Hannah Brennan

A liability.

And I was angry and I was confused and I was really hurt.

So I decided to be smart instead.

And long after my body began to change physically, those messages stayed with me.

And being smart and having a plan and being in control became key to my identity and my feelings of success.

And then becoming pregnant and my body is growing and changing in ways that I don't understand, it still felt pretty important to have a plan and be in control.

But that was because I still believed my body to be a liability, not a source of wisdom.

As months went by, my baby grew inside me.

And with my midwife's gentle probing, I started to rediscover my body's wisdom.

A true teacher, she made it clear in her method that she was the expert in midwifery, and she trusted and believed in me to be the expert in my body and in giving birth.

I started to trust that if my body could make a brand new human being, it probably knew how to get it out.

But here I am, in pain and discomfort in my yellow chair, far too pregnant.

My midwife and her student arrive and sit close to me.

She presses her hands gently but keenly on my ankles, checking the level of swelling.

After careful observation, she says, there is no indication that this baby is in distress.

Nor is there any indication that you are in distress.

All the signs suggest that your body is moving towards birth.

Just very slowly.

We can go to the hospital, or we can wait a little longer.

It's your choice.