Guy Winch

And then your kids run to your partner and say, hey, can I have the cookie?

And the partner says, no, because they shouldn't be having the cookie.

And they run to you and you're like, you're too drained to deal with it.

So you go, yeah, sure, whatever.

And you undermine your partner's efforts.

There's so much research.

that shows how our stress and strain at work plays out at home to the detriment of our partners, to the detriment of our relationship, all of which in ways that we're unaware, because none of us wants to do that to our partners, but it plays out because we are just not aware and we're not making the intentional effort required to avoid it, to correct it.

And here's the thing.

You were not exhausted.

You were telling yourself, I am so exhausted.

What you need to say to yourself is, I am mentally tired.

I'm not physically tired.

So yes, it requires a leap of faith to get yourself off the couch.

But if you remind yourself, I know I'm going to feel so much better when I come back from doing whatever the thing is that I need to do.

But you don't need to run a marathon.

15 minutes of doing the thing, 30 minutes, truly even 15, of doing the other activity is enough to kind of refresh, is enough to recharge, is enough to remind you that there's more to life than just working and vegging.

Do it, and you'll be so glad you did.

If you're worried about that, or if you're ruminating about, you know, the upsetting things that happened with your coworker or about how unfair it is that you didn't get the promotion, it's going to eat up hours of your time.

What you do need to do to stop ruminating about it is think about it in productive ways.

Then you problem solve.