Hannah Murray

And I'm in my twenties and loads of my friends do all the same things.

And sometimes I was like desperate to give those things up.

And I just found that meditation, spirituality, and then particularly this organization was something else to get addicted to.

Yes.

I thought it was a healthy addiction.

You know, I thought it could only bring good things into my life.

But I think it was...

exactly the same kind of piece of me that was being activated um that just wanted kind of more and more and more of a rush of a high of a good feeling that was uh kind of made me very vulnerable to that

I can try.

I can try and give a, yeah, a reasonably short account of that.

So I, on the final day of the course, there was going to, we were all going to be initiated at the sort of next level of the organization's structure.

And we were sort of getting ready for that and we were performing these healings on each other and

And I just, something was starting to really, really not be right in my head.

And I was hearing voices.

I had this kind of darkness closing in at the corners of my vision.

I was really struggling to kind of feel present.

And because of the context, it all felt, you know, like kind of a magical spiritual experience, but it was very, very scary.

And I ended up

going to the toilets in this basement of this hotel, I think just to kind of get away from other people and kind of have a moment.

And then I didn't leave the cubicle for many hours.