Hannah Brennan

We sit in silence.

Tears trickle down my cheeks.

Her advice seemed so wise just a few weeks ago.

And now, surrender to my body's wisdom.

I'm hot, I'm tired, everything hurts, and I'm not feeling too wise right now.

I'm telling myself that my body knows how to give birth and I want to believe it.

Am I fooling myself?

Am I risking my baby's safety?

I'm not supposed to be this far past my due date.

Is something wrong?

And wait a little longer?

This waiting and trusting

is really hard.

Plus my family and friends are saying with more and more force, you have got to go to the hospital.

I've turned my phone off.

I'm too pregnant and too open to hear their fears and concerns now, otherwise I may just start believing them.

Again, I notice her hands on my feet, this time for comfort and reassurance.

She knows that going to the hospital will likely lead to the interventions I so want to avoid.

Heck, if I was having a hospital birth, I would have been induced two weeks ago.

She also knows that in over 40 years of practice, she has rarely seen a woman go this far.