Gustavo

School's out for summer. School's out forever.

School's out for summer. School's out forever.

So the principal, who we know is a very lovely lady, she comes out and she's like, okay, now we're going to bring out the very little ones first. And because they are very scared of loud noises, let's all not scare them.

So the principal, who we know is a very lovely lady, she comes out and she's like, okay, now we're going to bring out the very little ones first. And because they are very scared of loud noises, let's all not scare them.

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy runs off into the crowd.

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy runs off into the crowd.

Gustavo. Gustavo. Gustavo.

Gustavo. Gustavo. Gustavo.

I love it.

I love it.

And now Chrissy has stepped out of the room so that we can have just a chat, him and I, because I think he's a little bit nervous. He doesn't want a crowd here. Absolutely. But the very lovely, always welcome in my studio, probably the first commercial break fan ever, I would assume.

And now Chrissy has stepped out of the room so that we can have just a chat, him and I, because I think he's a little bit nervous. He doesn't want a crowd here. Absolutely. But the very lovely, always welcome in my studio, probably the first commercial break fan ever, I would assume.

Gustavo. He's even got a song about him here on the show. That's right.

Gustavo. He's even got a song about him here on the show. That's right.

You are a man of mystery in a lot of ways. And I find you to be mysterious. There are something... It's such an open book in so many ways. There's really not a lot to be hidden. But then in other ways... You are a complete mystery to me. Here's a mystery that I have that I've shared with the listeners on the show. But now that you're here, this is my brother-in-law, by the way.

You are a man of mystery in a lot of ways. And I find you to be mysterious. There are something... It's such an open book in so many ways. There's really not a lot to be hidden. But then in other ways... You are a complete mystery to me. Here's a mystery that I have that I've shared with the listeners on the show. But now that you're here, this is my brother-in-law, by the way.

He's talked about a lot on the show. You better be careful. Yeah, I know. Who do you think would win? If you and I got in an argument, who do you think your sister would favor? Matias. She would run away. It's probably a smart thing to do, actually. I wouldn't pick sides either. I'd be like, I'm out of this one. I'm out of this one. That's what she would do.

He's talked about a lot on the show. You better be careful. Yeah, I know. Who do you think would win? If you and I got in an argument, who do you think your sister would favor? Matias. She would run away. It's probably a smart thing to do, actually. I wouldn't pick sides either. I'd be like, I'm out of this one. I'm out of this one. That's what she would do.

You were here over Thanksgiving, and you had an engagement ring burning a hole in your pocket.

You were here over Thanksgiving, and you had an engagement ring burning a hole in your pocket.

And yet, you didn't ask me for help.

And yet, you didn't ask me for help.

You couldn't have just pulled me a... I was telling you. What were you thinking about? You were giving me the ring finger like this?

You couldn't have just pulled me a... I was telling you. What were you thinking about? You were giving me the ring finger like this?

He was dropping secret notes in my late night cereal and cream bowl, and I just didn't get it. I ate them.

He was dropping secret notes in my late night cereal and cream bowl, and I just didn't get it. I ate them.

You can answer me. First of all, congratulations on the engagement. Thank you so much. Ali is a wonderful woman, and you're lucky to have her. You're lucky you have anyone. What's that? Because I know you. Because I know you and I know her. You know, there's a saying in English. You've outclassed it, right? I don't know what that means. You married up. You're going to marry up, so to speak.

You can answer me. First of all, congratulations on the engagement. Thank you so much. Ali is a wonderful woman, and you're lucky to have her. You're lucky you have anyone. What's that? Because I know you. Because I know you and I know her. You know, there's a saying in English. You've outclassed it, right? I don't know what that means. You married up. You're going to marry up, so to speak.

And I hope I get a good place at the wedding. I just want a front row seat to see if this actually happens. It'll depend after this episode. Okay, we'll see how that goes. How did you ask Ali to marry you is the question that's burning everybody's...

And I hope I get a good place at the wedding. I just want a front row seat to see if this actually happens. It'll depend after this episode. Okay, we'll see how that goes. How did you ask Ali to marry you is the question that's burning everybody's...

What's the name of the lake? Do you even remember? Do you even know?

What's the name of the lake? Do you even remember? Do you even know?

Lake Brian.

Lake Brian.

You had to invite her 20 times? She didn't want to come. She didn't accept my invitations.

You had to invite her 20 times? She didn't want to come. She didn't accept my invitations.

I think this is the funniest story. I really do. Gustavo's here. And Gustavo, his intention is to get Ale to the waterfall, which is quite beautiful, by the way, to get her to the waterfall so he can romantically propose to her in a natural setting, you know, by themselves, like having a romantic moment.

I think this is the funniest story. I really do. Gustavo's here. And Gustavo, his intention is to get Ale to the waterfall, which is quite beautiful, by the way, to get her to the waterfall so he can romantically propose to her in a natural setting, you know, by themselves, like having a romantic moment.

but Gustavo cannot convince Ale to go and Astrid does him no favors because she's also like ah why do you want to go there it's cold it's cold no one wants to go there they prefer to play board games with me You could have asked her right there at the board games. Well, congratulations in any case. Thank you so much. Congratulations.

but Gustavo cannot convince Ale to go and Astrid does him no favors because she's also like ah why do you want to go there it's cold it's cold no one wants to go there they prefer to play board games with me You could have asked her right there at the board games. Well, congratulations in any case. Thank you so much. Congratulations.

You're now here in the United States on the student visa program. We'll see how long you get to stay. But I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for you to stay all the way through. I'm rooting for me also.

You're now here in the United States on the student visa program. We'll see how long you get to stay. But I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for you to stay all the way through. I'm rooting for me also.

Well, I have some doubts about whether or not you're going to stay past January 21st. We'll see how it happens. So, you know, true or false, I am now the most famous Venezuelan you know.

Well, I have some doubts about whether or not you're going to stay past January 21st. We'll see how it happens. So, you know, true or false, I am now the most famous Venezuelan you know.

You? Yes. That you know, that you personally know.

You? Yes. That you know, that you personally know.

Okay.

Okay.

You give me the words and I'll see if I understand them.

You give me the words and I'll see if I understand them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah.

I'm not making it into Venezuela?

I'm not making it into Venezuela?

Chevere. Chevere. Chevere. Yeah, right. Uncle Google? No. Chevere. Oh, man. How do I use it in a sentence? Let's say that we went to the Braves game, right? And the Braves won. I would be like, man, that's chevre, right?

Chevere. Chevere. Chevere. Yeah, right. Uncle Google? No. Chevere. Oh, man. How do I use it in a sentence? Let's say that we went to the Braves game, right? And the Braves won. I would be like, man, that's chevre, right?

It was awesome. I'll handle it. Is that fair enough?

It was awesome. I'll handle it. Is that fair enough?

That's right. You're not chevre.

That's right. You're not chevre.

It's the thing that cleans your floor. Rumba.

It's the thing that cleans your floor. Rumba.

A Roomba is like a little get-together with cocktails. A little informal party or a formal party?

A Roomba is like a little get-together with cocktails. A little informal party or a formal party?

I am now the most famous Venezuelan you know.

I am now the most famous Venezuelan you know.

A really good party. Oh, a really good party. Like a hoedown, a jam.

A really good party. Oh, a really good party. Like a hoedown, a jam.

No, I don't think I'd pass that one. I honestly thought Roomba was the thing that closed. No, I thought Roomba was like, I didn't think it was a party. I thought it was like a festival. I thought Roomba was like going to a festival.

No, I don't think I'd pass that one. I honestly thought Roomba was the thing that closed. No, I thought Roomba was like, I didn't think it was a party. I thought it was like a festival. I thought Roomba was like going to a festival.

All right. All right. Give me another one.

All right. All right. Give me another one.

Coñazo. I don't know. I have no idea what coñazo means.

Coñazo. I don't know. I have no idea what coñazo means.

A spanking? Like a hitting? Like a slapping? A beating? Yeah. Coñazo means a beating? That's right. Really? Yeah.

A spanking? Like a hitting? Like a slapping? A beating? Yeah. Coñazo means a beating? That's right. Really? Yeah.

Right now. You? Yes. That you know. That you personally know.

Right now. You? Yes. That you know. That you personally know.

I think the first Venezuelan slang that I – okay, so you know Rafael. Yeah, of course. Rafael's mother.

I think the first Venezuelan slang that I – okay, so you know Rafael. Yeah, of course. Rafael's mother.

Yeah, he's your cousin. Rafael, just to put kind of the family tree together for those listening. Rafael is my best friend, is kind of the connection, the reason why I met Astrid. Rafael and I have been friends for almost 30 years. Rafael's mother, I would listen to her. She was like one of the first Venezuelans that I knew besides Rafael. And she's like from Venezuela, right?

Yeah, he's your cousin. Rafael, just to put kind of the family tree together for those listening. Rafael is my best friend, is kind of the connection, the reason why I met Astrid. Rafael and I have been friends for almost 30 years. Rafael's mother, I would listen to her. She was like one of the first Venezuelans that I knew besides Rafael. And she's like from Venezuela, right?

Really from Venezuela. Spent most of her life there. She used this word, ecte. Ecte. Ecte. Ecte. Do you know what this means? I think you forgot the real thing. So listen, here's the story. So then I would go around when I was using Spanish and I would say, este, este, este, to Rafael. And he was like, why are you using that dumb word? What does that mean, dude? And I go, doesn't it mean okay?

Really from Venezuela. Spent most of her life there. She used this word, ecte. Ecte. Ecte. Ecte. Do you know what this means? I think you forgot the real thing. So listen, here's the story. So then I would go around when I was using Spanish and I would say, este, este, este, to Rafael. And he was like, why are you using that dumb word? What does that mean, dude? And I go, doesn't it mean okay?

And he goes, no, that's my mom's terrible way of saying este. She says, este, este, este. Este. Este. This. This. This. Okay. Which is a word that she would use to like, like a punctuation on something like this. You know what I'm saying? Ecte.

And he goes, no, that's my mom's terrible way of saying este. She says, este, este, este. Este. Este. This. This. This. Okay. Which is a word that she would use to like, like a punctuation on something like this. You know what I'm saying? Ecte.

That's metacaiban, I think.

That's metacaiban, I think.

Okay.

Okay.

Tell me the story about nosotros.

Tell me the story about nosotros.

I was. I did take Spanish classes for a while.

I was. I did take Spanish classes for a while.

She was very difficult, yes.

She was very difficult, yes.

Nosotros. But you couldn't pronounce it. Oh, that's right. You couldn't pronounce it. You're reminding me now. He was like, nos otros. Nos otros. So I would say, nos otros, which means we, right? So I would say, nos otros. That's right. And she would go, et no otros? Yeah. Do I say Brianne? Do I go Brianne? That's not how you say it?

Nosotros. But you couldn't pronounce it. Oh, that's right. You couldn't pronounce it. You're reminding me now. He was like, nos otros. Nos otros. So I would say, nos otros, which means we, right? So I would say, nos otros. That's right. And she would go, et no otros? Yeah. Do I say Brianne? Do I go Brianne? That's not how you say it?

You give me the words and I'll see if I understand them.

You give me the words and I'll see if I understand them.

And it's like a child's Spanish book, right? She's giving like these children's workbooks. And here's the craziest thing about this lady. We would meet at a Starbucks most of the time because when we met at the library for a while, but she was so loud and aggressive that the librarian asked us to make it somewhere else. So then I would get a cognosin or a cognoso, a cognose, whatever.

And it's like a child's Spanish book, right? She's giving like these children's workbooks. And here's the craziest thing about this lady. We would meet at a Starbucks most of the time because when we met at the library for a while, but she was so loud and aggressive that the librarian asked us to make it somewhere else. So then I would get a cognosin or a cognoso, a cognose, whatever.

They didn't accept me. Now I speak English and they love me or hate me, I guess, depending on what it is. That's right. You're very careful. So, you know, I didn't have AI when I first met Astrid. The what? AI. Like ChatGPG or something like that.

They didn't accept me. Now I speak English and they love me or hate me, I guess, depending on what it is. That's right. You're very careful. So, you know, I didn't have AI when I first met Astrid. The what? AI. Like ChatGPG or something like that.

I'm not making it into Venezuela? All right. Okay.

I'm not making it into Venezuela? All right. Okay.

No, I don't even think that I knew what Google Translate was at the time. I think I went to the internet and searched out the words that I wanted to say. The words I didn't know in Spanish. And when I put those words together, it apparently sounded so incredibly dumb that Astrid responded in English. I can imagine. Yeah, she was like, listen, I speak English. You don't need to speak Spanish.

No, I don't even think that I knew what Google Translate was at the time. I think I went to the internet and searched out the words that I wanted to say. The words I didn't know in Spanish. And when I put those words together, it apparently sounded so incredibly dumb that Astrid responded in English. I can imagine. Yeah, she was like, listen, I speak English. You don't need to speak Spanish.

But one of the... If I had... And I think I found Google Translate pretty quickly after that. But had AI been around, I think I probably would have gotten with your sister a lot quicker. It would have been much easier.

But one of the... If I had... And I think I found Google Translate pretty quickly after that. But had AI been around, I think I probably would have gotten with your sister a lot quicker. It would have been much easier.

A lavia? Yeah. Like bullshit flowing out of my mouth like a volcano? Yeah.

A lavia? Yeah. Like bullshit flowing out of my mouth like a volcano? Yeah.

Yes. You have that talent. I think in English you would either say affable or like you might be referred to as a people person. Okay, yeah. But I think that's kind of dumb because I don't know too many people that aren't people persons, you know, like who doesn't like people or who doesn't have one other person.

Yes. You have that talent. I think in English you would either say affable or like you might be referred to as a people person. Okay, yeah. But I think that's kind of dumb because I don't know too many people that aren't people persons, you know, like who doesn't like people or who doesn't have one other person.

Yeah, listen, you take me to a place like Great Wolf Lodge, and I quickly don't like people.

Yeah, listen, you take me to a place like Great Wolf Lodge, and I quickly don't like people.

That's it.

That's it.

So I asked Chad GPT earlier today – I said, hey, ChatGPT. It's not really ChatGPT. It's a different one, but I'm not going to say the name here on air because they're not the sponsor. It's like ChatGPT. It starts with a G? What's that? It starts with a G? No, I'll show it to you after you get it. I said, hey, if I'm dating someone from Venezuela and I want to...

So I asked Chad GPT earlier today – I said, hey, ChatGPT. It's not really ChatGPT. It's a different one, but I'm not going to say the name here on air because they're not the sponsor. It's like ChatGPT. It starts with a G? What's that? It starts with a G? No, I'll show it to you after you get it. I said, hey, if I'm dating someone from Venezuela and I want to...

uh know who they are like i want to i want to impress them what are some of the things i need to know about to impress them that's good right and so they put out a list of things and i think it's pretty dead on i want to share it with you this is 20 things we'll go through a few okay Number one, family values. Family is extremely important to the Venezuelan culture.

uh know who they are like i want to i want to impress them what are some of the things i need to know about to impress them that's good right and so they put out a list of things and i think it's pretty dead on i want to share it with you this is 20 things we'll go through a few okay Number one, family values. Family is extremely important to the Venezuelan culture.

Expect to meet family members early on and be prepared for family gatherings at a regular pace. What it doesn't say is prepare three or four extra bedrooms in your house for a nonstop flow of Venezuelans.

Expect to meet family members early on and be prepared for family gatherings at a regular pace. What it doesn't say is prepare three or four extra bedrooms in your house for a nonstop flow of Venezuelans.

You have to become part of the family. And I think that is why, quite frankly, I feel so... indebted and ingrained in the Venezuelan culture is because when I met Raphael early on, here's the story, you ready? Raphael and I met at a restaurant. I was working at one restaurant, he was working at the other, they were the same restaurant, two different locations, two little Italian restaurants.

You have to become part of the family. And I think that is why, quite frankly, I feel so... indebted and ingrained in the Venezuelan culture is because when I met Raphael early on, here's the story, you ready? Raphael and I met at a restaurant. I was working at one restaurant, he was working at the other, they were the same restaurant, two different locations, two little Italian restaurants.

The owner wanted him to come work at the one over where I was working. And I'd been working at this restaurant for like four or five months. Didn't know Raphael, never met him. He comes over. He's sitting at the end of the bar. I'm bartending. Quickly, we strike up a conversation. And fast forward to six or seven hours later, we are incredibly intoxicated at the bar across the street.

The owner wanted him to come work at the one over where I was working. And I'd been working at this restaurant for like four or five months. Didn't know Raphael, never met him. He comes over. He's sitting at the end of the bar. I'm bartending. Quickly, we strike up a conversation. And fast forward to six or seven hours later, we are incredibly intoxicated at the bar across the street.

And his grandparents, where he was living at the time, lived in the townhouse behind that bar, like half a mile behind the bar. Okay. So the bar closes, 3, 4 in the morning, bar closes. We are 30 drinks into it. I mean, we are just shithoused. And I'm like, I got to call a cab home. And he's like, no, fuck that, dude. We'll go to this gas station. We'll grab a six-pack of beer.

And his grandparents, where he was living at the time, lived in the townhouse behind that bar, like half a mile behind the bar. Okay. So the bar closes, 3, 4 in the morning, bar closes. We are 30 drinks into it. I mean, we are just shithoused. And I'm like, I got to call a cab home. And he's like, no, fuck that, dude. We'll go to this gas station. We'll grab a six-pack of beer.

We'll go to my grandparents' house where I live. So I said, oh, your grandparents are going to let me stay there? And he said, my grandparents, they wouldn't have it any other way. You need to come to my grandparents' house. They'll cook us food.

We'll go to my grandparents' house where I live. So I said, oh, your grandparents are going to let me stay there? And he said, my grandparents, they wouldn't have it any other way. You need to come to my grandparents' house. They'll cook us food.

This is like Waffle House? I had no understanding of Venezuela.

This is like Waffle House? I had no understanding of Venezuela.

We walked to the townhouse. We open up the door. We're trying to be quiet so as not to wake up his grandparents. We go up these little stairs. We turn the corner. He opens the door. There's a bed, TV, fan. Looks perfect for me, right? Place where I can sleep with a little bit of air blowing on my face and a TV. So he says, go ahead, brother. Go ahead. Go to bed.

We walked to the townhouse. We open up the door. We're trying to be quiet so as not to wake up his grandparents. We go up these little stairs. We turn the corner. He opens the door. There's a bed, TV, fan. Looks perfect for me, right? Place where I can sleep with a little bit of air blowing on my face and a TV. So he says, go ahead, brother. Go ahead. Go to bed.

Celebrating the very first international match here in the Miami stadium of Venezuela versus the United States this afternoon, 3 p.m. I think you can watch it on Max TNT and a couple other places. That's right. So here we are giving you a special episode to celebrate this very unique meeting of two lovely countries, the United States and Venezuela, soon to be much more similar than ever before.

Celebrating the very first international match here in the Miami stadium of Venezuela versus the United States this afternoon, 3 p.m. I think you can watch it on Max TNT and a couple other places. That's right. So here we are giving you a special episode to celebrate this very unique meeting of two lovely countries, the United States and Venezuela, soon to be much more similar than ever before.

I'm going to go brush my teeth and stuff. And I'm like, cool, bro. See you later. Good night. And he's like, good night, bro. And I jump in the bed.

I'm going to go brush my teeth and stuff. And I'm like, cool, bro. See you later. Good night. And he's like, good night, bro. And I jump in the bed.

And I jump in the bed. And a couple of minutes later, I hear the door open. You woke up the grandpa because he was sleeping on the bed? No. I hear the door open. Didn't think anything of it. Maybe somebody forgot something. They don't know me. Us Irish people, we just play dead. We're like possums. Someone comes in, we just play dead.

And I jump in the bed. And a couple of minutes later, I hear the door open. You woke up the grandpa because he was sleeping on the bed? No. I hear the door open. Didn't think anything of it. Maybe somebody forgot something. They don't know me. Us Irish people, we just play dead. We're like possums. Someone comes in, we just play dead.

That's what I do with Astrid a lot of times.

That's what I do with Astrid a lot of times.

You close your eyes with your phone. Raphael slides under the covers. And I jumped out of that bed so fucking fast. I jumped out of that bed and I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And he goes, what's wrong? And I go, dude, dude, it's not like this. And he goes, like what? And I go, it's not like this. I'm sorry. I think you got the wrong impression.

You close your eyes with your phone. Raphael slides under the covers. And I jumped out of that bed so fucking fast. I jumped out of that bed and I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And he goes, what's wrong? And I go, dude, dude, it's not like this. And he goes, like what? And I go, it's not like this. I'm sorry. I think you got the wrong impression.

You need to take me out on a date. You lured me here with food and grandparents and now you're trying to, I don't know what you're trying to do. And he was like, dude, don't freak out. And I was like, can I just please use the phone? I just need to call a cab. And I left. I literally left at like six in the morning, left.

You need to take me out on a date. You lured me here with food and grandparents and now you're trying to, I don't know what you're trying to do. And he was like, dude, don't freak out. And I was like, can I just please use the phone? I just need to call a cab. And I left. I literally left at like six in the morning, left.

And that was a shame because when I was leaving, his abuela was making arepas for us to eat because she heard us coming here.

And that was a shame because when I was leaving, his abuela was making arepas for us to eat because she heard us coming here.

It was beautiful.

It was beautiful.

A dude? If you were in the same situation, what would you have done?

A dude? If you were in the same situation, what would you have done?

I know.

I know.

He came in like two, three, four days later. He came in for his first day of work. I totally understand. You know, Rafa, he was like, dude, what's your problem? And I go, what's your problem, bro? I go, I didn't know you were gay. He goes, gay? What are you fucking talking about? I'm not gay.

He came in like two, three, four days later. He came in for his first day of work. I totally understand. You know, Rafa, he was like, dude, what's your problem? And I go, what's your problem, bro? I go, I didn't know you were gay. He goes, gay? What are you fucking talking about? I'm not gay.

Yeah, he said, we're Venezuelan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, what do you think? Did that look like a mansion to you? Do you think we had a bunch of bedrooms? He was like, you're sleeping in my bed.

Yeah, he said, we're Venezuelan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, what do you think? Did that look like a mansion to you? Do you think we had a bunch of bedrooms? He was like, you're sleeping in my bed.

Correct. That's right. And you treated me like a family member since day one.

Correct. That's right. And you treated me like a family member since day one.

Yeah, so I had to treat you like a brother. I took you on a jet ski. When Gustavo and I first met. We went down to Aruba. Yeah. And you had a couple of beers, son. I had 12 beers before you got there.

Yeah, so I had to treat you like a brother. I took you on a jet ski. When Gustavo and I first met. We went down to Aruba. Yeah. And you had a couple of beers, son. I had 12 beers before you got there.

You, I wasn't so worried about. It was more your father, who Astrid had warned me about. And to be fair, your dad had kind of freaked out.

You, I wasn't so worried about. It was more your father, who Astrid had warned me about. And to be fair, your dad had kind of freaked out.

Totally.

Totally.

Your dad's an intimidating man.

Your dad's an intimidating man.

It's a machismo culture. And the men in the family are the men in the family. The only girl in the family. The only girl in the family. And this guy from America is going to take it. This old bald guy from America.

It's a machismo culture. And the men in the family are the men in the family. The only girl in the family. The only girl in the family. And this guy from America is going to take it. This old bald guy from America.

sending me message hi dad yeah still to this day number one phrase your dad says when he's at this house be careful yeah when we went to aruba we out of respect and because i'm irish catholic and i think this is this is like a universal thing for fathers no matter what religion you're in I understood that I would not be sleeping in the same bed as Astrid. That certainly wasn't going to happen.

sending me message hi dad yeah still to this day number one phrase your dad says when he's at this house be careful yeah when we went to aruba we out of respect and because i'm irish catholic and i think this is this is like a universal thing for fathers no matter what religion you're in I understood that I would not be sleeping in the same bed as Astrid. That certainly wasn't going to happen.

We were just dating, not engaged, nothing. And so Astrid slept on the couch, and then Gustavo and I slept in these two single beds in this second bedroom.

We were just dating, not engaged, nothing. And so Astrid slept on the couch, and then Gustavo and I slept in these two single beds in this second bedroom.

Did he really?

Did he really?

No, I'm just kidding, just kidding. But every morning, his dad would come in. He would knock on the door. And like, you know, 7 o'clock in the morning, he'd knock on the door. He'd open it up. And he'd be like, Ay, Gustavo! Ay, Gustavo!

No, I'm just kidding, just kidding. But every morning, his dad would come in. He would knock on the door. And like, you know, 7 o'clock in the morning, he'd knock on the door. He'd open it up. And he'd be like, Ay, Gustavo! Ay, Gustavo!

Now crunchier than before.

Now crunchier than before.

I think the other thing that it's important to know around family values and the family, the kind of the Venezuelan ever expanding family, the extended family is the fact that if you're married to a Venezuelan or if you're with a Venezuelan, you better be ready.

I think the other thing that it's important to know around family values and the family, the kind of the Venezuelan ever expanding family, the extended family is the fact that if you're married to a Venezuelan or if you're with a Venezuelan, you better be ready.

for any and all family members to be in your space at all times. When Astrid started inviting, you know, all family members to the house, I already understood this was going to happen because of Raphael's family. And I've never complained not once. Not once.

for any and all family members to be in your space at all times. When Astrid started inviting, you know, all family members to the house, I already understood this was going to happen because of Raphael's family. And I've never complained not once. Not once.

20 people in this house?

20 people in this house?

Futons, couches. There were people sleeping in the attic. I think there was someone. I think some dude came in the house.

Futons, couches. There were people sleeping in the attic. I think there was someone. I think some dude came in the house.

We're here in the studio on this special day. Again, we decided to put this out on Saturday because the Venezuela-USA match is happening today. And we've got a very special guest here at the house. My brother-in-law, Gustavo.

We're here in the studio on this special day. Again, we decided to put this out on Saturday because the Venezuela-USA match is happening today. And we've got a very special guest here at the house. My brother-in-law, Gustavo.

This AI application also tells me that there's warmth and affection with the Venezuelan people. They tend to be warm and affectionate. Public displays of affection are common and expressing feelings openly is appreciated. I think it's generally true. I don't think it's like universally true, but I think it's generally true.

This AI application also tells me that there's warmth and affection with the Venezuelan people. They tend to be warm and affectionate. Public displays of affection are common and expressing feelings openly is appreciated. I think it's generally true. I don't think it's like universally true, but I think it's generally true.

Music and dance. Oh, a lot.

Music and dance. Oh, a lot.

What's your favorite? That country, Venezuelan country music that you like? Oh, Llanera? Yeah.

What's your favorite? That country, Venezuelan country music that you like? Oh, Llanera? Yeah.

I wasn't. I actually watched it. She's taken me a number of Venezuelan concerts. I've enjoyed all of them. I went and saw the five brothers. What are they? The five guys? The Backstreet Boys? Boss Bass? Boss Bass. Boss Bass. That's really good. Yes. And then I saw the old guy up in Chicago, the very famous Venezuelan. The very famous old guy who sings like ballads and love songs.

I wasn't. I actually watched it. She's taken me a number of Venezuelan concerts. I've enjoyed all of them. I went and saw the five brothers. What are they? The five guys? The Backstreet Boys? Boss Bass? Boss Bass. Boss Bass. That's really good. Yes. And then I saw the old guy up in Chicago, the very famous Venezuelan. The very famous old guy who sings like ballads and love songs.

I asked her, I'll have to tell you who it is. You don't remember the name? I don't remember the name.

I asked her, I'll have to tell you who it is. You don't remember the name? I don't remember the name.

Yeah. Tio Simón?

Yeah. Tio Simón?

No, no, I don't think it was Tio Simón.

No, no, I don't think it was Tio Simón.

Reggaeton? Reggaeton and merengue. Yeah. You're into reggaeton? Oh, yeah, yeah. Who's your favorite reggaeton?

Reggaeton? Reggaeton and merengue. Yeah. You're into reggaeton? Oh, yeah, yeah. Who's your favorite reggaeton?

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is a moment of great pride for Gustavo. As a matter of fact, I don't think Nicky Jam would have even been on the show.

This is a moment of great pride for Gustavo. As a matter of fact, I don't think Nicky Jam would have even been on the show.

Are you guys getting into American music? I mean, I know you're into a lot of American, you know, Taylor Swift.

Are you guys getting into American music? I mean, I know you're into a lot of American, you know, Taylor Swift.

You are a Swifty. You made me a Swifty.

You are a Swifty. You made me a Swifty.

This house will make you a Swifty. Oh, yeah.

This house will make you a Swifty. Oh, yeah.

International man of mystery, Gustavo. He's an international man of mystery.

International man of mystery, Gustavo. He's an international man of mystery.

But, you know, country music in America is not really country anymore. Are you listening to, like, the newer country music? I can't even tell you. But I like the rhythm and the songs. I like a lot of country music.

But, you know, country music in America is not really country anymore. Are you listening to, like, the newer country music? I can't even tell you. But I like the rhythm and the songs. I like a lot of country music.

Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson is more pop music.

Michael Jackson is more pop music.

Seven and a half feet tall. We actually have to adjust the camera angle to get him all in. I'm not sure the whole curtain gets it. He is really tall. He's a big boy.

Seven and a half feet tall. We actually have to adjust the camera angle to get him all in. I'm not sure the whole curtain gets it. He is really tall. He's a big boy.

It's got guitars, it's got solos and stuff like that. One of the other things that's very important to the Venezuelans, if you find yourself looking to date a Venezuelan... By the way, some of the most beautiful human beings in the world are Venezuelans. The women there are beautiful. You're saying that because of your wife. I'm definitely saying that because of my wife.

It's got guitars, it's got solos and stuff like that. One of the other things that's very important to the Venezuelans, if you find yourself looking to date a Venezuelan... By the way, some of the most beautiful human beings in the world are Venezuelans. The women there are beautiful. You're saying that because of your wife. I'm definitely saying that because of my wife.

You don't want a coñazo after you finish the show. Ay, chamo. I don't want to be spending the night in Rafael's bed. But the cuisine, of course, is important, too. You've got your ayakas. You've got your pan de jamon. Your favorites, the ayakas. Ayakas. I just can't stand them. I don't know. Why do you have to put raisins in it?

You don't want a coñazo after you finish the show. Ay, chamo. I don't want to be spending the night in Rafael's bed. But the cuisine, of course, is important, too. You've got your ayakas. You've got your pan de jamon. Your favorites, the ayakas. Ayakas. I just can't stand them. I don't know. Why do you have to put raisins in it?

Do you like raisins in your ayakas? I'm talking to LA off camera. Do you like raisins in the ayakas? I eat everything. I know you do. But you're a young man. You're growing.

Do you like raisins in your ayakas? I'm talking to LA off camera. Do you like raisins in the ayakas? I eat everything. I know you do. But you're a young man. You're growing.

I had this conversation with Joanna Hausman, and she said, I don't like the mix either.

I had this conversation with Joanna Hausman, and she said, I don't like the mix either.

But it reminds me of home. That's right. And for that reason, I like it. Is the ayakas kind of throw out the garbage food? Like, let's take all the stuff we have left over.

But it reminds me of home. That's right. And for that reason, I like it. Is the ayakas kind of throw out the garbage food? Like, let's take all the stuff we have left over.

No, I know they do, but did it originate as kind of like a throw out the garbage food? You don't know.

No, I know they do, but did it originate as kind of like a throw out the garbage food? You don't know.

Native.

Native.

And he eats me out of house and home every time he comes. Every time he comes here to my house, I tell Astrid that we have to put an extra $300 in the grocery budget. And here's a couple of reasons why. Gustavo will sit. Like, I know I have a bad cream and cereal addiction that pot rears its ugly head from time to time, usually in the winter because I can hide it with clothing.

And he eats me out of house and home every time he comes. Every time he comes here to my house, I tell Astrid that we have to put an extra $300 in the grocery budget. And here's a couple of reasons why. Gustavo will sit. Like, I know I have a bad cream and cereal addiction that pot rears its ugly head from time to time, usually in the winter because I can hide it with clothing.

That was like the history version.

That was like the history version.

So the indigenous who were slaves would ask their masters for whatever food was left over. Yeah, correct. Can you put it here? Can you put it here? And they would roll it up, steam it, eat it.

So the indigenous who were slaves would ask their masters for whatever food was left over. Yeah, correct. Can you put it here? Can you put it here? And they would roll it up, steam it, eat it.

I hate to hear about the slaves, but, you know. The ayakas is generally the only food. Yeah. that Astrid has ever introduced me to, or anybody Venezuelan has introduced me to, that I don't care for. I just generally don't like the ayakas. But everything else, I'm on board with.

I hate to hear about the slaves, but, you know. The ayakas is generally the only food. Yeah. that Astrid has ever introduced me to, or anybody Venezuelan has introduced me to, that I don't care for. I just generally don't like the ayakas. But everything else, I'm on board with.

Give me some cream and some cereal and a cheeseburger, please. That's right. I can deal. The reason why I ran out of the room, the reason why I turned my nose in disgust was not because I saw that everyone was doing this with love and with care. It's that I had had them before. Maybe you guys make them better. Maybe I should try them all over again. Maybe it's different from family to family.

Give me some cream and some cereal and a cheeseburger, please. That's right. I can deal. The reason why I ran out of the room, the reason why I turned my nose in disgust was not because I saw that everyone was doing this with love and with care. It's that I had had them before. Maybe you guys make them better. Maybe I should try them all over again. Maybe it's different from family to family.

My mom will be very proud of you if you try one of her yakis. It's like a yearly...

My mom will be very proud of you if you try one of her yakis. It's like a yearly...

We went to drop something off to go send it to Venezuela. And at the time, you know, and still to this day, you can't just send something directly to Venezuela from the United States. It's got to go on a boat or it's got to go through another country because of all of the trade restrictions around Venezuela.

We went to drop something off to go send it to Venezuela. And at the time, you know, and still to this day, you can't just send something directly to Venezuela from the United States. It's got to go on a boat or it's got to go through another country because of all of the trade restrictions around Venezuela.

So when you want to send something, you box it up and you go to a guy that lives in a shack. And that dude in the shack boxes everything up with other stuff that's going to Venezuela. Then he rents out space on a boat. He puts it on a boat. He gets there seven weeks later. So we went one time to this place. And I'm telling you, Gustavo.

So when you want to send something, you box it up and you go to a guy that lives in a shack. And that dude in the shack boxes everything up with other stuff that's going to Venezuela. Then he rents out space on a boat. He puts it on a boat. He gets there seven weeks later. So we went one time to this place. And I'm telling you, Gustavo.

uh the guy gave us a box of frozen i this was like february one gave us a box of frozen ayakas there must have been 600 as a gift he just gave it to astrid and it had it was a box full of ayakas those were leftovers those were leftovers and they weren't very good at all i can imagine no one like that all right let's continue this conversation we'll take a break we'll be back

uh the guy gave us a box of frozen i this was like february one gave us a box of frozen ayakas there must have been 600 as a gift he just gave it to astrid and it had it was a box full of ayakas those were leftovers those were leftovers and they weren't very good at all i can imagine no one like that all right let's continue this conversation we'll take a break we'll be back

Gustavo will sit and eat an entire family box of... Family-sized box of cereal in one sitting, which is amazing to me. I don't even... I think I was doing too much cocaine to really go through that growth spurt where I ate a ton of food in one sitting. But it still amazes me that any human being can sit and eat as much food as Gustavo.

Gustavo will sit and eat an entire family box of... Family-sized box of cereal in one sitting, which is amazing to me. I don't even... I think I was doing too much cocaine to really go through that growth spurt where I ate a ton of food in one sitting. But it still amazes me that any human being can sit and eat as much food as Gustavo.

All right, and we're back here with my brother-in-law, Gustavo, joining us in the studio. Chrissy has stepped out for a few minutes to allow Gustavo to take the throne. Thank you, Chrissy. Congratulations. You don't get Chrissy out of that throne very easy. This is an honor.

All right, and we're back here with my brother-in-law, Gustavo, joining us in the studio. Chrissy has stepped out for a few minutes to allow Gustavo to take the throne. Thank you, Chrissy. Congratulations. You don't get Chrissy out of that throne very easy. This is an honor.

Actually, lots of people have sat in that seat.

Actually, lots of people have sat in that seat.

You know, the funny thing is that Chrissy came in today, and we were trying to figure out how we get all three of us in this camera angle. I just couldn't work it out. We didn't have an extra good microphone and stuff like that. And Chrissy said, well, I'll go, or you can step out, and I'll talk to Gustavo. And I was like, you're going to let my brother-in-law be in here?

You know, the funny thing is that Chrissy came in today, and we were trying to figure out how we get all three of us in this camera angle. I just couldn't work it out. We didn't have an extra good microphone and stuff like that. And Chrissy said, well, I'll go, or you can step out, and I'll talk to Gustavo. And I was like, you're going to let my brother-in-law be in here?

I think Astrid really does want me to be on the studio for an hour. We're talking about things that are important to know if you're going to be in a relationship with a Venezuelan. Now, you know, Astrid, Ale, and Gustavo are taken, so none of us are on the block, but just in case. We've been talking through some of the things we just got done with cuisine.

I think Astrid really does want me to be on the studio for an hour. We're talking about things that are important to know if you're going to be in a relationship with a Venezuelan. Now, you know, Astrid, Ale, and Gustavo are taken, so none of us are on the block, but just in case. We've been talking through some of the things we just got done with cuisine.

Tecanos are my favorite Venezuelan import to this household. For real?

Tecanos are my favorite Venezuelan import to this household. For real?

There was a time during the pandemic when I ate cachapas every night, probably for three or four months, every single night. A cachapa is a corn cake that is fried, and then you put butter and you put cheese on it. So it's like cornmeal, butter, cheese. You can put lots of different stuff on it, but that's how we prepare them here.

There was a time during the pandemic when I ate cachapas every night, probably for three or four months, every single night. A cachapa is a corn cake that is fried, and then you put butter and you put cheese on it. So it's like cornmeal, butter, cheese. You can put lots of different stuff on it, but that's how we prepare them here.

The butter and the corn. I want to tell the Americans what this is like. This is like going and getting a really good corn on the cob and then smearing it with salted butter. And it's so delicious and juicy and wonderful. And then you put on top of that the white cheese.

The butter and the corn. I want to tell the Americans what this is like. This is like going and getting a really good corn on the cob and then smearing it with salted butter. And it's so delicious and juicy and wonderful. And then you put on top of that the white cheese.

Yeah, like a fresca cheese, like something that's native.

Yeah, like a fresca cheese, like something that's native.

Sometimes.

Sometimes.

What is your favorite Venezuelan food?

What is your favorite Venezuelan food?

It's mixed together?

It's mixed together?

Okay, so it's like a dish. It's a dish, yeah. It's really good. So let me ask you this. The shredded meat that's like marinated in something?

Okay, so it's like a dish. It's a dish, yeah. It's really good. So let me ask you this. The shredded meat that's like marinated in something?

You know, the other thing that I don't care for is plantains. I know a lot of people love plantains, but... Man, that's really mean of you. I know. I think if Astrid had to claim a food. You have to work on that.

You know, the other thing that I don't care for is plantains. I know a lot of people love plantains, but... Man, that's really mean of you. I know. I think if Astrid had to claim a food. You have to work on that.

But yeah, I think plantains is a staple. But to me, it's a sweet food. So it doesn't go in the hearty category, if that makes sense.

But yeah, I think plantains is a staple. But to me, it's a sweet food. So it doesn't go in the hearty category, if that makes sense.

It's more a dessert for you? I prefer having ice cream with plantains rather than meat with plantains.

It's more a dessert for you? I prefer having ice cream with plantains rather than meat with plantains.

Yeah. I see Aster eating steak and plantains, and I'm like, that's like putting chocolate on an hamburger. I don't get it. But some people like that combination while they're sitting there. I prefer to split my meals up, and that is a very American thing to do. You have your salties, and then you have your sweets, or you do it the other way around, whatever it is. You don't mix those two together.

Yeah. I see Aster eating steak and plantains, and I'm like, that's like putting chocolate on an hamburger. I don't get it. But some people like that combination while they're sitting there. I prefer to split my meals up, and that is a very American thing to do. You have your salties, and then you have your sweets, or you do it the other way around, whatever it is. You don't mix those two together.

Very rarely happens. And I think as close as that comes for me is a cachapa. Because it's a little sweet. It's got the butter that's salty. Yeah. And then you've got the cheese that adds a little bit of flavor to it. I one time made them. Have you had roti? Do you know what roti is? No. Roti, the soup, the spicy soup that's made.

Very rarely happens. And I think as close as that comes for me is a cachapa. Because it's a little sweet. It's got the butter that's salty. Yeah. And then you've got the cheese that adds a little bit of flavor to it. I one time made them. Have you had roti? Do you know what roti is? No. Roti, the soup, the spicy soup that's made.

I think that's the one thing that surprises me about you and your father and I guess Venezuelans in general, including Rafael, is you have such an aversion to spicy foods.

I think that's the one thing that surprises me about you and your father and I guess Venezuelans in general, including Rafael, is you have such an aversion to spicy foods.

Yeah. You know, no Venezuelan man that I have known really well has liked spicy foods. Yeah, it's more a Mexican thing, not Venezuelan. It really is a Mexican thing. And if there's one thing your dad loves, it's Mexican food. That's right. There's one thing that Daniel loves. It's that Mexican food. That's right. What did he tell me one time? He said he was working in Mexico.

Yeah. You know, no Venezuelan man that I have known really well has liked spicy foods. Yeah, it's more a Mexican thing, not Venezuelan. It really is a Mexican thing. And if there's one thing your dad loves, it's Mexican food. That's right. There's one thing that Daniel loves. It's that Mexican food. That's right. What did he tell me one time? He said he was working in Mexico.

What's the story he told?

What's the story he told?

And women stop growing at like 26 or something like that. And then we start shrinking. Our dicks get smaller. Our ears get larger. Our nose hair gets longer. And we get smellier and less intelligent. Women just age gracefully through the years. And that's how it goes. Gustavo is a huge boy. And it's just the amount of food that he eats is immense, Chrissy. It's immense. Yeah. But he's here.

And women stop growing at like 26 or something like that. And then we start shrinking. Our dicks get smaller. Our ears get larger. Our nose hair gets longer. And we get smellier and less intelligent. Women just age gracefully through the years. And that's how it goes. Gustavo is a huge boy. And it's just the amount of food that he eats is immense, Chrissy. It's immense. Yeah. But he's here.

Oh, he did? Yeah, yeah, he did. Your sister has always told me that he's not a fan of tacos.

Oh, he did? Yeah, yeah, he did. Your sister has always told me that he's not a fan of tacos.

Yeah, the lamb tacos. Oh, yeah, they're very good. The street tacos. I think Astrid has been secretly saying that because she doesn't want me to go have tacos. I'm talking to Astrid about that. I think Astrid is using Daniel as an excuse to get me out of Mexico.

Yeah, the lamb tacos. Oh, yeah, they're very good. The street tacos. I think Astrid has been secretly saying that because she doesn't want me to go have tacos. I'm talking to Astrid about that. I think Astrid is using Daniel as an excuse to get me out of Mexico.

Not only are they beautiful, but they tend to be pretty intelligent, too. That's right. That's for sure. They do, they do. That's right. All right, moving on. Social life. Venezuelans enjoy socializing and often gather with family and friends. I find this to be true, and here's why I think this is so important to the Venezuelan people, especially now.

Not only are they beautiful, but they tend to be pretty intelligent, too. That's right. That's for sure. They do, they do. That's right. All right, moving on. Social life. Venezuelans enjoy socializing and often gather with family and friends. I find this to be true, and here's why I think this is so important to the Venezuelan people, especially now.

Why it's so important, like Astrid, I'm sure Ale feels this way, I'm sure you feel this way, is the Venezuelans are a displaced people. They're a displaced people, and they have been a displaced people. The indigenous have lived there, but the Spanish came over. They were a displaced people. And now many Venezuelans, most of them, it's kind of in a brain drain, is a displaced people also.

Why it's so important, like Astrid, I'm sure Ale feels this way, I'm sure you feel this way, is the Venezuelans are a displaced people. They're a displaced people, and they have been a displaced people. The indigenous have lived there, but the Spanish came over. They were a displaced people. And now many Venezuelans, most of them, it's kind of in a brain drain, is a displaced people also.

It is so important to keep that connection through socialization, family members or not family members, because that is the connection to home. Home is a thought right now for a lot of Venezuelans. It's not a place.

It is so important to keep that connection through socialization, family members or not family members, because that is the connection to home. Home is a thought right now for a lot of Venezuelans. It's not a place.

It's a real challenge.

It's a real challenge.

one and again I get it I have a real longing for that in my own family because that is not how we operate our family I've said this on the show I've told Astrid this I've probably told my therapist this a million times in my culture and by culture I mean the family that I grew up in and the people and the extended family members we have gatherings are not a thing you linger it's not a place where you linger it's a place where you get together for a minute and

one and again I get it I have a real longing for that in my own family because that is not how we operate our family I've said this on the show I've told Astrid this I've probably told my therapist this a million times in my culture and by culture I mean the family that I grew up in and the people and the extended family members we have gatherings are not a thing you linger it's not a place where you linger it's a place where you get together for a minute and

And then you go, right? And then you're out. You don't linger. No one spends the night. You know how many times I spent the night at my grandma's house on my mom's side? Twice. Really? Maybe. Maybe twice. That's weird. We would literally go to a hotel before we would spend the night. That's weird. It's very strange.

And then you go, right? And then you're out. You don't linger. No one spends the night. You know how many times I spent the night at my grandma's house on my mom's side? Twice. Really? Maybe. Maybe twice. That's weird. We would literally go to a hotel before we would spend the night. That's weird. It's very strange.

Now that I've been embedded in this culture for so long, I see just how strange that really was.

Now that I've been embedded in this culture for so long, I see just how strange that really was.

I think it's the biggest, I think it's one of the biggest blessings you can give a child. It's one of the biggest blessings you can impart on someone like me who doesn't have it is the longing for connection with family in that way.

I think it's the biggest, I think it's one of the biggest blessings you can give a child. It's one of the biggest blessings you can impart on someone like me who doesn't have it is the longing for connection with family in that way.

Now it still takes some getting used to, and it doesn't mean that you're always, you're ever like a hundred, like as someone as an outsider, I might always be just a little bit outside the actual, like the actual culture then that way.

Now it still takes some getting used to, and it doesn't mean that you're always, you're ever like a hundred, like as someone as an outsider, I might always be just a little bit outside the actual, like the actual culture then that way.

But I long for, and I love, that Astrid gets to stay up till three in the morning, hanging out with her family. I think it's beautiful, I really do.

But I long for, and I love, that Astrid gets to stay up till three in the morning, hanging out with her family. I think it's beautiful, I really do.

First of all, can you guys stop fucking talking over each other just for one second? I mean, honestly, you walk into a room of Venezuelans and everybody is having six different conversations at the same time. How do you even operate in that manner?

First of all, can you guys stop fucking talking over each other just for one second? I mean, honestly, you walk into a room of Venezuelans and everybody is having six different conversations at the same time. How do you even operate in that manner?

Oh, I get it. I hear my name all the time. But when three of you are saying it at the same time, I can't understand that one of you.

Oh, I get it. I hear my name all the time. But when three of you are saying it at the same time, I can't understand that one of you.

He's celebrating the engagement, the recent engagement with his lovely fiance, Ale, who has been, I mean, as long as I've, they have been together. I think I mentioned this on the show before. They've been together for 12 years, 12 years. So he was three when they met or something like that. I can't do the math real quick, but they've been together since they were like in high school.

He's celebrating the engagement, the recent engagement with his lovely fiance, Ale, who has been, I mean, as long as I've, they have been together. I think I mentioned this on the show before. They've been together for 12 years, 12 years. So he was three when they met or something like that. I can't do the math real quick, but they've been together since they were like in high school.

You're playing a game with me. We love to see your face. I think it's very difficult to understand Venezuelans if you're trying to learn Spanish. And I've said this many times. You're all talking over each other. That's impossible. It's hard. I need one person saying it relatively slowly to me, and then I can understand.

You're playing a game with me. We love to see your face. I think it's very difficult to understand Venezuelans if you're trying to learn Spanish. And I've said this many times. You're all talking over each other. That's impossible. It's hard. I need one person saying it relatively slowly to me, and then I can understand.

Yeah, but can we be fair to me, is that your mom's English Needs a little work. Just like my Spanish needs a little work.

Yeah, but can we be fair to me, is that your mom's English Needs a little work. Just like my Spanish needs a little work.

It is.

It is.

It is. It is. It's really hard to understand. Your mom complained to me a couple, like last year, she complained to me. She goes, you know, in Spanish, you know, you don't look the mean.

It is. It is. It's really hard to understand. Your mom complained to me a couple, like last year, she complained to me. She goes, you know, in Spanish, you know, you don't look the mean.

I used to try, but I don't understand. Now, I think me and your mom have this understanding where we try to slow down for each other a little bit more because I really do sometimes have a hard time understanding your mother. But, you know, listen, Again, I think probably one of the greatest gifts that's been imparted to me is the gift of the Venezuelan family.

I used to try, but I don't understand. Now, I think me and your mom have this understanding where we try to slow down for each other a little bit more because I really do sometimes have a hard time understanding your mother. But, you know, listen, Again, I think probably one of the greatest gifts that's been imparted to me is the gift of the Venezuelan family.

Because without that, I'd just be stuck in my miserable Irish Catholic family. And they're not miserable people. We just don't operate on the same level.

Because without that, I'd just be stuck in my miserable Irish Catholic family. And they're not miserable people. We just don't operate on the same level.

Yeah. We would never think to sit up till three in the morning playing board games. I think we'd get way too irritated with each other for that. We'd just all be irritated.

Yeah. We would never think to sit up till three in the morning playing board games. I think we'd get way too irritated with each other for that. We'd just all be irritated.

Yeah. I think, too, is that you're right about this, is that Americans, by and large, grow up with the television as the center of attention. So when they grow older and they have families of their own, the television is the center of attention.

Yeah. I think, too, is that you're right about this, is that Americans, by and large, grow up with the television as the center of attention. So when they grow older and they have families of their own, the television is the center of attention.

I don't know what you guys have down there. I haven't been, and I'm probably not going to get to go now. I'm probably out. You won't. No, I'd love to. I can't wait to go.

I don't know what you guys have down there. I haven't been, and I'm probably not going to get to go now. I'm probably out. You won't. No, I'd love to. I can't wait to go.

Listen, this is so crazy because when I ask, hold on one second.

Listen, this is so crazy because when I ask, hold on one second.

ChatGPT told me this.

ChatGPT told me this.

AI told me this. Hold on.

AI told me this. Hold on.

I'll be the next level. Venezuelan... I saw this somewhere. What did you call this? Radio Rochella. Okay, tell me about this.

I'll be the next level. Venezuelan... I saw this somewhere. What did you call this? Radio Rochella. Okay, tell me about this.

So high school sweethearts. Gustavo comes here. It's such a love story. It is kind of a love story. Can you imagine getting married to your high school sweetheart?

So high school sweethearts. Gustavo comes here. It's such a love story. It is kind of a love story. Can you imagine getting married to your high school sweetheart?

Do you think part of the reason why Venezuelans turn inward or turned inward to family is because the outside world was kind of a scary place?

Do you think part of the reason why Venezuelans turn inward or turned inward to family is because the outside world was kind of a scary place?

God damn, fuck all you. You're so beautiful. What the fuck? We are.

God damn, fuck all you. You're so beautiful. What the fuck? We are.

What the fuck? You're going to make me want to restore faith in humanity just when I'm losing all faith, just when I think I've got it pinned down.

What the fuck? You're going to make me want to restore faith in humanity just when I'm losing all faith, just when I think I've got it pinned down.

I probably was born in the wrong place. And listen, I think that's a thing, too. Sometimes people just feel like they're born in the wrong place.

I probably was born in the wrong place. And listen, I think that's a thing, too. Sometimes people just feel like they're born in the wrong place.

Not very soon. Or I won't. When's the next election? Somebody was writing on one of those comments that we'll figure this out in the next couple of days.

Not very soon. Or I won't. When's the next election? Somebody was writing on one of those comments that we'll figure this out in the next couple of days.

January the 8th.

January the 8th.

Chrissy goes, yeah, I can.

Chrissy goes, yeah, I can.

We heard. You heard. The person who supposedly won was recognized by a lot of democratic countries as the winner.

We heard. You heard. The person who supposedly won was recognized by a lot of democratic countries as the winner.

Is this one of those WhatsApp, buzzy, buzzy, things are going to happen, things might go down kind of shit? Anyway, you know what? Let's not talk about it here on the show.

Is this one of those WhatsApp, buzzy, buzzy, things are going to happen, things might go down kind of shit? Anyway, you know what? Let's not talk about it here on the show.

I am rooting for Venezuela. Viva Venezuela Libre. I hope, actually, one of the things that I silently meditate about is that my children get to understand who they are in a more meaningful way by visiting the place where their mother lived. I want to take them there. I'm waiting. I can't wait. We came this close to pulling the trigger this year.

I am rooting for Venezuela. Viva Venezuela Libre. I hope, actually, one of the things that I silently meditate about is that my children get to understand who they are in a more meaningful way by visiting the place where their mother lived. I want to take them there. I'm waiting. I can't wait. We came this close to pulling the trigger this year.

We came this close to pulling the trigger, and then we just backed off.

We came this close to pulling the trigger, and then we just backed off.

From one day to the other.

From one day to the other.

Your dad said to me when I first met, when we were down in Aruba, I said, oh, I'd love to go to Venezuela. Because I know Americans do go down there. And there's a whole... category of travel agents that will get you down there and make sure that you're safe, I guess, as much as they can or whatever.

Your dad said to me when I first met, when we were down in Aruba, I said, oh, I'd love to go to Venezuela. Because I know Americans do go down there. And there's a whole... category of travel agents that will get you down there and make sure that you're safe, I guess, as much as they can or whatever.

And your dad said, I won't bring you to my house if I don't think I can keep you safe getting you there. He's like, once you get there, fine. He's like, but outside my house, if I don't think I can keep you safe, I won't invite you. Yeah, anything can happen. But I guess the same can be said about a lot of places in this world, including the United States of America. So, who knows?

And your dad said, I won't bring you to my house if I don't think I can keep you safe getting you there. He's like, once you get there, fine. He's like, but outside my house, if I don't think I can keep you safe, I won't invite you. Yeah, anything can happen. But I guess the same can be said about a lot of places in this world, including the United States of America. So, who knows?

I really... Still to this day have an affinity for my high school sweetheart, but I don't see us being married. I think if we had gotten married, it would have been a hot train wreck of a marriage. But she turned out to be a lovely human being, and I still communicate sometimes with her. Yeah.

I really... Still to this day have an affinity for my high school sweetheart, but I don't see us being married. I think if we had gotten married, it would have been a hot train wreck of a marriage. But she turned out to be a lovely human being, and I still communicate sometimes with her. Yeah.

Anyway, listen, Gustavo Boquete, you are a dear friend. I love you as a brother. You've been a long time first of the show.

Anyway, listen, Gustavo Boquete, you are a dear friend. I love you as a brother. You've been a long time first of the show.

And as my Venezuelan brethren, You're welcome here anytime.

And as my Venezuelan brethren, You're welcome here anytime.

So he kept going. He kept going.

So he kept going. He kept going.

I'm smarter than I look, and I know that no one's going to do anything they don't want to do. That's right. So you just have to keep pecking the head a little bit. Just keep tapping somebody on the shoulder until they turn around. That's right. All right, let's take a break. We had fun. We did have fun. Good job, buddy. Best to you. Best to you. In the podcast universe.

I'm smarter than I look, and I know that no one's going to do anything they don't want to do. That's right. So you just have to keep pecking the head a little bit. Just keep tapping somebody on the shoulder until they turn around. That's right. All right, let's take a break. We had fun. We did have fun. Good job, buddy. Best to you. Best to you. In the podcast universe.

Well, that is well worth the wait. You won't hear it until everybody else does, but man, was that good. Gustavo.

Well, that is well worth the wait. You won't hear it until everybody else does, but man, was that good. Gustavo.

He is a gentleman and a scholar, not necessarily in that order, but I could have gone on forever with Gustavo. But he is my brother-in-law, so there is a level of comfort, and I'm so proud of him. He came in and he did it.

He is a gentleman and a scholar, not necessarily in that order, but I could have gone on forever with Gustavo. But he is my brother-in-law, so there is a level of comfort, and I'm so proud of him. He came in and he did it.

He faced his fears. He did it well. He's hearing himself for the very first time on a microphone, which is really strange to do. It is. And he did it well. And we only had to pan out 10x to get his entire body into the frame. He is a large boy. Anyway, you can check this special out on YouTube out available today as you're listening to this. YouTube.com slash the commercial break.

He faced his fears. He did it well. He's hearing himself for the very first time on a microphone, which is really strange to do. It is. And he did it well. And we only had to pan out 10x to get his entire body into the frame. He is a large boy. Anyway, you can check this special out on YouTube out available today as you're listening to this. YouTube.com slash the commercial break.

for all the episodes Chrissy and I all the interviews everything all of the interviews are actually out there there's lots of older episodes and then all of the episodes since the beginning of the year certainly are there and available so check that out we certainly would appreciate it 212-433-3822. That's 212-433-3TCB.

for all the episodes Chrissy and I all the interviews everything all of the interviews are actually out there there's lots of older episodes and then all of the episodes since the beginning of the year certainly are there and available so check that out we certainly would appreciate it 212-433-3822. That's 212-433-3TCB.

Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, we are taking them all at that phone number. Voicemail also, but just be wary of that voicemail. Because you know, Chrissy, I'm a gangster. And I will put that up here on the show if you leave me some snappy little message. You can better believe. That's why I think very few people actually call the phone number.

Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, we are taking them all at that phone number. Voicemail also, but just be wary of that voicemail. Because you know, Chrissy, I'm a gangster. And I will put that up here on the show if you leave me some snappy little message. You can better believe. That's why I think very few people actually call the phone number.

Maybe I should stop threatening to put it on air. Maybe more people would call if I stopped threatening to put it on air. Maybe I can bait them into doing it by saying... Feel free to call. Feel free to call.

Maybe I should stop threatening to put it on air. Maybe more people would call if I stopped threatening to put it on air. Maybe I can bait them into doing it by saying... Feel free to call. Feel free to call.

I promise I won't put it on air. I'll bait a bunch of people to do that. Also, if you would, please add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok. If that's still around tomorrow, actually, as we release this episode tomorrow, we'll see whether or not TikTok is still available to operate in the United States. I think it will.

I promise I won't put it on air. I'll bait a bunch of people to do that. Also, if you would, please add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok. If that's still around tomorrow, actually, as we release this episode tomorrow, we'll see whether or not TikTok is still available to operate in the United States. I think it will.

No.

No.

I think there'll be an injunction while people work it out. There's people claiming they're going to buy it. We'll see. And the website, TCBpodcast.com. All the information about Chrissy and I, the audio, the video, it's all right there from one location. And your TCB swag. Hit the contact us button. Drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Send us your address and away it will go.

I think there'll be an injunction while people work it out. There's people claiming they're going to buy it. We'll see. And the website, TCBpodcast.com. All the information about Chrissy and I, the audio, the video, it's all right there from one location. And your TCB swag. Hit the contact us button. Drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Send us your address and away it will go.

Also, if you would, please, Roy Wood Jr. Go check out his new special available today on Hulu. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for this special episode of the Commercial Break.

Also, if you would, please, Roy Wood Jr. Go check out his new special available today on Hulu. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for this special episode of the Commercial Break.

I'll tell you that I love you.

I'll tell you that I love you.

Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye.

Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye.

When was your first boyfriend? When did you have your first... boy that you would come home and... Like a crush, you know, like a grade school crush.

When was your first boyfriend? When did you have your first... boy that you would come home and... Like a crush, you know, like a grade school crush.

Fourth or fifth grade. You waited a while. I think I was in first or second grade. I can still remember the name of the girl. I mean, I won't say it here on air, but I can still remember the name of the girl. And here's the funny thing. Like, I'm not going to say it. Never mind. I'll tell it to you off air. I don't want to start family drama, so I'm not going to start family drama.

Fourth or fifth grade. You waited a while. I think I was in first or second grade. I can still remember the name of the girl. I mean, I won't say it here on air, but I can still remember the name of the girl. And here's the funny thing. Like, I'm not going to say it. Never mind. I'll tell it to you off air. I don't want to start family drama, so I'm not going to start family drama.

But, okay, fourth or fifth grade. Yeah, I mean, listen, do you believe that... If you have a best friend or a soulmate like Jeff or whatever it is, do you believe that it's possible you all were connected in a different... Yes. You know, time frame, universe, multiverse, whatever. Wrinkle in time. Wrinkle in time. And then you had to find each other or you found each other.

But, okay, fourth or fifth grade. Yeah, I mean, listen, do you believe that... If you have a best friend or a soulmate like Jeff or whatever it is, do you believe that it's possible you all were connected in a different... Yes. You know, time frame, universe, multiverse, whatever. Wrinkle in time. Wrinkle in time. And then you had to find each other or you found each other.

I think so, too. Feels like that. Yeah. Someone you knew in a past life.

I think so, too. Feels like that. Yeah. Someone you knew in a past life.

It freaks me out to think about that because I think it's very possible in this multiverse theory that I have in my head that's kind of crazy and based on many LSD trips. I think that it's possible that Astrid could have been my brother in a different universe or my best friend or a dog that I like very much. Right. Or we were both possums or something like that. Do you know what I'm saying?

It freaks me out to think about that because I think it's very possible in this multiverse theory that I have in my head that's kind of crazy and based on many LSD trips. I think that it's possible that Astrid could have been my brother in a different universe or my best friend or a dog that I like very much. Right. Or we were both possums or something like that. Do you know what I'm saying?

I think it's possible that it wasn't about some love story that continued, like romantic love story. It could have been something else altogether, a friend, a brother.

I think it's possible that it wasn't about some love story that continued, like romantic love story. It could have been something else altogether, a friend, a brother.

You recognize them. And so it's amazing to me, as we talk about Venezuela and the United States, it's amazing to me that I found my soulmate, even though she was... many countries away, like completely somewhere else doing something else on a different trajectory than I was. And then our worlds collided, which is weird. And Jeff showed up as your next door neighbor.

You recognize them. And so it's amazing to me, as we talk about Venezuela and the United States, it's amazing to me that I found my soulmate, even though she was... many countries away, like completely somewhere else doing something else on a different trajectory than I was. And then our worlds collided, which is weird. And Jeff showed up as your next door neighbor.

Yeah. So when you think about this, it's either the multiverse theory or Jeff and Chrissy are Ross and Rachel. One of the two, when you think about it. I mean, that's kind of strange. I think this same thing about like my best, some of my best friends like you, maybe we were connected in a different life somehow, some way.

Yeah. So when you think about this, it's either the multiverse theory or Jeff and Chrissy are Ross and Rachel. One of the two, when you think about it. I mean, that's kind of strange. I think this same thing about like my best, some of my best friends like you, maybe we were connected in a different life somehow, some way.

We did. I had seen your name on the wall and a picture. And I said, that's Chrissy Hoadley. Yeah. Or what I affectionately refer to as just hodly-dodly. Yeah, so amazing to think about all the different ways we are entangled.

We did. I had seen your name on the wall and a picture. And I said, that's Chrissy Hoadley. Yeah. Or what I affectionately refer to as just hodly-dodly. Yeah, so amazing to think about all the different ways we are entangled.

And Astrid and I, you know, obviously two different countries, two different experiences, two different cultures, all those things kind of washed away when we met each other and the love story persisted.

And Astrid and I, you know, obviously two different countries, two different experiences, two different cultures, all those things kind of washed away when we met each other and the love story persisted.

Universal language of thirst trap. Yes, that's right.

Universal language of thirst trap. Yes, that's right.

I think even in the worst of relationships, you're still drawn to that person for some reason. They have to teach you a lesson. Do you know what I'm saying?

I think even in the worst of relationships, you're still drawn to that person for some reason. They have to teach you a lesson. Do you know what I'm saying?

So like, you know, I had Nacho Potato the dog before when Astrid and I met. She got me a dog, I think mainly to keep me in the house for some, you know, I had to come home to feed the dog. She was smart. She was smart in that way. She said, let me get the guy a dog and that way he can't be out. Being a dog, he has to go take care of the dog.

So like, you know, I had Nacho Potato the dog before when Astrid and I met. She got me a dog, I think mainly to keep me in the house for some, you know, I had to come home to feed the dog. She was smart. She was smart in that way. She said, let me get the guy a dog and that way he can't be out. Being a dog, he has to go take care of the dog.

I put Nacho Potato down because he was a danger to himself and other people. I've told that story on air. It was a terrible... It was one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever done, actually. And yeah, that gives me a chill just to think about it. But anyway, then a year later, we get Blue. And so part of me believes that Blue is just Nacho Potato...

I put Nacho Potato down because he was a danger to himself and other people. I've told that story on air. It was a terrible... It was one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever done, actually. And yeah, that gives me a chill just to think about it. But anyway, then a year later, we get Blue. And so part of me believes that Blue is just Nacho Potato...

ruining the rest of my life for making that terrible decision to put him down in that particular life. He has come back to haunt me in the form of a female, we call her a Yorkie, but I don't think that is, trailer park Yorkie. Blew the trailer park Yorkie. She is.

ruining the rest of my life for making that terrible decision to put him down in that particular life. He has come back to haunt me in the form of a female, we call her a Yorkie, but I don't think that is, trailer park Yorkie. Blew the trailer park Yorkie. She is.

And in some way, I think that Venezuelans in general, at least for me personally, Venezuelans in general were meant to be a part of my life. That culture has taught me some things that maybe I missed because of where I was born and the household I grew up in. No fault of theirs because they're a product of the way that they grew up in Venezuela.

And in some way, I think that Venezuelans in general, at least for me personally, Venezuelans in general were meant to be a part of my life. That culture has taught me some things that maybe I missed because of where I was born and the household I grew up in. No fault of theirs because they're a product of the way that they grew up in Venezuela.

Yeah. And it's not strange that there's a lot of Venezuelans here in Atlanta either, because Georgia Tech is a place where a lot of Venezuelans went to school to learn about engineering for the oil business.

Yeah. And it's not strange that there's a lot of Venezuelans here in Atlanta either, because Georgia Tech is a place where a lot of Venezuelans went to school to learn about engineering for the oil business.

And then, you know, the Venezuela, I think the government would sponsor them to go to some of these more technical schools to learn some of this stuff so they could bring that knowledge back and drill for the oil out there, which has made that country very rich. And I'm not going to get into the politics because there is the politics of talking about politics about Venezuela.

And then, you know, the Venezuela, I think the government would sponsor them to go to some of these more technical schools to learn some of this stuff so they could bring that knowledge back and drill for the oil out there, which has made that country very rich. And I'm not going to get into the politics because there is the politics of talking about politics about Venezuela.

And we do still have family down there. But, you know, it's just it's it's all like it just seems weird to me now that I look back on it after some time. Now that I'm in my late 70s, I look like I'm reflecting on my life and I'm thinking about all the different ways that Venezuela has

And we do still have family down there. But, you know, it's just it's it's all like it just seems weird to me now that I look back on it after some time. Now that I'm in my late 70s, I look like I'm reflecting on my life and I'm thinking about all the different ways that Venezuela has

Like, the word Venezuela and the Venezuelan culture kind of made a runway up to where I am today, including just being placed here in Atlanta. Like, it's just kind of weird. And so, yeah. So, I think we've been trying to do this for a long time.

Like, the word Venezuela and the Venezuelan culture kind of made a runway up to where I am today, including just being placed here in Atlanta. Like, it's just kind of weird. And so, yeah. So, I think we've been trying to do this for a long time.

He has been scared shitless. Yes.

He has been scared shitless. Yes.

I'm doing it. Yeah. Only after we had that reel go viral did Gustavo make the decision that he wanted to come on because he said, well, I want followers too. So after a long time of poking and prodding Gustavo, we have finally gotten him to agree to come on the show. He's a highly interesting young man currently living in Houston and going to school with his fiancee, Ale. Why don't we do this?

I'm doing it. Yeah. Only after we had that reel go viral did Gustavo make the decision that he wanted to come on because he said, well, I want followers too. So after a long time of poking and prodding Gustavo, we have finally gotten him to agree to come on the show. He's a highly interesting young man currently living in Houston and going to school with his fiancee, Ale. Why don't we do this?

Let's take a short break. If it's okay with you, Chrissy has volunteered to give the chair up. And this is not because we don't want Chrissy here. This is because, honestly, we are tech.

Let's take a short break. If it's okay with you, Chrissy has volunteered to give the chair up. And this is not because we don't want Chrissy here. This is because, honestly, we are tech.

We are so technically challenged in the first place, adding another microphone and a chair. We shouldn't attempt it. No, no, no, no. Let's just pretend it's Chrissy for a minute. So Chrissy's going to step out. When we get back, it'll be Gustavo and I chitting and chatting about all things Venezuela. And I think you'll find that conversation interesting. And if you don't, fuck you.

We are so technically challenged in the first place, adding another microphone and a chair. We shouldn't attempt it. No, no, no, no. Let's just pretend it's Chrissy for a minute. So Chrissy's going to step out. When we get back, it'll be Gustavo and I chitting and chatting about all things Venezuela. And I think you'll find that conversation interesting. And if you don't, fuck you.

Go watch the game after this. All right, we'll be back.

Go watch the game after this. All right, we'll be back.

School's out for summer. School's out forever.

So the principal, who we know is a very lovely lady, she comes out and she's like, okay, now we're going to bring out the very little ones first. And because they are very scared of loud noises, let's all not scare them.

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy runs off into the crowd.

Gustavo. Gustavo. Gustavo.

I love it.

And now Chrissy has stepped out of the room so that we can have just a chat, him and I, because I think he's a little bit nervous. He doesn't want a crowd here. Absolutely. But the very lovely, always welcome in my studio, probably the first commercial break fan ever, I would assume.

Gustavo. He's even got a song about him here on the show. That's right.

You are a man of mystery in a lot of ways. And I find you to be mysterious. There are something... It's such an open book in so many ways. There's really not a lot to be hidden. But then in other ways... You are a complete mystery to me. Here's a mystery that I have that I've shared with the listeners on the show. But now that you're here, this is my brother-in-law, by the way.

He's talked about a lot on the show. You better be careful. Yeah, I know. Who do you think would win? If you and I got in an argument, who do you think your sister would favor? Matias. She would run away. It's probably a smart thing to do, actually. I wouldn't pick sides either. I'd be like, I'm out of this one. I'm out of this one. That's what she would do.

You were here over Thanksgiving, and you had an engagement ring burning a hole in your pocket.

And yet, you didn't ask me for help.

You couldn't have just pulled me a... I was telling you. What were you thinking about? You were giving me the ring finger like this?

He was dropping secret notes in my late night cereal and cream bowl, and I just didn't get it. I ate them.

You can answer me. First of all, congratulations on the engagement. Thank you so much. Ali is a wonderful woman, and you're lucky to have her. You're lucky you have anyone. What's that? Because I know you. Because I know you and I know her. You know, there's a saying in English. You've outclassed it, right? I don't know what that means. You married up. You're going to marry up, so to speak.

And I hope I get a good place at the wedding. I just want a front row seat to see if this actually happens. It'll depend after this episode. Okay, we'll see how that goes. How did you ask Ali to marry you is the question that's burning everybody's...

What's the name of the lake? Do you even remember? Do you even know?

Lake Brian.

You had to invite her 20 times? She didn't want to come. She didn't accept my invitations.

I think this is the funniest story. I really do. Gustavo's here. And Gustavo, his intention is to get Ale to the waterfall, which is quite beautiful, by the way, to get her to the waterfall so he can romantically propose to her in a natural setting, you know, by themselves, like having a romantic moment.

but Gustavo cannot convince Ale to go and Astrid does him no favors because she's also like ah why do you want to go there it's cold it's cold no one wants to go there they prefer to play board games with me You could have asked her right there at the board games. Well, congratulations in any case. Thank you so much. Congratulations.

You're now here in the United States on the student visa program. We'll see how long you get to stay. But I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for you to stay all the way through. I'm rooting for me also.

Well, I have some doubts about whether or not you're going to stay past January 21st. We'll see how it happens. So, you know, true or false, I am now the most famous Venezuelan you know.

You? Yes. That you know, that you personally know.

Okay.

You give me the words and I'll see if I understand them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah.

I'm not making it into Venezuela?

Chevere. Chevere. Chevere. Yeah, right. Uncle Google? No. Chevere. Oh, man. How do I use it in a sentence? Let's say that we went to the Braves game, right? And the Braves won. I would be like, man, that's chevre, right?

It was awesome. I'll handle it. Is that fair enough?

That's right. You're not chevre.

It's the thing that cleans your floor. Rumba.

A Roomba is like a little get-together with cocktails. A little informal party or a formal party?

I am now the most famous Venezuelan you know.

A really good party. Oh, a really good party. Like a hoedown, a jam.

No, I don't think I'd pass that one. I honestly thought Roomba was the thing that closed. No, I thought Roomba was like, I didn't think it was a party. I thought it was like a festival. I thought Roomba was like going to a festival.

All right. All right. Give me another one.

Coñazo. I don't know. I have no idea what coñazo means.

A spanking? Like a hitting? Like a slapping? A beating? Yeah. Coñazo means a beating? That's right. Really? Yeah.

Right now. You? Yes. That you know. That you personally know.

I think the first Venezuelan slang that I – okay, so you know Rafael. Yeah, of course. Rafael's mother.

Yeah, he's your cousin. Rafael, just to put kind of the family tree together for those listening. Rafael is my best friend, is kind of the connection, the reason why I met Astrid. Rafael and I have been friends for almost 30 years. Rafael's mother, I would listen to her. She was like one of the first Venezuelans that I knew besides Rafael. And she's like from Venezuela, right?

Really from Venezuela. Spent most of her life there. She used this word, ecte. Ecte. Ecte. Ecte. Do you know what this means? I think you forgot the real thing. So listen, here's the story. So then I would go around when I was using Spanish and I would say, este, este, este, to Rafael. And he was like, why are you using that dumb word? What does that mean, dude? And I go, doesn't it mean okay?

And he goes, no, that's my mom's terrible way of saying este. She says, este, este, este. Este. Este. This. This. This. Okay. Which is a word that she would use to like, like a punctuation on something like this. You know what I'm saying? Ecte.

That's metacaiban, I think.

Okay.

Tell me the story about nosotros.

I was. I did take Spanish classes for a while.

She was very difficult, yes.

Nosotros. But you couldn't pronounce it. Oh, that's right. You couldn't pronounce it. You're reminding me now. He was like, nos otros. Nos otros. So I would say, nos otros, which means we, right? So I would say, nos otros. That's right. And she would go, et no otros? Yeah. Do I say Brianne? Do I go Brianne? That's not how you say it?

You give me the words and I'll see if I understand them.

And it's like a child's Spanish book, right? She's giving like these children's workbooks. And here's the craziest thing about this lady. We would meet at a Starbucks most of the time because when we met at the library for a while, but she was so loud and aggressive that the librarian asked us to make it somewhere else. So then I would get a cognosin or a cognoso, a cognose, whatever.

They didn't accept me. Now I speak English and they love me or hate me, I guess, depending on what it is. That's right. You're very careful. So, you know, I didn't have AI when I first met Astrid. The what? AI. Like ChatGPG or something like that.

I'm not making it into Venezuela? All right. Okay.

No, I don't even think that I knew what Google Translate was at the time. I think I went to the internet and searched out the words that I wanted to say. The words I didn't know in Spanish. And when I put those words together, it apparently sounded so incredibly dumb that Astrid responded in English. I can imagine. Yeah, she was like, listen, I speak English. You don't need to speak Spanish.

But one of the... If I had... And I think I found Google Translate pretty quickly after that. But had AI been around, I think I probably would have gotten with your sister a lot quicker. It would have been much easier.

A lavia? Yeah. Like bullshit flowing out of my mouth like a volcano? Yeah.

Yes. You have that talent. I think in English you would either say affable or like you might be referred to as a people person. Okay, yeah. But I think that's kind of dumb because I don't know too many people that aren't people persons, you know, like who doesn't like people or who doesn't have one other person.

Yeah, listen, you take me to a place like Great Wolf Lodge, and I quickly don't like people.

That's it.

So I asked Chad GPT earlier today – I said, hey, ChatGPT. It's not really ChatGPT. It's a different one, but I'm not going to say the name here on air because they're not the sponsor. It's like ChatGPT. It starts with a G? What's that? It starts with a G? No, I'll show it to you after you get it. I said, hey, if I'm dating someone from Venezuela and I want to...

uh know who they are like i want to i want to impress them what are some of the things i need to know about to impress them that's good right and so they put out a list of things and i think it's pretty dead on i want to share it with you this is 20 things we'll go through a few okay Number one, family values. Family is extremely important to the Venezuelan culture.

Expect to meet family members early on and be prepared for family gatherings at a regular pace. What it doesn't say is prepare three or four extra bedrooms in your house for a nonstop flow of Venezuelans.

You have to become part of the family. And I think that is why, quite frankly, I feel so... indebted and ingrained in the Venezuelan culture is because when I met Raphael early on, here's the story, you ready? Raphael and I met at a restaurant. I was working at one restaurant, he was working at the other, they were the same restaurant, two different locations, two little Italian restaurants.

The owner wanted him to come work at the one over where I was working. And I'd been working at this restaurant for like four or five months. Didn't know Raphael, never met him. He comes over. He's sitting at the end of the bar. I'm bartending. Quickly, we strike up a conversation. And fast forward to six or seven hours later, we are incredibly intoxicated at the bar across the street.

And his grandparents, where he was living at the time, lived in the townhouse behind that bar, like half a mile behind the bar. Okay. So the bar closes, 3, 4 in the morning, bar closes. We are 30 drinks into it. I mean, we are just shithoused. And I'm like, I got to call a cab home. And he's like, no, fuck that, dude. We'll go to this gas station. We'll grab a six-pack of beer.

We'll go to my grandparents' house where I live. So I said, oh, your grandparents are going to let me stay there? And he said, my grandparents, they wouldn't have it any other way. You need to come to my grandparents' house. They'll cook us food.

This is like Waffle House? I had no understanding of Venezuela.

We walked to the townhouse. We open up the door. We're trying to be quiet so as not to wake up his grandparents. We go up these little stairs. We turn the corner. He opens the door. There's a bed, TV, fan. Looks perfect for me, right? Place where I can sleep with a little bit of air blowing on my face and a TV. So he says, go ahead, brother. Go ahead. Go to bed.

Celebrating the very first international match here in the Miami stadium of Venezuela versus the United States this afternoon, 3 p.m. I think you can watch it on Max TNT and a couple other places. That's right. So here we are giving you a special episode to celebrate this very unique meeting of two lovely countries, the United States and Venezuela, soon to be much more similar than ever before.

I'm going to go brush my teeth and stuff. And I'm like, cool, bro. See you later. Good night. And he's like, good night, bro. And I jump in the bed.

And I jump in the bed. And a couple of minutes later, I hear the door open. You woke up the grandpa because he was sleeping on the bed? No. I hear the door open. Didn't think anything of it. Maybe somebody forgot something. They don't know me. Us Irish people, we just play dead. We're like possums. Someone comes in, we just play dead.

That's what I do with Astrid a lot of times.

You close your eyes with your phone. Raphael slides under the covers. And I jumped out of that bed so fucking fast. I jumped out of that bed and I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And he goes, what's wrong? And I go, dude, dude, it's not like this. And he goes, like what? And I go, it's not like this. I'm sorry. I think you got the wrong impression.

You need to take me out on a date. You lured me here with food and grandparents and now you're trying to, I don't know what you're trying to do. And he was like, dude, don't freak out. And I was like, can I just please use the phone? I just need to call a cab. And I left. I literally left at like six in the morning, left.

And that was a shame because when I was leaving, his abuela was making arepas for us to eat because she heard us coming here.

It was beautiful.

A dude? If you were in the same situation, what would you have done?

I know.

He came in like two, three, four days later. He came in for his first day of work. I totally understand. You know, Rafa, he was like, dude, what's your problem? And I go, what's your problem, bro? I go, I didn't know you were gay. He goes, gay? What are you fucking talking about? I'm not gay.

Yeah, he said, we're Venezuelan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, what do you think? Did that look like a mansion to you? Do you think we had a bunch of bedrooms? He was like, you're sleeping in my bed.

Correct. That's right. And you treated me like a family member since day one.

Yeah, so I had to treat you like a brother. I took you on a jet ski. When Gustavo and I first met. We went down to Aruba. Yeah. And you had a couple of beers, son. I had 12 beers before you got there.

You, I wasn't so worried about. It was more your father, who Astrid had warned me about. And to be fair, your dad had kind of freaked out.

Totally.

Your dad's an intimidating man.

It's a machismo culture. And the men in the family are the men in the family. The only girl in the family. The only girl in the family. And this guy from America is going to take it. This old bald guy from America.

sending me message hi dad yeah still to this day number one phrase your dad says when he's at this house be careful yeah when we went to aruba we out of respect and because i'm irish catholic and i think this is this is like a universal thing for fathers no matter what religion you're in I understood that I would not be sleeping in the same bed as Astrid. That certainly wasn't going to happen.

We were just dating, not engaged, nothing. And so Astrid slept on the couch, and then Gustavo and I slept in these two single beds in this second bedroom.

Did he really?

No, I'm just kidding, just kidding. But every morning, his dad would come in. He would knock on the door. And like, you know, 7 o'clock in the morning, he'd knock on the door. He'd open it up. And he'd be like, Ay, Gustavo! Ay, Gustavo!

Now crunchier than before.

I think the other thing that it's important to know around family values and the family, the kind of the Venezuelan ever expanding family, the extended family is the fact that if you're married to a Venezuelan or if you're with a Venezuelan, you better be ready.

for any and all family members to be in your space at all times. When Astrid started inviting, you know, all family members to the house, I already understood this was going to happen because of Raphael's family. And I've never complained not once. Not once.

20 people in this house?

Futons, couches. There were people sleeping in the attic. I think there was someone. I think some dude came in the house.

We're here in the studio on this special day. Again, we decided to put this out on Saturday because the Venezuela-USA match is happening today. And we've got a very special guest here at the house. My brother-in-law, Gustavo.

This AI application also tells me that there's warmth and affection with the Venezuelan people. They tend to be warm and affectionate. Public displays of affection are common and expressing feelings openly is appreciated. I think it's generally true. I don't think it's like universally true, but I think it's generally true.

Music and dance. Oh, a lot.

What's your favorite? That country, Venezuelan country music that you like? Oh, Llanera? Yeah.

I wasn't. I actually watched it. She's taken me a number of Venezuelan concerts. I've enjoyed all of them. I went and saw the five brothers. What are they? The five guys? The Backstreet Boys? Boss Bass? Boss Bass. Boss Bass. That's really good. Yes. And then I saw the old guy up in Chicago, the very famous Venezuelan. The very famous old guy who sings like ballads and love songs.

I asked her, I'll have to tell you who it is. You don't remember the name? I don't remember the name.

Yeah. Tio Simón?

No, no, I don't think it was Tio Simón.

Reggaeton? Reggaeton and merengue. Yeah. You're into reggaeton? Oh, yeah, yeah. Who's your favorite reggaeton?

Yeah.

This is a moment of great pride for Gustavo. As a matter of fact, I don't think Nicky Jam would have even been on the show.

Are you guys getting into American music? I mean, I know you're into a lot of American, you know, Taylor Swift.

You are a Swifty. You made me a Swifty.

This house will make you a Swifty. Oh, yeah.

International man of mystery, Gustavo. He's an international man of mystery.

But, you know, country music in America is not really country anymore. Are you listening to, like, the newer country music? I can't even tell you. But I like the rhythm and the songs. I like a lot of country music.

Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson is more pop music.

Seven and a half feet tall. We actually have to adjust the camera angle to get him all in. I'm not sure the whole curtain gets it. He is really tall. He's a big boy.

It's got guitars, it's got solos and stuff like that. One of the other things that's very important to the Venezuelans, if you find yourself looking to date a Venezuelan... By the way, some of the most beautiful human beings in the world are Venezuelans. The women there are beautiful. You're saying that because of your wife. I'm definitely saying that because of my wife.

You don't want a coñazo after you finish the show. Ay, chamo. I don't want to be spending the night in Rafael's bed. But the cuisine, of course, is important, too. You've got your ayakas. You've got your pan de jamon. Your favorites, the ayakas. Ayakas. I just can't stand them. I don't know. Why do you have to put raisins in it?

Do you like raisins in your ayakas? I'm talking to LA off camera. Do you like raisins in the ayakas? I eat everything. I know you do. But you're a young man. You're growing.

I had this conversation with Joanna Hausman, and she said, I don't like the mix either.

But it reminds me of home. That's right. And for that reason, I like it. Is the ayakas kind of throw out the garbage food? Like, let's take all the stuff we have left over.

No, I know they do, but did it originate as kind of like a throw out the garbage food? You don't know.

Native.

And he eats me out of house and home every time he comes. Every time he comes here to my house, I tell Astrid that we have to put an extra $300 in the grocery budget. And here's a couple of reasons why. Gustavo will sit. Like, I know I have a bad cream and cereal addiction that pot rears its ugly head from time to time, usually in the winter because I can hide it with clothing.

That was like the history version.

So the indigenous who were slaves would ask their masters for whatever food was left over. Yeah, correct. Can you put it here? Can you put it here? And they would roll it up, steam it, eat it.

I hate to hear about the slaves, but, you know. The ayakas is generally the only food. Yeah. that Astrid has ever introduced me to, or anybody Venezuelan has introduced me to, that I don't care for. I just generally don't like the ayakas. But everything else, I'm on board with.

Give me some cream and some cereal and a cheeseburger, please. That's right. I can deal. The reason why I ran out of the room, the reason why I turned my nose in disgust was not because I saw that everyone was doing this with love and with care. It's that I had had them before. Maybe you guys make them better. Maybe I should try them all over again. Maybe it's different from family to family.

My mom will be very proud of you if you try one of her yakis. It's like a yearly...

We went to drop something off to go send it to Venezuela. And at the time, you know, and still to this day, you can't just send something directly to Venezuela from the United States. It's got to go on a boat or it's got to go through another country because of all of the trade restrictions around Venezuela.

So when you want to send something, you box it up and you go to a guy that lives in a shack. And that dude in the shack boxes everything up with other stuff that's going to Venezuela. Then he rents out space on a boat. He puts it on a boat. He gets there seven weeks later. So we went one time to this place. And I'm telling you, Gustavo.

uh the guy gave us a box of frozen i this was like february one gave us a box of frozen ayakas there must have been 600 as a gift he just gave it to astrid and it had it was a box full of ayakas those were leftovers those were leftovers and they weren't very good at all i can imagine no one like that all right let's continue this conversation we'll take a break we'll be back

Gustavo will sit and eat an entire family box of... Family-sized box of cereal in one sitting, which is amazing to me. I don't even... I think I was doing too much cocaine to really go through that growth spurt where I ate a ton of food in one sitting. But it still amazes me that any human being can sit and eat as much food as Gustavo.

All right, and we're back here with my brother-in-law, Gustavo, joining us in the studio. Chrissy has stepped out for a few minutes to allow Gustavo to take the throne. Thank you, Chrissy. Congratulations. You don't get Chrissy out of that throne very easy. This is an honor.

Actually, lots of people have sat in that seat.

You know, the funny thing is that Chrissy came in today, and we were trying to figure out how we get all three of us in this camera angle. I just couldn't work it out. We didn't have an extra good microphone and stuff like that. And Chrissy said, well, I'll go, or you can step out, and I'll talk to Gustavo. And I was like, you're going to let my brother-in-law be in here?

I think Astrid really does want me to be on the studio for an hour. We're talking about things that are important to know if you're going to be in a relationship with a Venezuelan. Now, you know, Astrid, Ale, and Gustavo are taken, so none of us are on the block, but just in case. We've been talking through some of the things we just got done with cuisine.

Tecanos are my favorite Venezuelan import to this household. For real?

There was a time during the pandemic when I ate cachapas every night, probably for three or four months, every single night. A cachapa is a corn cake that is fried, and then you put butter and you put cheese on it. So it's like cornmeal, butter, cheese. You can put lots of different stuff on it, but that's how we prepare them here.

The butter and the corn. I want to tell the Americans what this is like. This is like going and getting a really good corn on the cob and then smearing it with salted butter. And it's so delicious and juicy and wonderful. And then you put on top of that the white cheese.

Yeah, like a fresca cheese, like something that's native.

Sometimes.

What is your favorite Venezuelan food?

It's mixed together?

Okay, so it's like a dish. It's a dish, yeah. It's really good. So let me ask you this. The shredded meat that's like marinated in something?

You know, the other thing that I don't care for is plantains. I know a lot of people love plantains, but... Man, that's really mean of you. I know. I think if Astrid had to claim a food. You have to work on that.

But yeah, I think plantains is a staple. But to me, it's a sweet food. So it doesn't go in the hearty category, if that makes sense.

It's more a dessert for you? I prefer having ice cream with plantains rather than meat with plantains.

Yeah. I see Aster eating steak and plantains, and I'm like, that's like putting chocolate on an hamburger. I don't get it. But some people like that combination while they're sitting there. I prefer to split my meals up, and that is a very American thing to do. You have your salties, and then you have your sweets, or you do it the other way around, whatever it is. You don't mix those two together.

Very rarely happens. And I think as close as that comes for me is a cachapa. Because it's a little sweet. It's got the butter that's salty. Yeah. And then you've got the cheese that adds a little bit of flavor to it. I one time made them. Have you had roti? Do you know what roti is? No. Roti, the soup, the spicy soup that's made.

I think that's the one thing that surprises me about you and your father and I guess Venezuelans in general, including Rafael, is you have such an aversion to spicy foods.

Yeah. You know, no Venezuelan man that I have known really well has liked spicy foods. Yeah, it's more a Mexican thing, not Venezuelan. It really is a Mexican thing. And if there's one thing your dad loves, it's Mexican food. That's right. There's one thing that Daniel loves. It's that Mexican food. That's right. What did he tell me one time? He said he was working in Mexico.

What's the story he told?

And women stop growing at like 26 or something like that. And then we start shrinking. Our dicks get smaller. Our ears get larger. Our nose hair gets longer. And we get smellier and less intelligent. Women just age gracefully through the years. And that's how it goes. Gustavo is a huge boy. And it's just the amount of food that he eats is immense, Chrissy. It's immense. Yeah. But he's here.

Oh, he did? Yeah, yeah, he did. Your sister has always told me that he's not a fan of tacos.

Yeah, the lamb tacos. Oh, yeah, they're very good. The street tacos. I think Astrid has been secretly saying that because she doesn't want me to go have tacos. I'm talking to Astrid about that. I think Astrid is using Daniel as an excuse to get me out of Mexico.

Not only are they beautiful, but they tend to be pretty intelligent, too. That's right. That's for sure. They do, they do. That's right. All right, moving on. Social life. Venezuelans enjoy socializing and often gather with family and friends. I find this to be true, and here's why I think this is so important to the Venezuelan people, especially now.

Why it's so important, like Astrid, I'm sure Ale feels this way, I'm sure you feel this way, is the Venezuelans are a displaced people. They're a displaced people, and they have been a displaced people. The indigenous have lived there, but the Spanish came over. They were a displaced people. And now many Venezuelans, most of them, it's kind of in a brain drain, is a displaced people also.

It is so important to keep that connection through socialization, family members or not family members, because that is the connection to home. Home is a thought right now for a lot of Venezuelans. It's not a place.

It's a real challenge.

one and again I get it I have a real longing for that in my own family because that is not how we operate our family I've said this on the show I've told Astrid this I've probably told my therapist this a million times in my culture and by culture I mean the family that I grew up in and the people and the extended family members we have gatherings are not a thing you linger it's not a place where you linger it's a place where you get together for a minute and

And then you go, right? And then you're out. You don't linger. No one spends the night. You know how many times I spent the night at my grandma's house on my mom's side? Twice. Really? Maybe. Maybe twice. That's weird. We would literally go to a hotel before we would spend the night. That's weird. It's very strange.

Now that I've been embedded in this culture for so long, I see just how strange that really was.

I think it's the biggest, I think it's one of the biggest blessings you can give a child. It's one of the biggest blessings you can impart on someone like me who doesn't have it is the longing for connection with family in that way.

Now it still takes some getting used to, and it doesn't mean that you're always, you're ever like a hundred, like as someone as an outsider, I might always be just a little bit outside the actual, like the actual culture then that way.

But I long for, and I love, that Astrid gets to stay up till three in the morning, hanging out with her family. I think it's beautiful, I really do.

First of all, can you guys stop fucking talking over each other just for one second? I mean, honestly, you walk into a room of Venezuelans and everybody is having six different conversations at the same time. How do you even operate in that manner?

Oh, I get it. I hear my name all the time. But when three of you are saying it at the same time, I can't understand that one of you.

He's celebrating the engagement, the recent engagement with his lovely fiance, Ale, who has been, I mean, as long as I've, they have been together. I think I mentioned this on the show before. They've been together for 12 years, 12 years. So he was three when they met or something like that. I can't do the math real quick, but they've been together since they were like in high school.

You're playing a game with me. We love to see your face. I think it's very difficult to understand Venezuelans if you're trying to learn Spanish. And I've said this many times. You're all talking over each other. That's impossible. It's hard. I need one person saying it relatively slowly to me, and then I can understand.

Yeah, but can we be fair to me, is that your mom's English Needs a little work. Just like my Spanish needs a little work.

It is.

It is. It is. It's really hard to understand. Your mom complained to me a couple, like last year, she complained to me. She goes, you know, in Spanish, you know, you don't look the mean.

I used to try, but I don't understand. Now, I think me and your mom have this understanding where we try to slow down for each other a little bit more because I really do sometimes have a hard time understanding your mother. But, you know, listen, Again, I think probably one of the greatest gifts that's been imparted to me is the gift of the Venezuelan family.

Because without that, I'd just be stuck in my miserable Irish Catholic family. And they're not miserable people. We just don't operate on the same level.

Yeah. We would never think to sit up till three in the morning playing board games. I think we'd get way too irritated with each other for that. We'd just all be irritated.

Yeah. I think, too, is that you're right about this, is that Americans, by and large, grow up with the television as the center of attention. So when they grow older and they have families of their own, the television is the center of attention.

I don't know what you guys have down there. I haven't been, and I'm probably not going to get to go now. I'm probably out. You won't. No, I'd love to. I can't wait to go.

Listen, this is so crazy because when I ask, hold on one second.

ChatGPT told me this.

AI told me this. Hold on.

I'll be the next level. Venezuelan... I saw this somewhere. What did you call this? Radio Rochella. Okay, tell me about this.

So high school sweethearts. Gustavo comes here. It's such a love story. It is kind of a love story. Can you imagine getting married to your high school sweetheart?

Do you think part of the reason why Venezuelans turn inward or turned inward to family is because the outside world was kind of a scary place?

God damn, fuck all you. You're so beautiful. What the fuck? We are.

What the fuck? You're going to make me want to restore faith in humanity just when I'm losing all faith, just when I think I've got it pinned down.

I probably was born in the wrong place. And listen, I think that's a thing, too. Sometimes people just feel like they're born in the wrong place.

Not very soon. Or I won't. When's the next election? Somebody was writing on one of those comments that we'll figure this out in the next couple of days.

January the 8th.

Chrissy goes, yeah, I can.

We heard. You heard. The person who supposedly won was recognized by a lot of democratic countries as the winner.