Hari Kundabolu

And I thought that was the sexiest way anyone's ever turned down a shared Pepsi.

I offered to buy you one anyway, but you rolled up your window and said something about feeding hours being over, which was slightly rude because dinosaurs have feelings too.

This guy's really in character.

If you're reading this, I'll be back at the same Walgreens next weekend.

I'll be in the clearance aisle trying on discounted vampire teeth just in case you need a backup pair.

Don't try them on at the store.

They're one size fits all.

Yeah, and the eyelashes, exactly.

Come by, I promise I won't bite unless you're into that.

That's signed Dougie the Dino.

Someone really is going to go there and it's going to taste like someone else's mouth.

This kind of makes me Halloween season is wrapping up here.

I think it's over.

Those are your Craigslist Missed Connections Halloween style.

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My residency colon was like a cry for help, honestly.

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Along the central Texas plains, teens are dying.

Suicides that don't make sense.

Strange accidents and brutal murders.