Greg McKeown

So somebody who's a neutral third party who is just there to help people

do that because it sounds so simple but my goodness in practice people can struggle with this so deeply it can be one of the hardest things they've ever tried to do and then at the end he throws down this gauntlet in a way he says what we need to do is take this test tube solution we need to replicate it we need to codify it refine it scale it so 72 years later

I can't find any academic publication that has done this.

Now there might be, it could be under different names and so on.

I don't know, but I've looked pretty deeply and can't find anything.

And that's what I've been doing is to try to do that.

And so one of the things in the process, so we've been literally built a listening lab.

We bring two people in at a time and help facilitate this rule.

And so all sorts of people, head teacher, principal, and one of their teachers, police chief, one of his direct reports, we have husbands and wives, we've had parents and children, all sorts of dynamics, business and non-business, business partners, all sorts.

And have been studying the interchange and how, what to do and so on.

You can simplify this process

process into a four-word loop.

And it's this, right?

It's listen, reflect, speak, confirm.

That's it, right?

That's the entry point.

Yeah, it's pretty simple.

It's a loop that really matters.

And there's a balancing within these steps because listen is, okay, that's me making it safe, let's say, for you to say what you mean.

And the reflect is then me trying to find words to name what it is that you haven't yet said out loud, but you really do mean better than you can.