing another podcast and whatnot.
So it's all relative.
So it's all relative.
So it's all relative.
Thanks for having me. I'm super pumped. I tried to play it really cool the other day, but I am a very big fan.
Thanks for having me. I'm super pumped. I tried to play it really cool the other day, but I am a very big fan.
Thanks for having me. I'm super pumped. I tried to play it really cool the other day, but I am a very big fan.
I also didn't care. I was just happy to be there.
I also didn't care. I was just happy to be there.
I also didn't care. I was just happy to be there.
Like, I was, like, literally, I was stoked to just have the job.
Like, I was, like, literally, I was stoked to just have the job.
Like, I was, like, literally, I was stoked to just have the job.
So I was, at one point I was working for free selling T-shirts, just paying for my own clothes. Yeah, it was crazy. I was like, yo, I'm just, like, really happy to be here.
So I was, at one point I was working for free selling T-shirts, just paying for my own clothes. Yeah, it was crazy. I was like, yo, I'm just, like, really happy to be here.
So I was, at one point I was working for free selling T-shirts, just paying for my own clothes. Yeah, it was crazy. I was like, yo, I'm just, like, really happy to be here.
Do it any way I can.
Do it any way I can.
Do it any way I can.
It's about to grind. Yeah.
It's about to grind. Yeah.
It's about to grind. Yeah.
That's the new thing I'm learning is because I haven't taken time off this whole year. And with Christmas, I took like two weeks off and I fucked myself big time. I was like, Jesus Christ, this is bad. This is bad news biz. Those shows, I don't know, they were fine, but they weren't great. I'll tell you that.
That's the new thing I'm learning is because I haven't taken time off this whole year. And with Christmas, I took like two weeks off and I fucked myself big time. I was like, Jesus Christ, this is bad. This is bad news biz. Those shows, I don't know, they were fine, but they weren't great. I'll tell you that.
That's the new thing I'm learning is because I haven't taken time off this whole year. And with Christmas, I took like two weeks off and I fucked myself big time. I was like, Jesus Christ, this is bad. This is bad news biz. Those shows, I don't know, they were fine, but they weren't great. I'll tell you that.
I'm kind of all over the place. I'm trying to find my thing. I'm doing half jokes, half punches. The punches are corny.
I'm kind of all over the place. I'm trying to find my thing. I'm doing half jokes, half punches. The punches are corny.
I'm kind of all over the place. I'm trying to find my thing. I'm doing half jokes, half punches. The punches are corny.
Yeah, I don't know if you can tell, but I hate my entire set at the moment. I really think it could be a lot better. But that's why I'm doing Dry January when I hit the ground running. Oh, for sure.
Yeah, I don't know if you can tell, but I hate my entire set at the moment. I really think it could be a lot better. But that's why I'm doing Dry January when I hit the ground running. Oh, for sure.
Yeah, I don't know if you can tell, but I hate my entire set at the moment. I really think it could be a lot better. But that's why I'm doing Dry January when I hit the ground running. Oh, for sure.
I feel like I'm pretending. Of course. You can tell. It's brutal. I'm like, I really want to be taken serious, but I can't even take myself serious. Fucking fool. I'm just foolish.
I feel like I'm pretending. Of course. You can tell. It's brutal. I'm like, I really want to be taken serious, but I can't even take myself serious. Fucking fool. I'm just foolish.
I feel like I'm pretending. Of course. You can tell. It's brutal. I'm like, I really want to be taken serious, but I can't even take myself serious. Fucking fool. I'm just foolish.
Just like I'm fucking sweating. I'm sweating through my pants. I'm like... It's really not as bad as I'm making it out to be. Hey. But...
Just like I'm fucking sweating. I'm sweating through my pants. I'm like... It's really not as bad as I'm making it out to be. Hey. But...
Just like I'm fucking sweating. I'm sweating through my pants. I'm like... It's really not as bad as I'm making it out to be. Hey. But...
Like, I don't know what's wrong with half of these people. Everyone's kind of fucking out of control.
Like, I don't know what's wrong with half of these people. Everyone's kind of fucking out of control.
Like, I don't know what's wrong with half of these people. Everyone's kind of fucking out of control.
I just, I mean, I look up to you. I look up to like all your buddies.
I just, I mean, I look up to you. I look up to like all your buddies.
I just, I mean, I look up to you. I look up to like all your buddies.
But you've got it. And it's just, it's like so awesome to see. I just, I can't wait for the day I finally get it, you know?
But you've got it. And it's just, it's like so awesome to see. I just, I can't wait for the day I finally get it, you know?
But you've got it. And it's just, it's like so awesome to see. I just, I can't wait for the day I finally get it, you know?
Like, oh, he's actually very successful.
Like, oh, he's actually very successful.
Like, oh, he's actually very successful.
You should have been rooting him on.
You should have been rooting him on.
You should have been rooting him on.
Actually, will you sign this? I'm actually a huge fan.
Actually, will you sign this? I'm actually a huge fan.
Actually, will you sign this? I'm actually a huge fan.
That's crazy. That just takes one John Hancock to pay six months rent.
That's crazy. That just takes one John Hancock to pay six months rent.
That's crazy. That just takes one John Hancock to pay six months rent.
Oh, with the family. Yeah.
Oh, with the family. Yeah.
Oh, with the family. Yeah.
What's that talk sound like?
What's that talk sound like?
What's that talk sound like?
It's not the first boyfriend that's ever peed in the sink for her. She's kind of into it. The mom's into it for some reason.
It's not the first boyfriend that's ever peed in the sink for her. She's kind of into it. The mom's into it for some reason.
It's not the first boyfriend that's ever peed in the sink for her. She's kind of into it. The mom's into it for some reason.
That's what she said. About the pissing in the sink?
That's what she said. About the pissing in the sink?
That's what she said. About the pissing in the sink?
Not really. No, not so much. I think that's I think that's the new wave that they're trying to do right now is that they're trying to cast for a lot of comedy shows because there has been like a lull. Yeah, that's what I heard.
Not really. No, not so much. I think that's I think that's the new wave that they're trying to do right now is that they're trying to cast for a lot of comedy shows because there has been like a lull. Yeah, that's what I heard.
Not really. No, not so much. I think that's I think that's the new wave that they're trying to do right now is that they're trying to cast for a lot of comedy shows because there has been like a lull. Yeah, that's what I heard.
Yeah, that's true. That is really true.
Yeah, that's true. That is really true.
Yeah, that's true. That is really true.
No, no, no. I'm listening and I'm taking it all in because clearly I need it. I need all the information that I need.
No, no, no. I'm listening and I'm taking it all in because clearly I need it. I need all the information that I need.
No, no, no. I'm listening and I'm taking it all in because clearly I need it. I need all the information that I need.
No, no, no. That was the advice you gave. Don't take anyone's advice.
No, no, no. That was the advice you gave. Don't take anyone's advice.
No, no, no. That was the advice you gave. Don't take anyone's advice.
You said, oh, well, I just fucked that up. Okay.
You said, oh, well, I just fucked that up. Okay.
You said, oh, well, I just fucked that up. Okay.
I guess I haven't podcasted in a while. I'm pretty rusty. You seem great. I'm usually good with the banter.
I guess I haven't podcasted in a while. I'm pretty rusty. You seem great. I'm usually good with the banter.
I guess I haven't podcasted in a while. I'm pretty rusty. You seem great. I'm usually good with the banter.
I'm usually good with the jokes.
I'm usually good with the jokes.
I'm usually good with the jokes.
Yeah, shout out, Nora.
Yeah, shout out, Nora.
Yeah, shout out, Nora.
Yeah, I mean, like you just got to – you got to say – you got to be yourself. Yeah. That's what it is. You just got to be yourself. But if yourself is an asshole, then maybe you should change.
Yeah, I mean, like you just got to – you got to say – you got to be yourself. Yeah. That's what it is. You just got to be yourself. But if yourself is an asshole, then maybe you should change.
Yeah, I mean, like you just got to – you got to say – you got to be yourself. Yeah. That's what it is. You just got to be yourself. But if yourself is an asshole, then maybe you should change.
Nora's here. We're trying to figure out, so Nora just graduated from West Virginia University.
Nora's here. We're trying to figure out, so Nora just graduated from West Virginia University.
Nora's here. We're trying to figure out, so Nora just graduated from West Virginia University.
And we're trying to figure out what we're going to do with her. She needs a job, so I'm trying to think of what she can do within the realm of working together.
And we're trying to figure out what we're going to do with her. She needs a job, so I'm trying to think of what she can do within the realm of working together.
And we're trying to figure out what we're going to do with her. She needs a job, so I'm trying to think of what she can do within the realm of working together.
She can edit. Yeah. So we're thinking she, she's going to be doing like the social media side of things.
She can edit. Yeah. So we're thinking she, she's going to be doing like the social media side of things.
She can edit. Yeah. So we're thinking she, she's going to be doing like the social media side of things.
She's tagging along. It's good to have, it's good to have someone that knows you very well.
She's tagging along. It's good to have, it's good to have someone that knows you very well.
She's tagging along. It's good to have, it's good to have someone that knows you very well.
What do you, what do you got so far? Well, you have to, that movie is coming out.
What do you, what do you got so far? Well, you have to, that movie is coming out.
What do you, what do you got so far? Well, you have to, that movie is coming out.
You're making a movie. It's in the process of being made right now.
You're making a movie. It's in the process of being made right now.
You're making a movie. It's in the process of being made right now.
What's the writing process for that? Are you allowed to talk about it?
What's the writing process for that? Are you allowed to talk about it?
What's the writing process for that? Are you allowed to talk about it?
Oh, no shit. Fuck yeah. That's sick.
Oh, no shit. Fuck yeah. That's sick.
Oh, no shit. Fuck yeah. That's sick.
Do you Skype and write?
Do you Skype and write?
Do you Skype and write?
Yeah, fuck you. I'll prove you wrong.
Yeah, fuck you. I'll prove you wrong.
Yeah, fuck you. I'll prove you wrong.
Yeah, no, dude, you're locked in. I love to see that.
Yeah, no, dude, you're locked in. I love to see that.
Yeah, no, dude, you're locked in. I love to see that.
Well, you're excited, you jest.
Well, you're excited, you jest.
Well, you're excited, you jest.
I think I'm just fucking angry.
I think I'm just fucking angry.
I think I'm just fucking angry.
Dude, you and Spade just spaded people?
Dude, you and Spade just spaded people?
Dude, you and Spade just spaded people?
When do you know something like that's done?
When do you know something like that's done?
When do you know something like that's done?
I'm sure you guys are timeless, timeless humor.
I'm sure you guys are timeless, timeless humor.
I'm sure you guys are timeless, timeless humor.
My mom got me a megaphone for Christmas. And I got her a trip to Hawaii. So a little different.
My mom got me a megaphone for Christmas. And I got her a trip to Hawaii. So a little different.
My mom got me a megaphone for Christmas. And I got her a trip to Hawaii. So a little different.
That's what's kind of fucked up, I'm realizing. But my father and I, we have a tricky relationship.
That's what's kind of fucked up, I'm realizing. But my father and I, we have a tricky relationship.
That's what's kind of fucked up, I'm realizing. But my father and I, we have a tricky relationship.
No. Even the dog's a lady. So, yeah, the poor bastard, everybody always says. But it's what he gets, he says. I guess he was a fucking asshole growing up.
No. Even the dog's a lady. So, yeah, the poor bastard, everybody always says. But it's what he gets, he says. I guess he was a fucking asshole growing up.
No. Even the dog's a lady. So, yeah, the poor bastard, everybody always says. But it's what he gets, he says. I guess he was a fucking asshole growing up.
It must be, yeah. He must have been a fucking prick because he says, I deserve it. That's what I get. Four women and a lady dog.
It must be, yeah. He must have been a fucking prick because he says, I deserve it. That's what I get. Four women and a lady dog.
It must be, yeah. He must have been a fucking prick because he says, I deserve it. That's what I get. Four women and a lady dog.
Yeah. And what happened again? He was in a fire? What happened? He was electrocuted on the job. So he's the guy, when the lights go off in the city, he turns them on. And he got zippity zapped. Pop! Now we're doing the same drugs. He does ketamine therapy.
Yeah. And what happened again? He was in a fire? What happened? He was electrocuted on the job. So he's the guy, when the lights go off in the city, he turns them on. And he got zippity zapped. Pop! Now we're doing the same drugs. He does ketamine therapy.
Yeah. And what happened again? He was in a fire? What happened? He was electrocuted on the job. So he's the guy, when the lights go off in the city, he turns them on. And he got zippity zapped. Pop! Now we're doing the same drugs. He does ketamine therapy.
Yeah. And he does his in a doctor's office and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge. It's a little different.
Yeah. And he does his in a doctor's office and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge. It's a little different.
Yeah. And he does his in a doctor's office and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge. It's a little different.
Just absolutely no. Picture like any Irish guy with like a scally cap about like yay high, wide, one dead tooth.
Just absolutely no. Picture like any Irish guy with like a scally cap about like yay high, wide, one dead tooth.
Just absolutely no. Picture like any Irish guy with like a scally cap about like yay high, wide, one dead tooth.
Yes. Chewing tobacco, but he doesn't care anymore. It's just all in his teeth.
Yes. Chewing tobacco, but he doesn't care anymore. It's just all in his teeth.
Yes. Chewing tobacco, but he doesn't care anymore. It's just all in his teeth.
Confetti. Oh, yeah. Confetti, tobacco.
Confetti. Oh, yeah. Confetti, tobacco.
Confetti. Oh, yeah. Confetti, tobacco.
I know. I wish I had the 23andMe to claim one of those things because I feel like if you can claim it, you can say it.
I know. I wish I had the 23andMe to claim one of those things because I feel like if you can claim it, you can say it.
I know. I wish I had the 23andMe to claim one of those things because I feel like if you can claim it, you can say it.
Confetti. It's like every day is a party in his mouth. Yeah.
Confetti. It's like every day is a party in his mouth. Yeah.
Confetti. It's like every day is a party in his mouth. Yeah.
We've got Ben Affleck.
We've got Ben Affleck.
We've got Ben Affleck.
And then it used to be Marky Mark, but he kind of lost me because he wakes up too early in the morning and gets too swollen too early.
And then it used to be Marky Mark, but he kind of lost me because he wakes up too early in the morning and gets too swollen too early.
And then it used to be Marky Mark, but he kind of lost me because he wakes up too early in the morning and gets too swollen too early.
His hands are in too many baskets. I don't trust him. He has his hands in too many things.
His hands are in too many baskets. I don't trust him. He has his hands in too many things.
His hands are in too many baskets. I don't trust him. He has his hands in too many things.
There's a lot of words I can't say that I would love to claim to be able to say.
There's a lot of words I can't say that I would love to claim to be able to say.
There's a lot of words I can't say that I would love to claim to be able to say.
Nah. I think he lost that. He went full Hollywood.
Nah. I think he lost that. He went full Hollywood.
Nah. I think he lost that. He went full Hollywood.
He has. And it starts early on. Beating the shit out of an Asian guy, all that jazz.
He has. And it starts early on. Beating the shit out of an Asian guy, all that jazz.
He has. And it starts early on. Beating the shit out of an Asian guy, all that jazz.
He's not stopping Asian hate at all.
He's not stopping Asian hate at all.
He's not stopping Asian hate at all.
Your brothers are the brother brothers. The brothers was zapping Asians everywhere.
Your brothers are the brother brothers. The brothers was zapping Asians everywhere.
Your brothers are the brother brothers. The brothers was zapping Asians everywhere.
It was the brothers and my father. My dad just is sparky now.
It was the brothers and my father. My dad just is sparky now.
It was the brothers and my father. My dad just is sparky now.
Oh, yeah. I would get people good. My favorite thing to do to fuck with someone was pass the milk carton around and say, oh, you sit on it. It's all right. And then you give it to the biggest person and you know it's going to explode.
Oh, yeah. I would get people good. My favorite thing to do to fuck with someone was pass the milk carton around and say, oh, you sit on it. It's all right. And then you give it to the biggest person and you know it's going to explode.
Oh, yeah. I would get people good. My favorite thing to do to fuck with someone was pass the milk carton around and say, oh, you sit on it. It's all right. And then you give it to the biggest person and you know it's going to explode.
Yeah. It wasn't me who was doing that to people.
Yeah. It wasn't me who was doing that to people.
Yeah. It wasn't me who was doing that to people.
Always, every time.
Always, every time.
Always, every time.
And I fell for it every time. It was foolish. I got jumped a lot growing up. You did? I did, yeah.
And I fell for it every time. It was foolish. I got jumped a lot growing up. You did? I did, yeah.
And I fell for it every time. It was foolish. I got jumped a lot growing up. You did? I did, yeah.
One time from a black man.
One time from a black man.
One time from a black man.
That was good. That was at a 21 Savage concert.
That was good. That was at a 21 Savage concert.
That was good. That was at a 21 Savage concert.
He was kind of windmilling me, and I was pissing my pants, crying. And then all of a sudden, 21 Savage said, yo, y'all wildin' down there. Y'all gotta chill. And I'm like, can you help? It was crazy.
He was kind of windmilling me, and I was pissing my pants, crying. And then all of a sudden, 21 Savage said, yo, y'all wildin' down there. Y'all gotta chill. And I'm like, can you help? It was crazy.
He was kind of windmilling me, and I was pissing my pants, crying. And then all of a sudden, 21 Savage said, yo, y'all wildin' down there. Y'all gotta chill. And I'm like, can you help? It was crazy.
I am a mick, so I'm Irish.
I am a mick, so I'm Irish.
I am a mick, so I'm Irish.
I was getting wilded on.
I was getting wilded on.
I was getting wilded on.
You know, it was brutal. And it was good, though, because my buddy didn't even try to help. The girlfriend of the guy who was punching me said, nah, just let it happen. And she did. She let it happen.
You know, it was brutal. And it was good, though, because my buddy didn't even try to help. The girlfriend of the guy who was punching me said, nah, just let it happen. And she did. She let it happen.
You know, it was brutal. And it was good, though, because my buddy didn't even try to help. The girlfriend of the guy who was punching me said, nah, just let it happen. And she did. She let it happen.
Pretty, pretty embedded. Yeah.
Pretty, pretty embedded. Yeah.
Pretty, pretty embedded. Yeah.
Uh, no, it was just, yeah, it was just a baby girl.
Uh, no, it was just, yeah, it was just a baby girl.
Uh, no, it was just, yeah, it was just a baby girl.
Oh yeah. No, it's quite the story though. I went to school the next day with a black guy from a black guy.
Oh yeah. No, it's quite the story though. I went to school the next day with a black guy from a black guy.
Oh yeah. No, it's quite the story though. I went to school the next day with a black guy from a black guy.
So that was nice. It was kind of cool.
So that was nice. It was kind of cool.
So that was nice. It was kind of cool.
I just pretend it was from sex. I just keep running back to that.
I just pretend it was from sex. I just keep running back to that.
I just pretend it was from sex. I just keep running back to that.
That would have been nice.
That would have been nice.
That would have been nice.
No dating. You haven't dated either? No.
No dating. You haven't dated either? No.
No dating. You haven't dated either? No.
Well, like, I've been on three dates in my life.
Well, like, I've been on three dates in my life.
Well, like, I've been on three dates in my life.
Like, the last date I went on, he recorded inside my house. So I said, I think I'm good for now.
Like, the last date I went on, he recorded inside my house. So I said, I think I'm good for now.
Like, the last date I went on, he recorded inside my house. So I said, I think I'm good for now.
Like, yeah, dude, just lock your camera up, I guess.
Like, yeah, dude, just lock your camera up, I guess.
Like, yeah, dude, just lock your camera up, I guess.
No, it's all right. Another date I went on, I was talking about it on the podcast, keeping it very ambiguous. I didn't want any feelings to get hurt, but he showed up hammered. And I thought that he was like just wicked drunk and slurring his words. Well, it turns out he had a speech impediment. Oh. And I didn't realize, and I didn't pick up on that. And he sent me a very long text.
No, it's all right. Another date I went on, I was talking about it on the podcast, keeping it very ambiguous. I didn't want any feelings to get hurt, but he showed up hammered. And I thought that he was like just wicked drunk and slurring his words. Well, it turns out he had a speech impediment. Oh. And I didn't realize, and I didn't pick up on that. And he sent me a very long text.
No, it's all right. Another date I went on, I was talking about it on the podcast, keeping it very ambiguous. I didn't want any feelings to get hurt, but he showed up hammered. And I thought that he was like just wicked drunk and slurring his words. Well, it turns out he had a speech impediment. Oh. And I didn't realize, and I didn't pick up on that. And he sent me a very long text.
I have a speech impediment, and I don't know why. Very long. Yeah. And he said, I didn't know why you didn't like the champagne I bought you at the dive bar. I said, oh, I'm sorry. I guess we just want different things.
I have a speech impediment, and I don't know why. Very long. Yeah. And he said, I didn't know why you didn't like the champagne I bought you at the dive bar. I said, oh, I'm sorry. I guess we just want different things.
I have a speech impediment, and I don't know why. Very long. Yeah. And he said, I didn't know why you didn't like the champagne I bought you at the dive bar. I said, oh, I'm sorry. I guess we just want different things.
Yeah. I don't know. I don't have a good track record.
Yeah. I don't know. I don't have a good track record.
Yeah. I don't know. I don't have a good track record.
Hell yeah. Have you seen that girl? Have you seen that girl who got railed by like 150 guys?
Hell yeah. Have you seen that girl? Have you seen that girl who got railed by like 150 guys?
Hell yeah. Have you seen that girl? Have you seen that girl who got railed by like 150 guys?
Yeah. She's kind of doing like magic. Like, I don't know. She's like adding time. She's doing daylight savings or something.
Yeah. She's kind of doing like magic. Like, I don't know. She's like adding time. She's doing daylight savings or something.
Yeah. She's kind of doing like magic. Like, I don't know. She's like adding time. She's doing daylight savings or something.
That's a lot of time spent.
That's a lot of time spent.
That's a lot of time spent.
Oh my God. No, I haven't seen that, but that's classic.
Oh my God. No, I haven't seen that, but that's classic.
Oh my God. No, I haven't seen that, but that's classic.
It's like a meet and greet with their dick out. Yeah. Yeah, just like next.
It's like a meet and greet with their dick out. Yeah. Yeah, just like next.
It's like a meet and greet with their dick out. Yeah. Yeah, just like next.
Yeah, well, this is going the extra goddamn mile. Yeah.
Yeah, well, this is going the extra goddamn mile. Yeah.
Yeah, well, this is going the extra goddamn mile. Yeah.
It's about pretty much the way I was brought up.
It's about pretty much the way I was brought up.
It's about pretty much the way I was brought up.
Yeah. I don't know why I was going to ask that.
Yeah. I don't know why I was going to ask that.
Yeah. I don't know why I was going to ask that.
One of my worst jokes I ever wrote was, like one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that I was breastfed Guinness. Yeah. Stupid.
One of my worst jokes I ever wrote was, like one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that I was breastfed Guinness. Yeah. Stupid.
One of my worst jokes I ever wrote was, like one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that I was breastfed Guinness. Yeah. Stupid.
So, yeah, those are my friends from growing up. What I didn't realize was one of my friends, she's a really big fan, and her boyfriend who was sitting next to you, he's an even bigger fan of yours.
So, yeah, those are my friends from growing up. What I didn't realize was one of my friends, she's a really big fan, and her boyfriend who was sitting next to you, he's an even bigger fan of yours.
So, yeah, those are my friends from growing up. What I didn't realize was one of my friends, she's a really big fan, and her boyfriend who was sitting next to you, he's an even bigger fan of yours.
Yeah, he was losing it. And she had her phone out. and she did exactly what i asked her not to do and she had her flash and she recorded a video and i was like she thought she was taking a picture oh and she actually took a video and it was like three seconds long of her boyfriend saying yeah yeah yeah i think so yeah
Yeah, he was losing it. And she had her phone out. and she did exactly what i asked her not to do and she had her flash and she recorded a video and i was like she thought she was taking a picture oh and she actually took a video and it was like three seconds long of her boyfriend saying yeah yeah yeah i think so yeah
Yeah, he was losing it. And she had her phone out. and she did exactly what i asked her not to do and she had her flash and she recorded a video and i was like she thought she was taking a picture oh and she actually took a video and it was like three seconds long of her boyfriend saying yeah yeah yeah i think so yeah
No, I would have had to delete that. I was so upset. You know, like you ask your friends to do one thing, which please don't do that one thing, and they do that one thing.
No, I would have had to delete that. I was so upset. You know, like you ask your friends to do one thing, which please don't do that one thing, and they do that one thing.
No, I would have had to delete that. I was so upset. You know, like you ask your friends to do one thing, which please don't do that one thing, and they do that one thing.
So Cree's never been hotter than right now?
So Cree's never been hotter than right now?
So Cree's never been hotter than right now?
You know what would be a good idea? I've been saying this. There should be a comedian at the halftime for the Super Bowl.
You know what would be a good idea? I've been saying this. There should be a comedian at the halftime for the Super Bowl.
You know what would be a good idea? I've been saying this. There should be a comedian at the halftime for the Super Bowl.
Yeah. I want to do it. You do? Yeah.
Yeah. I want to do it. You do? Yeah.
Yeah. I want to do it. You do? Yeah.
Oh, right now? No, no. God, no. No, I could pull that, though, if I wanted to.
Oh, right now? No, no. God, no. No, I could pull that, though, if I wanted to.
Oh, right now? No, no. God, no. No, I could pull that, though, if I wanted to.
It would do, like, half music, half... You've got to find, like, the good, happy medium between fireworks, music, and jokes.
It would do, like, half music, half... You've got to find, like, the good, happy medium between fireworks, music, and jokes.
It would do, like, half music, half... You've got to find, like, the good, happy medium between fireworks, music, and jokes.
It would be like the worst thing that's ever happened at the Super Bowl thus far.
It would be like the worst thing that's ever happened at the Super Bowl thus far.
It would be like the worst thing that's ever happened at the Super Bowl thus far.
Salute on that. That would be intense.
Salute on that. That would be intense.
Salute on that. That would be intense.
Oh, so they've never been hotter. Good for them.
Oh, so they've never been hotter. Good for them.
Oh, so they've never been hotter. Good for them.
Oh, shit. What's Creed?
Oh, shit. What's Creed?
Oh, shit. What's Creed?
I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but I saw Kid Rock the other night on New Year's. He looked like he was about to.
I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but I saw Kid Rock the other night on New Year's. He looked like he was about to.
I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but I saw Kid Rock the other night on New Year's. He looked like he was about to.
Pull up that video of him from the other night. No, I saw him with my own eyes.
Pull up that video of him from the other night. No, I saw him with my own eyes.
Pull up that video of him from the other night. No, I saw him with my own eyes.
And he looked like he was about to go out on a stretcher. Is that always the thing? Is that his kind of his deal?
And he looked like he was about to go out on a stretcher. Is that always the thing? Is that his kind of his deal?
And he looked like he was about to go out on a stretcher. Is that always the thing? Is that his kind of his deal?
Oh, did somebody get a video of him? Yeah, this is it. He looked a lot worse upstairs.
Oh, did somebody get a video of him? Yeah, this is it. He looked a lot worse upstairs.
Oh, did somebody get a video of him? Yeah, this is it. He looked a lot worse upstairs.
He was shaking good.
He was shaking good.
He was shaking good.
I don't want problems with Kid Rock, actually.
I don't want problems with Kid Rock, actually.
I don't want problems with Kid Rock, actually.
No, just that one high and by kind of thing.
No, just that one high and by kind of thing.
No, just that one high and by kind of thing.
All right, let's go.
All right, let's go.
All right, let's go.
Yeah, thank you, man. I'm really pumped for your movie. That sounds like really exciting stuff. So when do you start filming that?
Yeah, thank you, man. I'm really pumped for your movie. That sounds like really exciting stuff. So when do you start filming that?
Yeah, thank you, man. I'm really pumped for your movie. That sounds like really exciting stuff. So when do you start filming that?
Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Don't talk about it. Just do it. Real G's move in silence like lasagna.
Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Don't talk about it. Just do it. Real G's move in silence like lasagna.
Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Don't talk about it. Just do it. Real G's move in silence like lasagna.
I, so I moved to New York in 2020. I was doing it like here and there on like the streets. Cause you had to do it like outside at the time. And I was COVID cause COVID. Yeah. Yeah. And so I did like on and off here and there, but started taking it serious around January of this last year.
I, so I moved to New York in 2020. I was doing it like here and there on like the streets. Cause you had to do it like outside at the time. And I was COVID cause COVID. Yeah. Yeah. And so I did like on and off here and there, but started taking it serious around January of this last year.
I, so I moved to New York in 2020. I was doing it like here and there on like the streets. Cause you had to do it like outside at the time. And I was COVID cause COVID. Yeah. Yeah. And so I did like on and off here and there, but started taking it serious around January of this last year.
I signed with a new network. Have you heard the Unwell Network?
I signed with a new network. Have you heard the Unwell Network?
I signed with a new network. Have you heard the Unwell Network?
With Alex Cooper. Okay. I never thought a day in my life I'd be a diversity hire, but it's all blonde hair, blue eye, pretty girls there.
With Alex Cooper. Okay. I never thought a day in my life I'd be a diversity hire, but it's all blonde hair, blue eye, pretty girls there.
With Alex Cooper. Okay. I never thought a day in my life I'd be a diversity hire, but it's all blonde hair, blue eye, pretty girls there.
Redheaded. I just bring a different kind of flavor.
Redheaded. I just bring a different kind of flavor.
Redheaded. I just bring a different kind of flavor.
I think they might.
I think they might.
I think they might.
That's happened, yes. So that happened like right before the new year.
That's happened, yes. So that happened like right before the new year.
That's happened, yes. So that happened like right before the new year.
I, they helped on it quick.
I, they helped on it quick.
I, they helped on it quick.
Yes. And so I, that happened on, I left Barcelona on Sunday and then I got the call Monday and we had paper signed by Thursday. Wow. So it moved pretty quick, which was kind of crazy.
Yes. And so I, that happened on, I left Barcelona on Sunday and then I got the call Monday and we had paper signed by Thursday. Wow. So it moved pretty quick, which was kind of crazy.
Yes. And so I, that happened on, I left Barcelona on Sunday and then I got the call Monday and we had paper signed by Thursday. Wow. So it moved pretty quick, which was kind of crazy.
Yeah, I'm excited about that.
Yeah, I'm excited about that.
Yeah, I'm excited about that.
I feel good, yeah. Except the one thing I'm concerned about is I don't have health insurance anymore, and I'm going deaf in my left ear.
I feel good, yeah. Except the one thing I'm concerned about is I don't have health insurance anymore, and I'm going deaf in my left ear.
I feel good, yeah. Except the one thing I'm concerned about is I don't have health insurance anymore, and I'm going deaf in my left ear.
So I'm going to have to figure that out.
So I'm going to have to figure that out.
So I'm going to have to figure that out.
I'm going to need a couple of... Plan B pills and whatnot.
I'm going to need a couple of... Plan B pills and whatnot.
I'm going to need a couple of... Plan B pills and whatnot.
I'll get it from Kid Rock. Yeah.
I'll get it from Kid Rock. Yeah.
I'll get it from Kid Rock. Yeah.
Dude, I would fucking rip that left and right if I had the sex.
Dude, I would fucking rip that left and right if I had the sex.
Dude, I would fucking rip that left and right if I had the sex.
I had my first crazy fan bring me a bag of cocaine to my show the other night. Yeah, that was good.
I had my first crazy fan bring me a bag of cocaine to my show the other night. Yeah, that was good.
I had my first crazy fan bring me a bag of cocaine to my show the other night. Yeah, that was good.
They know I like to stuff, but they wrote, we love you so much on a bag of cocaine, which I thought was hilarious.
They know I like to stuff, but they wrote, we love you so much on a bag of cocaine, which I thought was hilarious.
They know I like to stuff, but they wrote, we love you so much on a bag of cocaine, which I thought was hilarious.
It's just interesting.
It's just interesting.
It's just interesting.
I preferred not to just because the circumstantially it was. Unknown where the origin was from. Yeah, absolutely.
I preferred not to just because the circumstantially it was. Unknown where the origin was from. Yeah, absolutely.
I preferred not to just because the circumstantially it was. Unknown where the origin was from. Yeah, absolutely.
I want to get there.
I want to get there.
I want to get there.
You got to be doing something right to get to that point.
You got to be doing something right to get to that point.
You got to be doing something right to get to that point.
Oh, it could have been a fun time or terrorism.
Oh, it could have been a fun time or terrorism.
Oh, it could have been a fun time or terrorism.
I don't have a license.
I don't have a license.
I don't have a license.
I live in New York.
I live in New York.
I live in New York.
Yeah. I used to have it, but I just let it expire. I used to drive. I used to drive. And I had a Lincoln... 2002 Lincoln Presidential Town Car, which is either an elderly person or a pimp. I don't know if you've ever seen those bad boys.
Yeah. I used to have it, but I just let it expire. I used to drive. I used to drive. And I had a Lincoln... 2002 Lincoln Presidential Town Car, which is either an elderly person or a pimp. I don't know if you've ever seen those bad boys.
Yeah. I used to have it, but I just let it expire. I used to drive. I used to drive. And I had a Lincoln... 2002 Lincoln Presidential Town Car, which is either an elderly person or a pimp. I don't know if you've ever seen those bad boys.
Yeah, three in the front, three in the back. That was the fucking cruiser. We loved that thing. It was awesome.
Yeah, three in the front, three in the back. That was the fucking cruiser. We loved that thing. It was awesome.
Yeah, three in the front, three in the back. That was the fucking cruiser. We loved that thing. It was awesome.
That thing was classic.
That thing was classic.
That thing was classic.
Yeah, it still smelled like my dead grandpa.
Yeah, it still smelled like my dead grandpa.
Yeah, it still smelled like my dead grandpa.
I couldn't wait for him to croak to cop that thing.
I couldn't wait for him to croak to cop that thing.
I couldn't wait for him to croak to cop that thing.
Yeah, it's like an oxymoron saying taking it serious because it's comedy. But just, like, going up as much as I could. Like, networking, I guess. And putting myself out there kind of thing. So I've been going up as much as I could. And, uh... Whitney Cummings ended up taking me on the road with her. Oh, Whitney took you on the road with her? My apologies.
Yeah, it's like an oxymoron saying taking it serious because it's comedy. But just, like, going up as much as I could. Like, networking, I guess. And putting myself out there kind of thing. So I've been going up as much as I could. And, uh... Whitney Cummings ended up taking me on the road with her. Oh, Whitney took you on the road with her? My apologies.
Yeah, it's like an oxymoron saying taking it serious because it's comedy. But just, like, going up as much as I could. Like, networking, I guess. And putting myself out there kind of thing. So I've been going up as much as I could. And, uh... Whitney Cummings ended up taking me on the road with her. Oh, Whitney took you on the road with her? My apologies.
We had plenty of room for it. But I never did.
We had plenty of room for it. But I never did.
We had plenty of room for it. But I never did.
It's hopeless. Well, it's fine. I'm not worried about it.
It's hopeless. Well, it's fine. I'm not worried about it.
It's hopeless. Well, it's fine. I'm not worried about it.
I'm not worried about it.
I'm not worried about it.
I'm not worried about it.
I mean, at this point, it's starting to be like, well, the older I get and the bigger reaction that I get when I tell people I've never been in a relationship is when I start to think, yeah, I think the next guy will probably be a forever.
I mean, at this point, it's starting to be like, well, the older I get and the bigger reaction that I get when I tell people I've never been in a relationship is when I start to think, yeah, I think the next guy will probably be a forever.
I mean, at this point, it's starting to be like, well, the older I get and the bigger reaction that I get when I tell people I've never been in a relationship is when I start to think, yeah, I think the next guy will probably be a forever.
He could be a real prick, too. I gotta lock it down.
He could be a real prick, too. I gotta lock it down.
He could be a real prick, too. I gotta lock it down.
Who gives a fuck? Fuck it. I'll tell this story. I had a crush on Shane Gillis for a little bit. Big crush. And I had met him at my work. And, uh, I, I just word vomited. Uh, I was talking to him and I dropped a sandwich that I was eating and he said, are you going to pick that up? And I said, I gotta go. And I just left. Oh yeah.
Who gives a fuck? Fuck it. I'll tell this story. I had a crush on Shane Gillis for a little bit. Big crush. And I had met him at my work. And, uh, I, I just word vomited. Uh, I was talking to him and I dropped a sandwich that I was eating and he said, are you going to pick that up? And I said, I gotta go. And I just left. Oh yeah.
Who gives a fuck? Fuck it. I'll tell this story. I had a crush on Shane Gillis for a little bit. Big crush. And I had met him at my work. And, uh, I, I just word vomited. Uh, I was talking to him and I dropped a sandwich that I was eating and he said, are you going to pick that up? And I said, I gotta go. And I just left. Oh yeah.
And I just kept running into him.
And I just kept running into him.
And I just kept running into him.
Well, I just got really nervous that I wasn't playing cool at all.
Well, I just got really nervous that I wasn't playing cool at all.
Well, I just got really nervous that I wasn't playing cool at all.
No, no. I just, I just, I, I scrammed out of there. Uh, but I just kept running into him that month, like a lot. And it looked like I was stalking him. And, uh, it, it, it ended with, he hosted Saturday Night Live. I was at the after party. And, uh, I'm like, I'm looking at him. I'm like, don't look at him. Don't look at him. And I looked at him. I go, Hey, congrats tonight, man.
No, no. I just, I just, I, I scrammed out of there. Uh, but I just kept running into him that month, like a lot. And it looked like I was stalking him. And, uh, it, it, it ended with, he hosted Saturday Night Live. I was at the after party. And, uh, I'm like, I'm looking at him. I'm like, don't look at him. Don't look at him. And I looked at him. I go, Hey, congrats tonight, man.
No, no. I just, I just, I, I scrammed out of there. Uh, but I just kept running into him that month, like a lot. And it looked like I was stalking him. And, uh, it, it, it ended with, he hosted Saturday Night Live. I was at the after party. And, uh, I'm like, I'm looking at him. I'm like, don't look at him. Don't look at him. And I looked at him. I go, Hey, congrats tonight, man.
He's like, yeah, thank you so much. I said, yeah. Uh, Bet you're going to get mad pussy tonight, bro.
He's like, yeah, thank you so much. I said, yeah. Uh, Bet you're going to get mad pussy tonight, bro.
He's like, yeah, thank you so much. I said, yeah. Uh, Bet you're going to get mad pussy tonight, bro.
You're not supposed to say that one. And he said, what did you say? I said, oh, see ya. And I just left the bathroom line. Dude. I bought him a beer because I felt bad.
You're not supposed to say that one. And he said, what did you say? I said, oh, see ya. And I just left the bathroom line. Dude. I bought him a beer because I felt bad.
You're not supposed to say that one. And he said, what did you say? I said, oh, see ya. And I just left the bathroom line. Dude. I bought him a beer because I felt bad.
That's how I flirt.
That's how I flirt.
That's how I flirt.
That's just like a really great example of how I operate. Yeah. So it all makes sense, right?
That's just like a really great example of how I operate. Yeah. So it all makes sense, right?
That's just like a really great example of how I operate. Yeah. So it all makes sense, right?
This is a new one by him, right? Yeah. From Mr. AB.
This is a new one by him, right? Yeah. From Mr. AB.
This is a new one by him, right? Yeah. From Mr. AB.
AB. He's got, uh, he did like a whole, like he was giving awards out to everybody this year.
AB. He's got, uh, he did like a whole, like he was giving awards out to everybody this year.
AB. He's got, uh, he did like a whole, like he was giving awards out to everybody this year.
Funny. Yeah. Funny as cracker.
Funny. Yeah. Funny as cracker.
Funny. Yeah. Funny as cracker.
I got a new goal for next year.
I got a new goal for next year.
I got a new goal for next year.
Which was sick, yeah. So she put the fire under my ass. She came on. I used to have a podcast. It's no longer, but she came on as a guest, and she was like, I fuck with you. You should open for me. And I'm like... you don't want it. You don't want, you don't want that. And she was like, no, just, just do it. Just say yes. And, uh, it'll, it'll all follow. So she put the fire under my ass.
Which was sick, yeah. So she put the fire under my ass. She came on. I used to have a podcast. It's no longer, but she came on as a guest, and she was like, I fuck with you. You should open for me. And I'm like... you don't want it. You don't want, you don't want that. And she was like, no, just, just do it. Just say yes. And, uh, it'll, it'll all follow. So she put the fire under my ass.
Which was sick, yeah. So she put the fire under my ass. She came on. I used to have a podcast. It's no longer, but she came on as a guest, and she was like, I fuck with you. You should open for me. And I'm like... you don't want it. You don't want, you don't want that. And she was like, no, just, just do it. Just say yes. And, uh, it'll, it'll all follow. So she put the fire under my ass.
What do you get to say? The N word?
What do you get to say? The N word?
What do you get to say? The N word?
It's not that I want to. It's just like, it'd be a nice perk.
It's not that I want to. It's just like, it'd be a nice perk.
It's not that I want to. It's just like, it'd be a nice perk.
And I wonder if you could say it like in public or does it have to be alone in the shower or something?
And I wonder if you could say it like in public or does it have to be alone in the shower or something?
And I wonder if you could say it like in public or does it have to be alone in the shower or something?
And then it'd go downstream.
And then it'd go downstream.
And then it'd go downstream.
No, I've lost pretty much everything I've ever tried to do. But, you know, you can't let that stop you. I lost class clown to some girl who dropped out of high school. Yeah. So we did them at the beginning of the year and she was not there to receive the award at the end of the year.
No, I've lost pretty much everything I've ever tried to do. But, you know, you can't let that stop you. I lost class clown to some girl who dropped out of high school. Yeah. So we did them at the beginning of the year and she was not there to receive the award at the end of the year.
No, I've lost pretty much everything I've ever tried to do. But, you know, you can't let that stop you. I lost class clown to some girl who dropped out of high school. Yeah. So we did them at the beginning of the year and she was not there to receive the award at the end of the year.
That's what I'm saying. It wasn't fair. And I don't think I was eligible because of just being a shithead. I had like a 1.5 GPA.
That's what I'm saying. It wasn't fair. And I don't think I was eligible because of just being a shithead. I had like a 1.5 GPA.
That's what I'm saying. It wasn't fair. And I don't think I was eligible because of just being a shithead. I had like a 1.5 GPA.
I was not. I was too worried about having fun and cracking jokes.
I was not. I was too worried about having fun and cracking jokes.
I was not. I was too worried about having fun and cracking jokes.
I was blasting off, yeah.
I was blasting off, yeah.
I was blasting off, yeah.
I wasn't as like much of a lose. I just wasn't getting laid. But I was cool.
I wasn't as like much of a lose. I just wasn't getting laid. But I was cool.
I wasn't as like much of a lose. I just wasn't getting laid. But I was cool.
Oh, absolutely. People didn't like having me around because if you got stuck with me, you would be dragging me out of the woods. Yeah. Yeah. I would fall flat.
Oh, absolutely. People didn't like having me around because if you got stuck with me, you would be dragging me out of the woods. Yeah. Yeah. I would fall flat.
Oh, absolutely. People didn't like having me around because if you got stuck with me, you would be dragging me out of the woods. Yeah. Yeah. I would fall flat.
If a tree falls in the woods, you're going to hear it. It's grace.
If a tree falls in the woods, you're going to hear it. It's grace.
If a tree falls in the woods, you're going to hear it. It's grace.
Oh, my God. I'd kill myself. I really would. That's so scary.
Oh, my God. I'd kill myself. I really would. That's so scary.
Oh, my God. I'd kill myself. I really would. That's so scary.
He was playing it so cool, too.
He was playing it so cool, too.
He was playing it so cool, too.
I would have been scratching my eyes out. Like, yeah. I can't. I did it one time.
I would have been scratching my eyes out. Like, yeah. I can't. I did it one time.
I would have been scratching my eyes out. Like, yeah. I can't. I did it one time.
Yeah. I wasn't on camera, no. I just, like, in general did it one time. I didn't like it.
Yeah. I wasn't on camera, no. I just, like, in general did it one time. I didn't like it.
Yeah. I wasn't on camera, no. I just, like, in general did it one time. I didn't like it.
It was after a long day of partying. We ripped it at 3 in the morning. So it was a really bad idea. Yeah, really bad idea. Oh, yeah. So I won't be doing that anytime soon. But Molly's a lot better. She's a sweetheart. I like her.
It was after a long day of partying. We ripped it at 3 in the morning. So it was a really bad idea. Yeah, really bad idea. Oh, yeah. So I won't be doing that anytime soon. But Molly's a lot better. She's a sweetheart. I like her.
It was after a long day of partying. We ripped it at 3 in the morning. So it was a really bad idea. Yeah, really bad idea. Oh, yeah. So I won't be doing that anytime soon. But Molly's a lot better. She's a sweetheart. I like her.
Um, so she, she gave me 15, which turned into 20. And, uh, she just kept, I guess I was doing something right. Cause she kept adding me to more cities. So I was like, all right, so I guess I'm doing pretty good. Yeah. That was nice.
Um, so she, she gave me 15, which turned into 20. And, uh, she just kept, I guess I was doing something right. Cause she kept adding me to more cities. So I was like, all right, so I guess I'm doing pretty good. Yeah. That was nice.
Um, so she, she gave me 15, which turned into 20. And, uh, she just kept, I guess I was doing something right. Cause she kept adding me to more cities. So I was like, all right, so I guess I'm doing pretty good. Yeah. That was nice.
It was just children.
It was just children.
It was just children.
It was like the neighbors.
It was like the neighbors.
It was like the neighbors.
Fucking devious on that. You are not a one love hippie on LSD.
Fucking devious on that. You are not a one love hippie on LSD.
Fucking devious on that. You are not a one love hippie on LSD.
And they were all alone with their thoughts.
And they were all alone with their thoughts.
And they were all alone with their thoughts.
Wait, that's classic. You are devious.
Wait, that's classic. You are devious.
Wait, that's classic. You are devious.
can't handle their own goddamn dogs and they can get the fuck out of my face and get out the forest big dog huh if you don't want to link up and get out the food chain that's how you like tear your friends like who can handle it Who can handle being alone? Who can do their drugs?
can't handle their own goddamn dogs and they can get the fuck out of my face and get out the forest big dog huh if you don't want to link up and get out the food chain that's how you like tear your friends like who can handle it Who can handle being alone? Who can do their drugs?
can't handle their own goddamn dogs and they can get the fuck out of my face and get out the forest big dog huh if you don't want to link up and get out the food chain that's how you like tear your friends like who can handle it Who can handle being alone? Who can do their drugs?
I'm from Boston, but like outside of Boston.
I'm from Boston, but like outside of Boston.
I'm from Boston, but like outside of Boston.
And he'd say in the house behind him, like, yeah, why are you being such a gay homo? Yeah.
And he'd say in the house behind him, like, yeah, why are you being such a gay homo? Yeah.
And he'd say in the house behind him, like, yeah, why are you being such a gay homo? Yeah.
And it's short too.
And it's short too.
And it's short too.
Let's cause some chaos.
Let's cause some chaos.
Let's cause some chaos.
Um, Oh, culturally, probably there was, um, there was this thing in the seventies called busing where they brought, um,
Um, Oh, culturally, probably there was, um, there was this thing in the seventies called busing where they brought, um,
Um, Oh, culturally, probably there was, um, there was this thing in the seventies called busing where they brought, um,
african-american children into the city and uh for schooling and for schooling yeah so so uh i some people didn't like that so those people they left and that is unfortunately where i come from that's just oh that's for your family yeah you were birthed out of those people yeah those were those guys people make their choices you know um
african-american children into the city and uh for schooling and for schooling yeah so so uh i some people didn't like that so those people they left and that is unfortunately where i come from that's just oh that's for your family yeah you were birthed out of those people yeah those were those guys people make their choices you know um
african-american children into the city and uh for schooling and for schooling yeah so so uh i some people didn't like that so those people they left and that is unfortunately where i come from that's just oh that's for your family yeah you were birthed out of those people yeah those were those guys people make their choices you know um
That's my biggest fear.
That's my biggest fear.
That's my biggest fear.
Yeah. It, like, freaks me out. It doesn't even run in the family, but that sounds scary.
Yeah. It, like, freaks me out. It doesn't even run in the family, but that sounds scary.
Yeah. It, like, freaks me out. It doesn't even run in the family, but that sounds scary.
Actually, it might run in the family. I got a cousin like that.
Actually, it might run in the family. I got a cousin like that.
Actually, it might run in the family. I got a cousin like that.
I think I do a good job already. I'm saying manly shit to men to flirt with them. Fucking get some tail tonight, brother. Like what?
I think I do a good job already. I'm saying manly shit to men to flirt with them. Fucking get some tail tonight, brother. Like what?
I think I do a good job already. I'm saying manly shit to men to flirt with them. Fucking get some tail tonight, brother. Like what?
Deflate these balls. God. Yeah, that's the unfortunate truth.
Deflate these balls. God. Yeah, that's the unfortunate truth.
Deflate these balls. God. Yeah, that's the unfortunate truth.
Yeah. From where you're from.
Yeah. From where you're from.
Yeah. From where you're from.
Is he also on your team? I feel like you know him.
Is he also on your team? I feel like you know him.
Is he also on your team? I feel like you know him.
When you're going to do legal work, you got to go to ducks.
When you're going to do legal work, you got to go to ducks.
When you're going to do legal work, you got to go to ducks.
I'm like, oh, yeah. Meet me at the Dunks on 15th and 2nd. We'll get to the legal work. We got some legal work. That is so good. And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer.
I'm like, oh, yeah. Meet me at the Dunks on 15th and 2nd. We'll get to the legal work. We got some legal work. That is so good. And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer.
I'm like, oh, yeah. Meet me at the Dunks on 15th and 2nd. We'll get to the legal work. We got some legal work. That is so good. And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer.
Yeah, but it's, you know, it's not as loud as it is down here.
Yeah, but it's, you know, it's not as loud as it is down here.
Yeah, but it's, you know, it's not as loud as it is down here.
I can just do Irish.
I can just do Irish.
I can just do Irish.
Which is probably why I have nothing to talk about.
Which is probably why I have nothing to talk about.
Which is probably why I have nothing to talk about.
Yeah. But by the time I dropped out of college, I had a 4.0.
Yeah. But by the time I dropped out of college, I had a 4.0.
Yeah. But by the time I dropped out of college, I had a 4.0.
Yeah, I found out what Adderall was.
Yeah, I found out what Adderall was.
Yeah, I found out what Adderall was.
So I needed it. Yeah. As it turned out.
So I needed it. Yeah. As it turned out.
So I needed it. Yeah. As it turned out.
They're missing out on, well, the fathers are missing out on loving their children. Yeah. They don't know how to express it.
They're missing out on, well, the fathers are missing out on loving their children. Yeah. They don't know how to express it.
They're missing out on, well, the fathers are missing out on loving their children. Yeah. They don't know how to express it.
Yeah, they can't. God!
Yeah, they can't. God!
Yeah, they can't. God!
Yeah. They just hope that'll equate to love.
Yeah. They just hope that'll equate to love.
Yeah. They just hope that'll equate to love.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We just have just little innuendos of bad history and bad— Bad things we did, I guess. It's still up there, though, for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We just have just little innuendos of bad history and bad— Bad things we did, I guess. It's still up there, though, for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We just have just little innuendos of bad history and bad— Bad things we did, I guess. It's still up there, though, for sure.
Let's think to compare.
Let's think to compare.
Let's think to compare.
Bobby's the Asian representative?
Bobby's the Asian representative?
Bobby's the Asian representative?
You should just meet my dad.
You should just meet my dad.
You should just meet my dad.
Yeah. Who's up there for you? Who haven't you met? And who, on top of that, who was your favorite thus far?
Yeah. Who's up there for you? Who haven't you met? And who, on top of that, who was your favorite thus far?
Yeah. Who's up there for you? Who haven't you met? And who, on top of that, who was your favorite thus far?
You sit down and, like, shoot the shit with him?
You sit down and, like, shoot the shit with him?
You sit down and, like, shoot the shit with him?
Okay. So it is going to be coming out in February. That's great. Uh, everything is completely up in the air right now. Try to figure out what the hell it's going to be. But for the most part, the idea for it is the name is going to be disgraceful and I'm going to have, uh, like guests on every week. And for the first 50 to 20 minutes, they're auditioning to be my new co-host.
Okay. So it is going to be coming out in February. That's great. Uh, everything is completely up in the air right now. Try to figure out what the hell it's going to be. But for the most part, the idea for it is the name is going to be disgraceful and I'm going to have, uh, like guests on every week. And for the first 50 to 20 minutes, they're auditioning to be my new co-host.
Okay. So it is going to be coming out in February. That's great. Uh, everything is completely up in the air right now. Try to figure out what the hell it's going to be. But for the most part, the idea for it is the name is going to be disgraceful and I'm going to have, uh, like guests on every week. And for the first 50 to 20 minutes, they're auditioning to be my new co-host.
No, he wanted to be a police officer. Ended up being an electrician. But he fucked that up, too.
No, he wanted to be a police officer. Ended up being an electrician. But he fucked that up, too.
No, he wanted to be a police officer. Ended up being an electrician. But he fucked that up, too.
Cause I, I need a new co-host. So that's like the niche there. And then after that, hopefully we'll, we'll shoot the shit. I'll get to practice in a little more and be a little better for, for that.
Cause I, I need a new co-host. So that's like the niche there. And then after that, hopefully we'll, we'll shoot the shit. I'll get to practice in a little more and be a little better for, for that.
Cause I, I need a new co-host. So that's like the niche there. And then after that, hopefully we'll, we'll shoot the shit. I'll get to practice in a little more and be a little better for, for that.
Um, that's the thing. It's all just a gimmick. I'm never, I'm never probably going to have a host.
Um, that's the thing. It's all just a gimmick. I'm never, I'm never probably going to have a host.
Um, that's the thing. It's all just a gimmick. I'm never, I'm never probably going to have a host.
We'll see how it goes.
We'll see how it goes.
We'll see how it goes.
Possibility. Like, um, Alex suggested, um, Alex Cooper, Alex Cooper suggested that, um, from color daddy.
Possibility. Like, um, Alex suggested, um, Alex Cooper, Alex Cooper suggested that, um, from color daddy.
Possibility. Like, um, Alex suggested, um, Alex Cooper, Alex Cooper suggested that, um, from color daddy.
So I had, I had pitched her my idea for this podcast and she was like, yeah, that's awesome. But what if you did a podcast with like Blake Griffin? I'm like, what? So that's the idea that she has for it. So we're going to figure out something somewhere in the middle. Something like that, yeah. That was just like a little behind-the-scenes kind of phone call. So we'll see how it goes.
So I had, I had pitched her my idea for this podcast and she was like, yeah, that's awesome. But what if you did a podcast with like Blake Griffin? I'm like, what? So that's the idea that she has for it. So we're going to figure out something somewhere in the middle. Something like that, yeah. That was just like a little behind-the-scenes kind of phone call. So we'll see how it goes.
So I had, I had pitched her my idea for this podcast and she was like, yeah, that's awesome. But what if you did a podcast with like Blake Griffin? I'm like, what? So that's the idea that she has for it. So we're going to figure out something somewhere in the middle. Something like that, yeah. That was just like a little behind-the-scenes kind of phone call. So we'll see how it goes.
Yeah, he got electrocuted.
Yeah, he got electrocuted.
Yeah, he got electrocuted.
I get a final say, yeah.
I get a final say, yeah.
I get a final say, yeah.
So I think I'm going to stick to my guns. Yeah.
So I think I'm going to stick to my guns. Yeah.
So I think I'm going to stick to my guns. Yeah.
Yep. And despite everything I've said on this podcast, it is a good show. So come on out.
Yep. And despite everything I've said on this podcast, it is a good show. So come on out.
Yep. And despite everything I've said on this podcast, it is a good show. So come on out.
Yeah, on the job. Oh, yeah. And he said he saw God. He started to be a believer. And Tyler Childers walked him into heaven when he died.
Yeah, on the job. Oh, yeah. And he said he saw God. He started to be a believer. And Tyler Childers walked him into heaven when he died.
Yeah, on the job. Oh, yeah. And he said he saw God. He started to be a believer. And Tyler Childers walked him into heaven when he died.
oh yeah I believe that it is I almost stayed I wanted to stay there I think I got nervous there were so many girls in there a lot of girls yeah it's like a slumber party yeah and then I just my whole time I'm just trying to make the boyfriends laugh yeah because they don't want to be there oh they are so I like really try my best to make them laugh the most
oh yeah I believe that it is I almost stayed I wanted to stay there I think I got nervous there were so many girls in there a lot of girls yeah it's like a slumber party yeah and then I just my whole time I'm just trying to make the boyfriends laugh yeah because they don't want to be there oh they are so I like really try my best to make them laugh the most
oh yeah I believe that it is I almost stayed I wanted to stay there I think I got nervous there were so many girls in there a lot of girls yeah it's like a slumber party yeah and then I just my whole time I'm just trying to make the boyfriends laugh yeah because they don't want to be there oh they are so I like really try my best to make them laugh the most
Yeah, totally. I mean, I just did a New Year's Eve show. So everyone, three, two, one, everyone started kissing. I'm like, I'm still on stage by myself. It's like a double whammy fuck you. I was like, this is nice.
Yeah, totally. I mean, I just did a New Year's Eve show. So everyone, three, two, one, everyone started kissing. I'm like, I'm still on stage by myself. It's like a double whammy fuck you. I was like, this is nice.
Yeah, totally. I mean, I just did a New Year's Eve show. So everyone, three, two, one, everyone started kissing. I'm like, I'm still on stage by myself. It's like a double whammy fuck you. I was like, this is nice.
I just, I started, I just grabbed the bouncer. I just fucked him on stage there. No, I started, I started shotgunning beers. So I felt less lonely. Yes, I swear to God.
I just, I started, I just grabbed the bouncer. I just fucked him on stage there. No, I started, I started shotgunning beers. So I felt less lonely. Yes, I swear to God.
I just, I started, I just grabbed the bouncer. I just fucked him on stage there. No, I started, I started shotgunning beers. So I felt less lonely. Yes, I swear to God.
Fuck this year, that's for sure.
Fuck this year, that's for sure.
Fuck this year, that's for sure.
Yeah. It's just, there's no way, it's not a way for a woman to talk. Quack. Yeah.
Yeah. It's just, there's no way, it's not a way for a woman to talk. Quack. Yeah.
Yeah. It's just, there's no way, it's not a way for a woman to talk. Quack. Yeah.
The musician walked him into the pearly gates. So that's my father.
The musician walked him into the pearly gates. So that's my father.
The musician walked him into the pearly gates. So that's my father.
Medford, yeah. Medford. That's a town.
Medford, yeah. Medford. That's a town.
Medford, yeah. Medford. That's a town.
Yeah, that's the kind of guys up there. They'll throw their wives across a car to impress their boys. Oh, yeah. They're kind of gay for it.
Yeah, that's the kind of guys up there. They'll throw their wives across a car to impress their boys. Oh, yeah. They're kind of gay for it.
Yeah, that's the kind of guys up there. They'll throw their wives across a car to impress their boys. Oh, yeah. They're kind of gay for it.
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. But, like, that guy's still alive, so I don't know what that illusion was with him. I'm not really sure.
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. But, like, that guy's still alive, so I don't know what that illusion was with him. I'm not really sure.
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. But, like, that guy's still alive, so I don't know what that illusion was with him. I'm not really sure.
Get porked at least once.
Get porked at least once.
Get porked at least once.
And then we'll go...
And then we'll go...
And then we'll go...
getting slammed now we talking we're talking i'll take it wherever i can get it this is a christian program oh is it now my apologies so you're right at home go ahead um yeah no uh and then i'm trying to cut back on drinking i have a drinking problem you do i'm a functioning alcoholic oh yeah yeah big time so i'm trying to i'm trying to kick back okay let's start with the dry january and see where that goes
getting slammed now we talking we're talking i'll take it wherever i can get it this is a christian program oh is it now my apologies so you're right at home go ahead um yeah no uh and then i'm trying to cut back on drinking i have a drinking problem you do i'm a functioning alcoholic oh yeah yeah big time so i'm trying to i'm trying to kick back okay let's start with the dry january and see where that goes
getting slammed now we talking we're talking i'll take it wherever i can get it this is a christian program oh is it now my apologies so you're right at home go ahead um yeah no uh and then i'm trying to cut back on drinking i have a drinking problem you do i'm a functioning alcoholic oh yeah yeah big time so i'm trying to i'm trying to kick back okay let's start with the dry january and see where that goes
Oh, yeah. I missed the first day, but what are you going to do?
Oh, yeah. I missed the first day, but what are you going to do?
Oh, yeah. I missed the first day, but what are you going to do?
I'm on Holland time. Fuck it.
I'm on Holland time. Fuck it.
I'm on Holland time. Fuck it.
So stop dating. Girls with no personality?
So stop dating. Girls with no personality?
So stop dating. Girls with no personality?
It's not all that bad.
It's not all that bad.
It's not all that bad.
And then – Your nightmare is my every day. I don't know. Yeah.
And then – Your nightmare is my every day. I don't know. Yeah.
And then – Your nightmare is my every day. I don't know. Yeah.
Yeah, it's really sweet, but that makes me, it's like, oh, that's potential.
Yeah, it's really sweet, but that makes me, it's like, oh, that's potential.
Yeah, it's really sweet, but that makes me, it's like, oh, that's potential.
You read a lot last year?
You read a lot last year?
You read a lot last year?
Yeah, I don't know how to slow it down.
Yeah, I don't know how to slow it down.
Yeah, I don't know how to slow it down.
There you go. 2020 wife.
There you go. 2020 wife.
There you go. 2020 wife.
Yeah, there you go. Then you can hang out with your other friends. Yeah.
Yeah, there you go. Then you can hang out with your other friends. Yeah.
Yeah, there you go. Then you can hang out with your other friends. Yeah.
Look at her. Look at her. She give me pizza.
Look at her. Look at her. She give me pizza.
Look at her. Look at her. She give me pizza.
Happy New Year, man. Thank you very much. It was an honor, truly and honestly.
Happy New Year, man. Thank you very much. It was an honor, truly and honestly.
Happy New Year, man. Thank you very much. It was an honor, truly and honestly.
Yeah, like you were having a bad dream, and then you woke up and you were blasted.
Yeah, like you were having a bad dream, and then you woke up and you were blasted.
Yeah, like you were having a bad dream, and then you woke up and you were blasted.
But it's going to take.
But it's going to take.
But it's going to take.
A little fork in the outlet action?
A little fork in the outlet action?
A little fork in the outlet action?
Oh, little test monkeys. Yeah.
Oh, little test monkeys. Yeah.
Oh, little test monkeys. Yeah.
He's going to be a superhero.
He's going to be a superhero.
He's going to be a superhero.
That sounds really wrong, too.
That sounds really wrong, too.
That sounds really wrong, too.
Yeah, no, that's fair. I think crab meat should be fresh from the ocean. Like, right from the ocean. When we got here this weekend, I had crab legs. I'm like, what am I doing? I've shit my brains out this whole last couple days. We're in landlocked right now, right? Yeah, I don't know what I was doing.
Yeah, no, that's fair. I think crab meat should be fresh from the ocean. Like, right from the ocean. When we got here this weekend, I had crab legs. I'm like, what am I doing? I've shit my brains out this whole last couple days. We're in landlocked right now, right? Yeah, I don't know what I was doing.
Yeah, no, that's fair. I think crab meat should be fresh from the ocean. Like, right from the ocean. When we got here this weekend, I had crab legs. I'm like, what am I doing? I've shit my brains out this whole last couple days. We're in landlocked right now, right? Yeah, I don't know what I was doing.
I've never had money before, so I was like, yeah, we'll get some crab legs. This is sick.
I've never had money before, so I was like, yeah, we'll get some crab legs. This is sick.
I've never had money before, so I was like, yeah, we'll get some crab legs. This is sick.
I feel fucking stupid.
I feel fucking stupid.
I feel fucking stupid.
What else is wicked gay that I could get?
What else is wicked gay that I could get?
What else is wicked gay that I could get?
Are you guys on a basis of like talking? No. Okay.
Are you guys on a basis of like talking? No. Okay.
Are you guys on a basis of like talking? No. Okay.
Fuck. I forget who it was, but they said tinted windows don't mean nothing. They know who's inside.
Fuck. I forget who it was, but they said tinted windows don't mean nothing. They know who's inside.
Fuck. I forget who it was, but they said tinted windows don't mean nothing. They know who's inside.
Yeah. Fuck. So you're fucked. And so is the guy who waited five years for a Cybertruck just to blow it up. What a science experiment.
Yeah. Fuck. So you're fucked. And so is the guy who waited five years for a Cybertruck just to blow it up. What a science experiment.
Yeah. Fuck. So you're fucked. And so is the guy who waited five years for a Cybertruck just to blow it up. What a science experiment.
Yeah, that's a goodie.
Yeah, that's a goodie.
Yeah, that's a goodie.
That's what it does look like. It does look like a spectacle. I think it was a political point in front of Trump.
That's what it does look like. It does look like a spectacle. I think it was a political point in front of Trump.
That's what it does look like. It does look like a spectacle. I think it was a political point in front of Trump.
I think one person did die, so it's tough to find a joke there.
I think one person did die, so it's tough to find a joke there.
I think one person did die, so it's tough to find a joke there.
I'm going to blow a lid.
I'm going to blow a lid.
I'm going to blow a lid.
Because I've been looking. I've told my friends before. I don't get laid much. That's just a fact about me. But I told my friends, just surprise me with a hooker one day. And don't tell me it's a hooker.
Because I've been looking. I've told my friends before. I don't get laid much. That's just a fact about me. But I told my friends, just surprise me with a hooker one day. And don't tell me it's a hooker.
Because I've been looking. I've told my friends before. I don't get laid much. That's just a fact about me. But I told my friends, just surprise me with a hooker one day. And don't tell me it's a hooker.
A male hooker. They exist? I'm not sure.
A male hooker. They exist? I'm not sure.
A male hooker. They exist? I'm not sure.
He rocks in my house and he rocks in my yard.
He rocks in my house and he rocks in my yard.
He rocks in my house and he rocks in my yard.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You'll never work in this town again.
You'll never work in this town again.
You'll never work in this town again.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
My new segment fell flat on its face.
My new segment fell flat on its face.
My new segment fell flat on its face.
Good question.
Good question.
Good question.
Don't you dare. He's cooking. This is like... That was well done.
Don't you dare. He's cooking. This is like... That was well done.
Don't you dare. He's cooking. This is like... That was well done.
A wooden cookie spoon.
A wooden cookie spoon.
A wooden cookie spoon.
Oh, getting rage head. Road rage head. Road rage head. Feels awesome! Get out. I'm trying to merge.
Oh, getting rage head. Road rage head. Road rage head. Feels awesome! Get out. I'm trying to merge.
Oh, getting rage head. Road rage head. Road rage head. Feels awesome! Get out. I'm trying to merge.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Burger King mascot. Oh, yes. Nice.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Burger King mascot. Oh, yes. Nice.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Burger King mascot. Oh, yes. Nice.
25?
25?
25?