Hannah Murray

And she said, you know, I think you might want to really talk to someone and try and get some kind of help.

And I just sort of thought I was really anti the idea of taking medication at that point.

And so I was really reluctant to kind of go there.

It felt scary.

But I do think, you know, I think that her concern was definitely there.

Yeah, I think I thought it was my responsibility to fix myself.

I needed to find something like meditation, like spirituality, like ultimately like magic or things like, you know, healthy eating and exercise.

I thought it was like stuff I should be doing for myself.

I think there is a real kind of thing.

I see it a lot.

I still see it as kind of like you should always be optimizing who you are.

You should be perfect.

You should be working out seven days a week.

You should be eating really cleanly.

You should kind of all these things.

There's a kind of drive, I think, among a lot of people

my age or younger to kind of think like I have to be this like idealized human and I think you know wellness is a big umbrella but it can kind of take in your body and your mind and even your soul and I just think sometimes I think why aren't we sort of enough as we are why aren't we okay with all our flaws and sometimes we maybe want to I don't know lie on the sofa and eat crisps all evening like that should be allowed like I just I don't want to

It did.

It did start dawning on me, but it was a very gradual dawning, I suppose.

And I think the thing that was really difficult for me was I had gone through this incredibly strange experience and had all these really intense beliefs and I didn't really understand